Cleo's Dating Blog

The Man Bubble

Posted on: November 9, 2010

Since I am somewhat of a nerd, while in traffic today, I was thinking about my current dating position and how much it relates to the Dot-Com or Tech Bubble of the late 1990’s. Here’s why…

Do you ever get (emotionally) invested into something before you know all the facts? Or do ever you start planning for the future even though the present is so unstable? And although all the historical trends show that there is very low likelihood of this upward climb to continue, do you still choose to buy buy buy?

Well I can answer yes to all these questions fifty times over. The benefit of the doubt or wishful thinking can be all too powerful over logical reasoning at times. However, much like those who jumped on the tech bandwagon, I believe my dating bubble may have popped- at least temporarily.

Now, I am not saying that I am turning to women or the nunnery or do not want to date anymore . I am just saying that I am less optimistic than I used to be… which isn’t entirely negative.

First, a brief history. Since my last “official” boyfriend almost exactly one year ago, I have gone on countless dates with over 20 different guys (reminder, dates do not necessarily = sex). These are men of many age ranges, professions, races, geographic locations, etc. Only a handful have gotten a second date, and even fewer a third or fourth. Sometimes I can tell instantly that me and my subject are not a match- our sense of humor is not aligned, I find myself hoping he keeps his clothes on, he is in desperate need of cologne, or he is a bad kisser. Other times, it can take longer. Schedules can get in the way and out-of-sight, out-of-mind can take its toll.

Lately, however, my biggest obstacle has been my motivation, or more correctly, my lack of motivation. I blame this on two factors. 1. I do live a busy life and am pursuing many interests. Work, hobbies, friends, dating, and personal time are all important and I usually balance them well. Thus dating is not a number one priority nor are men always on my mind. 2. As feared, the men who I did became emotionally invested to who have flaked, changed, and disappointed have affected my ability to care. At this time in my life, I genuinely just do not care. As I said, the bubble has popped.

For example, I met an extremely attractive guy last Saturday at a club. He kept making eye contact with me and (since I am addicted to flirting) I did the same. He came up to me, we danced a bit, he asked for my number, and texted me the next day. Its been three days and the only time I thought about him was when I realized how out of character it was for me to not have thought about him at all. Even though he is probably a great person, I couldn’t care less if I ever talked to him again.

This has been happening to me a lot lately. Most every time I got out, I glance around and I am completely uninterested in sparking conversation with any guy. I’m not sure if this relates to my first ever blog post about Los Angeles Men or if it’s just me.

The most likely reason is that I enjoy my life too much right now to let a guy screw it up. I have better friends than I have ever had before, I live in a great location, I enjoy going to work every day, and have so many opportunities ahead of me. I am self sufficient. Things are looking promising. Sure I love the butterflies and excitement of “falling in love” but right now, the likelihood of disappointment seems greater. I fear the uncontrollable anxiety associated with having your feelings in someone else’s hands. I’ve found, at least at this point in my life, an average man’s attention is not worth risking my peace of mind.

So until Prince Charming sweeps me off my feet, Princess Cleo will stay an eligible bachellorette that is unwilling to settle.

I may be alone, but I am not lonely.

Love Overflowing,

Cleo

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2 Responses to "The Man Bubble"

If you can live in that moment, when you are completely content with who you call “friend”, with clear eyes and an open heart, then you are perfect. My heart too, is full Cleo.

I still miss ya kiddo.

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