Cleo's Dating Blog

The Appeal of Being Uninterested

Posted on: April 29, 2011

We all know men and women are wired differently and the struggle of learning to coexist with each other in peace, love, and harmony is the whole reason why my blog has any readers. Thank god! I love that you read my rambling.

The game of tug-of-war that we play in establishing control and determining the delicate balance of dominance and submission between each other has no universal blue print. We may never truly figure it out! However, even with all the crap and let-downs that come with dating, the mystery of it is undoubtedly exciting.

Here is a recent theory that I have confirmed with numerous men and women: men go crazy when you ignore them. Although it sounds similar to the tactic of playing hard to get, it is actually much different. Playing hard to get is a game- you do not say what you actually mean, act how you actually feel, or do what you actually want to. It is constricting, limiting, and no way to live a liberated life.

“Ignoring men” is much different. First, allow me to explain what I mean.

Generally, when a man first meets a woman, he thinks, “SEX.” On the other hand, when a woman meets a man, she thinks, “What is his relationship potential? Would he be good in bed? Does he act like this to other girls? Is he just saying that to get in my pants? Did he just check her out too? What kind of jeans are those? I wonder if I could do better? Is he balding already? Is he cuter than my ex?…” and the list goes on. However, once the initial meeting has passed and two beings begin to get to know each other romantically/intimately, the tables tend to turn where the woman is thinking, “He is amazing and I want to be with him,” while the man starts thinking “…” (essentially nothing).

Then the downward spiral continues until we are back to where we started… single and unattached.

How can we reverse these effects? Since women are mothering and nurturing, we often are relationship-minded. When we like something, we want more of it. We can easily adapt our needs to fit those of another and our natural instinct is to “cling”. Men tend to be more self-minded and less likely to embrace sacrifice. Sacrificing football Sunday, beers with the guys, Call of Duty marathon, and porn time is out of the question. Women often do not understand this.

I am guilty of this more times than Lindsay and violating her probation. I finally realize, after much trial and error, that the common denominator is me and I must be doing something ineffectively. Ding ding! I was not focused on myself enough. I was losing my power, my sexiness, and my charm by turning to someone else for happiness, approval, or entertainment. I was losing focus on my ultimate goals in life, what I want to accomplish, and how successful I want to be. Most of my thoughts should be about me, not someone else.

A focused, ambitious, independent woman is so sexy. Such a woman can appreciate a quality man and enjoy the benefits of intimacy, yet she is on a mission. She is busy and uninterested in distractions. This genuine thirst to reach her goals cannot be faked and comes from the most primal place within. It is a not a man she is after, but discovering her own potential to fulfill her life visions. She does not compromise her values for a man. She does not let a man determine how she feels about herself. She is confident beyond description- a goddess of fortitude. She has emotions but is not emotional. She does not need a new man in order to get over heart ache, she instead resorts back to her mission and her power within acts as the perfect remedy.

A woman like this does not mean to ignore men, it just happens. She inadvertently gives off a passionate energy of being unreachable that is so intriguing, men are unable to resist it.

I feel more and more like this every day and trust me, it is so fun! I am content will all areas of my life because I feel that I am on a path moving forward. Now, I notice that men who are always around do become less interesting yet, when they pull away, I become intrigued again. So it is quite possible that the theory works both ways. Being too available is just not as exciting. Do not become part of someone else’s routine. Things that are rare are more valuable, sought after, and prized. However, imitating something that is rare is worthless. Make sure your inner value comes from within yourself and from no one else. You will find that everything you need, you already have and everything you want is yours for the taking.



2 Responses to "The Appeal of Being Uninterested"

[…] rest is here: The Appeal of Being Uninterested « Cleopatra's Dating Blog This entry was posted in Dating and tagged all-know, rambling, struggle. Bookmark the permalink. […]

Love this mindset and have been urging a couple of girls I know to embrace it. Forget the men! They will come. Work on getting towards your best self. This is fantastic and I will be quoting it!

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