Cleo's Dating Blog


Posted on: July 13, 2010

The law of Karma, in a nut shell, is the belief that every act done, no matter how insignificant, will eventually be returned to the doer with equal impact. So… if you dump your motor oil down the sewer drain, a bird with most likely poop on your head.

I think about the concept of Karma all the time. However, I am struggling writing this next sentence because I am unsure why. There are events in my life that happen that I could easily associate with a good/bad deed I previously did. OR… do I just want past and future outcomes to be directly associated so I can feel like I have some control over the events in my life?

Unfortunately, I have no idea what the answer is. All I know is that I will never know and that trying to figure it out will probably just waste the valuable and diminishing brain cells that I have. And what hurt is there in believing that you will be rewarded for doing good deeds? Therefore, I (blindly) believe in the importance of good deeds with good intentions.

Here are some examples of small, good deeds you could add to your daily routine and why:

1. Acknowledge the homeless man on the corner, the bank teller cashing your check, the server taking your order, or the nerdy guy trying to ask you on a date, as people with a valid existence- not merely as someone whose purpose in life is to serve or inconvenience you. Although that may be the case, in reality, you are also an inconvenience or servant of someone else at times. Be respectful of people of all walks of life as you too would like to be respected. As illustrated by the picture below, it can be very difficult to bestow respect upon all people. Yet it is a worthy skill to practice as it builds an admirable, attractive personality trait and, if Karma really does exist, you will appreciate being shown respect under circumstances where you least expect it. However, as with everything in life, be wise about what situations you put yourself in- not everyone you encounter will have their head screwed on straight.

2. Genuinely help someone else with their dating life. Yes, it is possible to take a break from thinking about your dating issues. The simplest way to help someone is just to listen. Do your best to place yourself in his or her shoes and try to think of ways to alleviate their heart ache, loneliness, or frustration. You will appreciate this treatment when you are at your weakest point and just want someone to share froyo with that will listen and understand you.

You could even take a more proactive approach to helping your friends’ dating lives. For example, I have always heard that one of the best ways to meet someone is through friends or friends of friends. Thus, I am always secretly hoping that my friends will set me up up with Prince Charming and we will live happily ever after. Although this is a fairytale story that I can not control, I try to do my part in making this fantasy come true for those around me.

I recently played matchmaker for a single, male coworker in his 40s with a single, female I know from a past job who is of similar age. Everyone gets busy, especially those in high pressure careers, and often the years fly by with some of us unable to find a special someone to settle down with. This is normal. Some people would even prefer it. However, through close observation, I could see that the hard outer shells of my two business colleagues indeed shielded a much softer, mushier, lovey-dovey inner core. Thus I proposed the concept of a blind date, warmed each of them up to the idea, traded their contact info, and am currently watching the magic happen. I will keep you posted on the wedding date (jk… but maybe!). Although I have yet to reap any personal benefits from this deed, the very act itself brings a smile to my face each time I think about how I, a mere 20-something, was able to make two established business people giddy. Can you imagine how beautiful it would be if they fell in love? I am proud that I did not choose the easy path and ignore the idea altogether. Life is much more fun and rewarding when you take a risk for the better.

3. Pick up trash when you see it (and you are not wearing your D&G suit or Jimmy Choo shoes, some things are not worth it). Although this is not related to dating, a clean world is a happy world :). You may end up finding a treasure along the way.

4. Tell someone close to you how much you appreciate them. Giving random, unexpected compliments are an easy way to spread love amongst those you care about. Doing so may awaken the magical powers of Karma and trigger your friends to do the same to you. Only sucking up when you need a favor is not the way to fuel a lasting relationship.

For those of you reading this post, you are a part of a post made on one of Cleo’s worst days ever. I seriously had a horrible day from the moment my alarm went off at 5:30am, on and off throughout work, and ending with me crying in the car the whole way home (due to work drama, details of which I will not bore you with). Beneath of my crushed exterior however, I found that I was still happy. I was happy because of Karma (or so I believe). So many random, unsual events occurred today that prevented me from being alone and feeling sorry for myself. My best friend randomly called (and we talk once every month, if that), my roommate came home before me (which only happened because he called in sick) and listened to my problems with a caring heart, I got a very flattering facebook message from a hot guy that I met a month ago that I have not talked to since, I went to dinner with my dad away from home (first time ever), and a charming business associate (first time) chatting with me all day and making me giggle . These are only a few of the amazing things that happened today… very unusual. I believe that the genuine effort I put in to caring for my friends, associates, and strangers is what added sweetness to my rotten day and kept me from quitting my job, going insane, or voluntarily crashing my car. Love love love.

So little Cleo-ites, just try spreading some love around your corner of the world. Whether or not you see results in terms of Karma, I guarantee you will find a spring in your step and a flutter in your heart, even on your most horrible days.

Much love,

Mama Cleo


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