Cleo's Dating Blog

The Ultimate

Posted on: January 25, 2011

Living in Los Angeles, I would describe the ultimate goal in life of most inhabitants to be any combination of the following: fame, wealth, power, social stature, and/or eternal youth (in the form of plastic). Anything that can be displayed, publicly seen, and desired. To flaunt is to radiate with success.

I have never been the best at saying “no”- although I am getting much better!- and consequently,  I have always found that my open-minded, unstubborn attitude makes me more susceptible to peer pressure and being influenced by others. So, I would be lying if I said that living in Los Angeles has not partially shaped my life goals and what I hold important. I would love to be famous (for my blog, holla!),  have a lucrative profession, two houses in Europe, a hot bod, a hot hubby, and adopt a couple of kids from Africa named Pomegranate and Chandelier (joke… sorta, hehe). However, I will never pay a skinny, bald man thousands of dollars to carve my face, pretend to love a dude with a beachfront mansion and no personality, or be friends with women that only want to talk about Chanel or how little they eat. This much I know for sure.

I feel lame admitting this, but the most recent thing to influence my outlook on life was a movie- yes, a movie, something that rich people use to manipulate the public into making them more rich, actually changed my outlook on life.

I am no movie critique or cowgirl, but I loved Country Strong!! I am seriously thinking of packing up and moving to Tennessee for multiple reasons (well, maybe for one reason… men in cowboy hats). The movie did such a beautiful job illustrating both the utter pain and absolute euphoria that are existent in unrestricted love. It showed how powerless people are at the mercy of love’s thralls- for the good and the bad. Gweneth Paltrow’s dynamic character tore out my heart. A country superstar in the movie, you can see the inverse relationship between her career as a singer and her once loving marriage as the movie concludes that “love and fame can not live in the same place.” Her character advises the rising stars in the film, “Do not be afraid to fall in love. It is the only thing that matters. Fall in love with as many things as possible.” In the end, a life without love turns out to be a life not worth living, despite the diamonds, fans, and awards.

I like the idea of  “falling in love with as many things as possible.” How much more enriched would life be if you were in love with your job, your body, your lover, your clothes, your city, your morning mimosa, your friends, your memories, etc.? Aside from finding out what exactly each is for you, the hardest part must be letting your guard down enough to dive in. Often people get “stuck” in a job, relationship, or a town, and months or even years pass before anything is changed, if ever.

Watching the movie also made me realize how sappy I am- I probably cried for half the film! I try to put on this hard, LA shell everyday like I am a woman warrior and nothing affects me (which sometimes truly is the case), but today, I do not feel like it. Sometimes I like to let my marshmallow center have some stage time.

I try very hard to lead a busy, “productive” life (how do you even define productive?). I’m always on the run, thinking of the next big thing, doing a thousand tasks at once. The odd thing is, I often find myself very busy yet simultaneously bored out of my mind. Therefore, I tend to use flirting to fend off boredom. Why? Because 1. flirting is fun, easy and keeps me on my toes, and 2. it is when I am bored that I realize that I am indeed, lonely. Thus, I am indirectly afraid of boredom. If I could cut flirting out entirely and not be bored, I would in a heart beat. Although fun, I have realized that the moment the flirting session is complete, I am back to exactly where I started. No substance. No lasting effect. No change.

Yes, I want to be “successful” in a career and in a general life sense and I like having carefree fun and meeting new people- thus LA, is a fantastic place for me. However, I ultimately want to fall crazy in love and stay that way forever… If I had that, I wonder how much the other things would really matter. Being loyal and committed sounds nice. I have been asking my friends lately, “would you rather be destitute and in love or wealthy and not in love whatsoever?” Basically, would you rather live without love or without money? At this point in my life, I would definitely chose love (but I have yet to have my heart crushed). I find that most of us generally start out our lives believing in love then, after being hurt a few times and feeling “broken,” we switch to the f*ck-love,-I-just-want-to-be-rich-player mentality. I hope I never get there! I hope you never get there either. And it is that very reason why I have my LA-inspired shield up day-to-day. I would rather take a little longer finding love than being broken by the wrong one.

xoxo,

Cleo

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1 Response to "The Ultimate"

Thanks! You make some great points – I really appreciate your insight:

“would you rather be destitute and in love or wealthy and not in love whatsoever?”

Love for sure! Living a lie, even if you are successful at it, is still lonely – even the benefits will be empty eventually. The truth has a way of catching up to you (“you,” meaning anyone).

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