Cleo's Dating Blog

Los Angeles Men

Posted on: April 16, 2010

Hello all,

Today marks the beginning of a mission to figure out if Los Angeles Men really are different then men elsewhere…. and by different I mean, are they bigger douche bags? (harsh, I know.)

For those of you who don’t know, a douche bag looks like this (notice the Laker colors):

There are more of these types of men in LA then there are starving models, failing actors, and Jonas Brothers fans combined- and that’s a lot. This is a fact. What is not so clear is 1. why and 2. how a down-to-earth girl living in LA can bypass these losers to find the men we all want (unfortunately that involves figuring out what we want…tbd?). In the meantime, I want this:

Gotta luv ice cream!!

Before I continue, I first must say that I believe stereotyping and generalizing is never accurate. There are always “diamonds in the rough” and it IS possible to find something good in everyone… even if you have to look past the fake tan skin, creatine infused muscles, and tribal tattoos. However, it is NOT possible to ignore the majority. So this brings us to my aforementioned questions- which I could use your help in answering.

1. Why are there so many dbags?

Could it be something in the water? I did a little research and, according to the Environmental Working Group, Los Angeles had the 84th best quality drinking water out of the largest 100 cities… :/. Those of us that live here know, however, that vodka soda is the drink of choice over water any day.. so this stat may not be so accurate. Any thoughts as to the real answer?

My theory: Women determine how a prospective male will treat us through our body language, appearance, conversational skills, and so much more. Therefore, how can we expect a man to act like a respectable, professional, charming beacon of testosterone if this what LA women are thought of:

Why else would you want size H breast unless you want to date a dbag?

Further support of this theory to come in future posts.

2. How can a truly beautiful woman (as we all are) sift through the trash?

Well, that is what this blog is for and hopefully, with your help, we can answer this question and all find what we are looking for.

Happy Hunting,



4 Responses to "Los Angeles Men"

Very true…It’s simple evolution. The men develop in order to attract the women. The “average” Los Angeles woman requires an overly egotistical man in order to make-up for her overly insecure nature. The “average” man therefore steps up his doucheness in order to meet the need. Lucky for you the LA Douche “peacocks” himself to attract the H-breasted women and can easily be avoided. Anyways I gotta get my Ed Hardy shirt and spiky bleached hair ready for the club tonight. PZ

this guy sounds like a douche himself, cleo. douche’s usually have small penis’. trust me, ive had my fair share!


pen 15

Pen, seems your experience is well justified as my penis is 3 inches long. It’s also 12 inches wide which probably explains my Jersey Shore nickname “Childbirth”.

I typically don’t acknowledge responses that aren’t from H-Racked Blondes but I felt the need since it’s clear you’re totally in love with me ;)

Don’t get your hopes up though as this douche only has three things on his mind. “pussy, pussy, pussy.”

Hi Cleo,

I am a gay male and I completely agree with this blog. I probably would still be straight if I didn’t have to compete with the cunty men that we have in our world today. All they have on their mind is,” pussy, pussy, pussy.” When I was “straight,” I would try to fall in love with a girl before I even came close to her peesh! But, this could be because I am a homosexual.

I can answer the question to why there are so many d-bags. Its the mothafuckin parents fault. The parents should have beat their ass as a child so they would know right from wrong when they grew up. My mother and father constantly kicked my ass and i turned out a fine young man (honestly).

Some men are honestly just screwed for life.

And Heidi, really girl? come on, your rack is the size of a women who weighs 600 pounds. Trust me, im studying medicine and when one of those shits pop or leak or something, i aint gonna help you. You didnt think about the future, obviously. for one, you almost died in surgery, two, your kids are going to be dumb (or douche bags) cause there is no way your breast milk will travel to your tit, three, when your 78, if you reach that age, what are you going to look like with a fucking coconut tree sitting on your chest?

by the way, the guy with the ice cream is one of my favorite gay porn stars, cody cummings!

cleopatra, i wish you would have came earlier girl to save our douche bag population.

I think I Love you,

Pen 15

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