Cleo's Dating Blog

Does Real Love Exist?

Posted on: May 13, 2011

Lately, I really enjoy eating meals by myself. Breakfast at La Provence Patisserie, coffee at Starbucks, lunch at Mrs. Winston’s, dinner at Whole Foods, dessert at Yogurtland. Spending time with myself has become a priority and since making it a more regular occurrence, I have been having so many life revelations, moments of enlightenment, and periods of growth. I see crossroads in my life more clearly, recognize internal issues more easily, am more centered, and come up with solutions that make me feel confident, excited, and hopeful for the future.

Yesterday while in traffic (again), I began pondering the idea of love and its existence in my life and the world around me. Why, for the past few months, have couples on the street holding hands, anniversaries, PDA, love songs, and romantic comedies been grossing me out? I seriously get repulsed and think, “Wow, I do NOT want that. I am so NOT jealous. What a LIE that is. SUCKS to be them because that is going to hurt when it does not work out.” Can you say cynical??

If “cynical” were an inanimate object, I imagine it as black, sticky substance that clings to your clothes, skin, and hair, damaging everything that was beautiful and promising along the way. It’s ugly, undesirable, and infectious.

I had become cynical because I stopped believing that real love exists. The themes that marriage fails, men cheat, and love is an illusion are all around us. What led to this mindset? Getting hurt. Being hurt. Carrying hurt. Hurting others.

But then I realized, how can hurt exist if love does not? Is it possible to suffer or experience heart ache without first experiencing love?

If you never climb a ladder, you will never fall. If you never eat peanuts, you may never have an allergic reaction. If you never drink coffee, you may never feel awake. If you never leave Beverly Hills, you may think the whole world is shallow and fake. If you never challenge yourself, you may never grow.

Usually everyone is willing to try something once, and love is no different (except I do not see myself trying heroine). We have all tried to love another human being and 99% of us were heart broken. From here is where the real decision must be made. Do we decide that the heart ache is too much to bear ? Are we too afraid or weak to try again? Or instead do we decide to take the risk, knowing that nothing of great success was ever met without obstacles?

One of my new favorite quotes is: “Failure is the absence of effort, not results.”

There fore I have decided to believe that love is all around (sounds like a quote from Love Actually!). I feel love inside me while writing this. I feel love when eating lunch, when driving, and when chatting with my goddess friends. I feel happy knowing that I have love to give and that I am not afraid to get hurt again and again. However, to be honest, I do not think I am ready for real love. I’m growing too fast and learning too much everyday that I am way too selfish for love right now! But I definitely believe I will have that love story one day, although it may not be a fairy tale. I believe if you are willing to keep giving love than you will find more happiness that you could imagine. I believe the most important thing is loving yourself and those around you and that the rest will fall into place. Be brave!

All my love,

Cleo

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