Cleo's Dating Blog

To Be, Or Not To Be

Posted on: March 15, 2011

This really is the most recent question I have been asking myself over and over again. I try not to give too much credit to the stars, but damn, I am such a Libra sometimes.

First, I just want to say that I am very sorry for not writing as often. I am going through a transitional, figure-my-sh*t-out phase in my life and it causes me to not have enough hours in the day for everything that I would like to do. But trust me, I think about you all the time. Good news is that things are going very well! For example, I am hoping to get some of my writing published internationally! Yet to be announced, but I will definitely keep you updated.

Anyway, back to “the question.” My current dilemma revolves around this idea: To be, or not to be… a player? There are many varied interpretations of the word player, i.e. man-eater, flirt, heart-breaker, whore, etc. Except for flirt, I do not want to be any of these things. By player, I simply mean a single gal who dates, whether often or not, and does not commit until committed to. The problem is that this is not necessarily what I want to do, but the Libra side of me is telling me that I must do this in order to achieve balance in my love life.

I find that I am extremely multidimensional. I constantly feel as though I have a cute angel on one shoulder and a sassy devil on the other and each is trying to dictate my decisions. The hard part is that both are charming, genuine, and make great arguments! Oh which side do I chose? Indecisive Libra has trouble picking one or the other.

Thus, I keep flip-flopping between the two. One day all I want is a loving, committed relationship and the next day I feel like living by the F*ck Love, Thug Life motto (shout out to my beezy!).

The angel side of me is ready for the challenge of a relationship- but only with the right person. The angel is ready to learn new things and to mature emotionally. She is not afraid of being vulnerable or the pain that comes with it. However, she is wise enough to know not to make the same mistake twice. She is smart in the risks she takes and very logical. The downside is that her complete selflessness often gets her mistreated.

So what happens when the uncontrollable aspects of life are applied? What should be done when what the angel wants is not an option? The innocence and purity of the angel usually means she has no back-up plan. She dives right in the deep end and hopes not to drown. Oh, it is always a risky ride when the angel takes control of my heart!

When the plan fails, this is when the flirtatious devil usually pounces. The devil has 15 back-up plans of all hair colors, body shapes, and income levels. The devil is always entertained- at least on the surface level. She is approachable, irresistible, and dangerous. Her eyes suck you in and her lips make you stay. The focus is no longer on the happiness of another, but faced inwards on personal pleasure and gain. Beware of her, she can be ruthless.

Living in LA makes being devilish easy. There are so many options and it is so easy to find a suitor wherever you go. As long as I can master ignoring the angel, being shallow, and living carefree, then I could have tons of fun! However, my ongoing battle illustrates that I am not as good at this as it appears to observers.

Thus, I am currently torn between living the easy, carefree life of a no-strings-attached LA single or continuing along the tumultuous journey of the hopeless romantic, love-hungry sweetheart. Since no definitive decisions have been made, right now I am trying to do both at the same time. I will let you know if I implode.

For now I think of this: If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it’s your forever. If it doesn’t, then it was never meant to be.

xxx,

Cleo

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3 Responses to "To Be, Or Not To Be"

[…] here: To Be, Or Not To Be « Cleopatra's Dating Blog This entry was posted in Dating and tagged dating, picture, quick-link, travel. Bookmark the […]

FLTL
love shows up when u least expect it.
be yourself, have fun, and keep it classy. dont worry about things that havnt happened yet.
keep it pimpin ;)

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