Cleo's Dating Blog

Falling in Love

Posted on: January 16, 2011

Isn’t the idea nice?

It started with your parents saying “I will love you forever.”

How nice. What is better than love forever?

As time passes, then it becomes your turn,

Your turn to find your own love forever.

But along the way, you realize there is this persistent, lingering doubt.

Like a pit in your stomach, a steal weight in your chest.

Is a forever love existent for everyone?

Or anyone?

Would you be okay if it did not happen for you? Ever?

Or what if it did happen but you were lost in your own world?

It is so easy to get lost sometimes.

Well… that’s okay. Being lost can be fun.

But you know what isn’t fun? Being scared.

I’m scared that if I let myself love you, you will change me…

And then not even I will know who I am.

How could you love me if I don’t recognize myself?

It’s scary to think that you could make me more sad than I could make myself.

Or rather, that I could let you…

That I could give you permission, because I think that’s what you want.

You know what I want?

I want to be happy today with you and I want to be happy tomorrow without you.

But I mean that in the nicest of ways.

So I apologize for being guarded. I may be so forever.

<3,

Cleo

 

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