Cleo's Dating Blog

Waiting In Line

Posted on: August 18, 2010

Since my most recent post described my greatest passion in life (stimulating conversation/interaction), it is only appropriate that I discuss my least favorite. I am one of those people that dislikes Disneyland, airports, Forever 21 dressing rooms, and Olive Garden on a friday night: I hate waiting in line.

It physically hurts when the pace of my life is controlled by someone other than me. I have always been that person that tries to cram as much as I can into each moment (this unfortunately gives me a minor case of chronic un-punctuality). Up until about a year ago, I did not know the meaning of the verb chill. What is that? It was like trying to explain abstinence to a frat guy: it clashed with my lifestyle choices.

Sometimes I would wake up at 8am on a Saturday morning (after going out the night before, of course) and, although hung over, I would be ready to attack the day. My mental checklist would be craving attention: gym, beach, lunch date, store, shopping, errands, blah, blah. It wasn’t until enough of my male bedmates (teehee) got annoyed with me that I realized… I need to learn how to relax.

Through meditation and mentally calming my overactive mind, I have improved in being able to just chill. This helps me remain balanced and enables me to be a better listener to those around me. Life is not about getting from point A to point B, but enjoying the now.

Although I am better at enjoying the present moment, there are some areas of life that I still struggle with. My “chill” level needs work when it comes to waiting on…. GUYS. Ugh. Waiting for guys to call. Waiting for guys to text back. Waiting for guys to committ. Waiting for guys to realize that i’m amazing. Waiting for guys to buy me the Tiffany’s that I deserve. Waiting, waiting, waiting.

So what is a girl to do when she does not want to wait anymore? It’s simple,  just don’t. If you are waiting on a man, that means you are expecting something- expecting an action, a gesture of love, something. Expectation is the only avenue that leads to disappointment. Probably the only thing I dislike more then waiting in line is disappointment.

When keeping men at arms distance, with a barrier between them and your feelings, it is easier to not have expectations because you have not given them the tools to hurt you. Your heart is protected. When I have my feelings in check, I honestly am the most confident, care free woman. I genuinely and sincerely do not care if the guys I date end up liking me- deep down I know they will (please do not take this statement as arrogant). I have practiced self improvement for so many years that I know I am a catch. My accomplishments, goals, personality, and looks could land me almost any guy. If you all get to the point where you genuinely love yourself and actively work on the areas that you do not love, you will feel the exact same way.

Now, having expectations is not a bad thing. Expectations means you have standards. Standards means that you respect yourself, you know what you are worth, you know what you have to offer, and you do not want to settle for less. The problem with having standards is that it makes dating harder. If you chose to have standards (as you should), you must also expect that finding the right person is going to be extremely difficult.

But hey, life is about challenges. I say, bring it on.

As I write, I am facing a challenge. Challenge arises when that safety net around your heart begins to implode… as mine is starting to. This naturally occurs after dating becomes more serious and you find yourself thinking about that special someone, missing that someone, and wanting to spend as many waking moments as possible with that someone. The barrier has been lifted and you become vulnerable. Usually a guy can get to my core when they are genuinely comfortable expressing their feelings for me- when they are not afraid to call just to say they miss me. and then call again. and again. Is there anyone in this world that does not like feeling missed?

When a guy’s grandiose gestures and feelings line up with their actions, life is perfect. My ninja friend said I am addicted to this feeling… I totally am.

It is when their gestures do NOT align with their actions that my addiction becomes painful. I dunno about you sista gurl, but this happens to me all the time! So many men express utter infatuation with me, spend significant amounts of money and time with me, only to disappear for a few days, come back, and expect to pick up where we left off. I mean, I know I’m not 100% normal (but really, who is?), but you have got to be joking me. There is no get out of jail free card. I know I deserve better and I expect that.

So, you may be thinking, “Cleo, how do you get this pain to go away?”. If I might put it simply, you just give up. When a guy disappoints, find alternative means for happiness. Write a blog, exercise…. but the best cure I found is to continue to date (and never forget how amazing you are!). Date new people, past people, anyone that scratches your intellect and gives you nervous butterflies. If you don’t know anyone like that, go find them. When you are young and beautiful, as I know you are (only beautiful people read this blog), then if wont be hard to find new, exciting adventures. Doing something that scares you is the best way to keep growing, learning, and overcoming challenges.

In the end, nothing is failed if you learn something.

All my love,

Cleopatra the Goddess

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3 Responses to "Waiting In Line"

Contagious confidence. Amazing message. Incredible insight. One thing though…I often mistake my shear pursuit of personal improvement as near perfection or superiority over others. I know this to be immature of me though. Personally, I’d feel a bit silly if I thought every gal deep down wants me. Thoughts?

This is probably one of the best blog entries I have read. Strangely, one of my mottos in life is that there is no such thing as a get out of jail free card. How strange.

Could not agree more with each sentence I just read. simply and too much of a Trojan fan.. fight on sista!

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