Cleo's Dating Blog

Experiment #1: Recap On What We Learned

Posted on: April 28, 2010

Hello Beautifuls,

Its just a regular weekday over here in Cleopatra’s life. Dating is busy, busy and combined with work, friends, taking time for myself, and exercising, my flirtatious and attractive self is tired! Being single is definitely fun but I’m getting exhausted… who needs a vacation?? All I need is a vacation to the local Coffee Bean where the down to earth, green-eyed, broad-shouldered, male college-student baristera will give me not only a coffee boost, but a spring in my dating step. Who wants to join? rawr!



First of all, how did your Eye Contact experiments go? I have been practicing for years and this week, as with most others, proved successful once again. I should get an Oscar! Highlights from this week:

1. Monday: Saw a guy I’ve been dating for awhile, we will call him”pumpkin”. The dynamic of our relationship is casual, fun, and reliable. Since it’s been a few months, I use eye contact that portrays that I’m listening, that I care, that I’m trustworthy, but also that I’m fun and independent. At this stage many women start using crazy, clingy eye contact  that is screaming for attention and commitment (trust me, I know from experience). Paired with frequent texts, calls, wall posts, and affectionate body language, this can often scare away an independent guy like Pumpkin. Although it is natural for a woman to want to add titles to a relationship, many men, especially Los Angeles men can not handle that. However, that does not mean we need to accept this. If you know this is not the relationship dynamic you want, then look elsewhere- there are tons of other men to train!  But if you are having a good time then keeping this relationship going can be a great learning experience.

The issue arises when you start feeling attached, which is something that happens to me easily. Here is the key: “Fill the Funnel”. I stole this principal from the book, You Lost Him At Hello by Jess McCann. Until there is a true commitment, do not start prematurely settling down. I’d say on any given day, I have at least 3 different men in my pipeline. This may not be ideal for all women, but it works for me since I still do not know what exactly I am looking for in a man. Thus each one addresses a different need in my life at this time: whether it be entertainment, affection, laughter, free dinners, etc. But always remember to be open and honest (this principle should be applied to friendships as well!). For example, I make sure to let Pumpkin know that I care but that I am not going to focus my attention on a non-committal relationship. In my opinion, it’s just not emotionally healthy.

2. Wednesday: Every week a very tall, dark, handsome man comes into my office and I always take this opportunity to practice my eye contact skills. We will call this man “curly”. I try to look deep into Curly’s eyes, act very confident, and see if I can make this older, attractive man nervous… and it works every time! Women, we have a lot more power then you think. And making Curly nervous works perfectly for me because then he is very cautious about making a move on me at the office, which is great for eliminating the possibility of awkward moments! I recommend you all try picking a victim to use to test and perfect your skills. It is quite a confidence booster- and we could all use one of those every once in awhile.

3. Friday: Had a first date. Usually my opinion of  going on a first date is “eww”. I don’t like forced conversation, awkwardness, or finding out that someone is not as attractive as you thought. However, I got good vibes from this guy as he paid for my valet, haha. We will call this guy “maritni”. So on this date I made sure to use very confident and sometimes flirty eyes- you want to make sure he is locked in on your luscious eye lashes and no other girls’. It seemed to work great as Martini is already planning to take me to concerts this summer, had me meet his friends, and talked to me the next day. Woo! Now I just have to decide if I’m interested, hehe. Having a full funnel is fun because it gives a girl so many options. (disclaimer: if all you do is look at a guy, you will never get a second date. You must be able to HOLD A CONVERSATION. Detailed post on this concept to come shortly.)

4. Sunday: Had a date with who will we call “wasabi.” This was our second date, so still a little jittery. He is definitely the gentleman type and, what a surprise, he’s not originally from LA! So on this date, I left the sultry, lustful eyes at home. Instead I dusted off the sweet eyes and brought along a sparkling smile to accent them. It wasn’t the best date of my life but definitely pleasant, successful, and a step in the right direction. Never any regrets when acting classy. Date number three coming soon.

In conclusion, there are many different ways to use something as simple as eye contact to set the stage for how a guy will treat you. Of course there are many other factors, such as body language and verbal communication, but being able to use great eye contact can keep a lasting image on a man-boy. Alternatively, you can use your eye contact to give hints when you are not interested as well, because frankly, not every guy is worth dating. You’re time is valuable and should not be wasted! As a side note, I will probably check out this book my next trip to Borders. Let me know if you do the same and what you think about it!

Hope this post was helpful!

Much Love,

Cleopatra

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