Cleo's Dating Blog

Working Out

Posted on: April 14, 2011

We all know that our physical appearance is important- if not for your health, at least for your sex appeal! Thus we go to the gym, we eat mixed greens instead of a bacon burger, we switch our ice cream to frozen yogurt, we get non-fat milk in our white chocolate mocha, and we check ourselves out in the mirror while poking at the jiggly spots.

Why is what we look like so important? Especially in Los Angeles, the land of aspiring models and actors, there is significant pressure to be attractive. Not only that, I find that I want all of my friends to be attractive to0 (which they are)! Sure, personality is important, but the way I screen men has also become increasingly more “looks-based.” If you look like you are carrying around your weekend binge nights on your body, please do something about it before talking to me.

The problem with becoming more picky is that the pool of candidates for dating goes way down. Its almost as if I have a grocery store scanner attached to my brain and I can instantaneously tell if I am attracted to you or not before you say one word. Factors considered include but are not exclusive too, the way you dress, how your body looks under your clothes, the way you carry yourself (i.e. the way you walk, sit, your body language), the way you smile, and your eye contact. If one of these is lacking or missing entirely, you may have no chance- even if you open your mouth and diamonds come out.

Let’s assume somehow this stage is passed. Next is conversation. Unfortunately from my experience, the pretty people are not so good at this step. Some of the most attractive guys I have ever dated or talked to have been so boring, uninteresting, and painfully immature that I would rather have a Polaroid of them than an actual conversation. You know it’s bad when you begin to think of escape routes mid-conversation instead of actually listening. Often, I think these men must not listen to me either. If they did, they would recognize my blank stare, glancing at my cell phone, and short responses as complete uninterest. Sadly, after a few repeated attempts at producing a decent connection, the shoulders, chest, and cheek bones lose their flare.

Therefore, we reach my point. Why do we spend so much time at the gym improving our bodies but so little time improving our personalities? This is one reason why I tell myself I will never date a “personal trainer.” Where is your spunk and your charm?? You may want to look like you did when you were 23, but you do not want to have the same personality!! It is good to think about who are and what you want to be. It is good to recognize your weaknesses and why you are insecure. It is good to grow, to mature, and to learn.

Please, do me a favor and do some personality exercises. My dating pool is looking dried out…  help me!

xx,

Cleo

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