Cleo's Dating Blog

How to Be a Baller

Posted on: January 18, 2011

Despite any specific goals I may have for my life, my ultimate goal is to be a baller. The lucky thing about striving to be a baller is that it is something that any man or woman can successfully accomplish at any point in life. Being a baller is not measured by your physical possessions, your social status, or the size of your boobs. Rather, being a baller is determined by your attitude, the outlook you have on life and subsequently, how you chose to lead it.

This post is inspired by a lady I met the other day at one of my favorite places, Nic’s Martini Lounge in Beverly Hills.

Although I do not know her very well, she came across as a baller for many reasons- and often the most important thing is a first impression!

1. IndependentРHer demeanor radiated with independence. First of all, she was at the bar, by herself, drinking a beer. I think of myself as an independent person, but I have yet to go to bar alone (this may be the next thing on my to do list!). Secondly, instead of making the typical LA girl effort to look sexy, slutty, classy, rich, and bitchy at the same time, she was natural, approachable, and completely comfortable in her own (plastic-free) skin. Lovely.

2. Sociable– She did not delay in sparking a conversation. Instead of playing the all too common I-don’t-know-you-so-I-don’t-see-you card, she was quick to crack a joke, incur a laugh, and form an easy connection with another woman. Unique.

3. Successful– She was buying her own drinks. I am starting to realize that talking to some men is just not worth the free drink. Therefore, I definitely appreciate a woman that supports herself and is not looking for a man to take care of her.

4. Confident– She definitely had an I-am-me-and-I-don’t-care-if-you-like-me attitude. The tricky thing with this is that there is a fine line between confident and stuck-up. The reason she was not “stuck up” is that she was also a good listener and steered away from the I-am-me-and-you-suck-because-you’re-not attitude. It is challenging to be confident and likable, but a baller masters this well.

5. Care-free– By talking to her, it was easy to tell that she has a light-hearted outlook on life and is proactive in tackling challenges. No self-pity here.

6. Charismatic– Genuine charisma is contagious. Having a playful, fun-loving, charming, witty personality makes you memorable. I know I like being memorable.

It is a little silly how a random lady at a bar made such an impression on me and inspired me to keep striving to be a baller (could it have been my dirty martini??).

Regardless, here are some other things that classify someone’s lifestyle as ballin’:

– Balances being sexy with having morals and manners.

– Handles life’s challenges with maturity.

– Values relationships.

– Follows ethical standards.

– Is candid yet tasteful in words and actions.

– Has goals and is focused on attaining them (even if your goal is just to find some goals!).

– Is physically healthy.

What does being a baller in a relationship/dating look like?

1. A baller is never “waiting.” A baller does not wait to be approached, does not wait by the phone, does not wait for commitment, and does not wait for acceptance. If a baller wants something, she goes out and gets it. If that is not an option, a baller is content in today and focused on tomorrow. To me, “waiting” implies that there is a void, a need, or that something is missing. On the other hand, patience is where nothing is needed or missing- instead it is the essential time period before a new opportunity arises and baller embraces that time.

2. A baller is moving forward. Always improving, always learning. For a baller, there is no “out of my league.” Two ballers in a relationship are constantly bettering each other in healthy competition and support.

3. A baller accepts reality. Not all relationships will last, and that is more than okay.

A baller mindset is fun! It helps in acknowledging the good in life, the opportunities ahead, and aids in greater self-confidence. The only thing you can control in life is your attitude and how you react to the unpredictable.

Take care,



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