Cleo's Dating Blog

Trying Too Hard

Posted on: February 2, 2012

If I had a reality show, we could all watch the clip from a few nights ago of that-guy-at-the-bar-that-was-trying-too-hard… even the valet people outside felt sorry for him.

For as long as I can remember, I have had a thing for bartenders. I’m not even sure why, but my friends could vouch that this is in fact, true. Therefore, if I have the opportunity to eat dinner at a restaurant’s bar as a hot man leans over me to set down my utensils and take my order, I jump on it. It’s much easier to flirt when bartender-man is stuck behind a counter and I can “accidentally” stare at him all night.

This week, my girlfriend and I go to a new place for dinner and there are two lovey bar stools available, as if my Libra stars aligned and reserved them for us. I asked the man to the left if the seat was taken, because I wanted to be polite.

“Yes,” he said. “I was saving it for you.”

Eeerk. Stop there. Now if Ryan Gosling or his look-a-like said this, then no problem! Sign me up for this chair next to you. However,  that was not at all the case and instead sleep-deprived, lanky, overly-eager man who was probably a mathlete in high school made googly eyes at me and I felt dirty.

Thus, I sat my body as far right on my chair as possible to create the greatest amount of distance between us and slightly turned my back to him.

“Are you an actress?” I hear coming from my left. My mind literally debates if the restaurant is loud enough to where I could pretend I did not hear him. Unfortunately, it is not.

“No.” I wanted to stop at that but felt bad and added, “why did you think that?” and a half smile.

He goes on to explain that I give off an actress vibe because I am proper and sit up straight. I say, “Hmmm, that’s interesting,” and I tell him that I am a writer. However, what I am actually thinking is, I wonder if he can tell that I’m praying he stops talking. I turn away as soon as there is a lull, pretending I am thirsty.

conversation diversion

Saved to breathe another moment of silence. Until…

“So what name can I look for online when you become famous?”

I now have to turn a complete 180 to face him, since I was leaning as far away as physically feasible. I strain my neck and tell him how I go by Cleo online (holla!).

Long story short, I avoid further conversation and could not help but wonder how nice to would be if his friend next to him had the balls to say, “hey man, you’re wasting your time. She’s not interested.”

Too often friends stay quiet when they should take a stand and speak out! If your boy is making a fool of himself, save him. Wouldn’t you want someone to do the same for you?

I know I definitely appreciate when my girlfriends warn me when I’m being too flirtatious! Sometimes in a social setting with a little liquid courage, the line between being playful and embarrassing can be a little blurry, at least for me.

There is a site floating around online called Comiingle, where you can help your friends with dating. This is the new way to approach dating online… kind of how unfriending someone on Facebook is the new way to stop dating someone without saying anything.

Comiingle is good because users can get a third, fourth, eighth, or twentieth opinion before having to go on that awkward blind date, meet that girl that used a picture from 10 years ago, or that guy that lied about his profession and income. Friends can also steer you clear of hazardous suitors.

Additionally, Comiingle gives you access to wing-men and wing-women! Despite my misfortune with bar stool neighbor, I was lucky that my girlfriend broke the ice with bartender-man and asked him his birthday so that we could figure out his zodiac sign (Cancer, btw). I was actually not going to spark conversation because I did not feel it was organic at the time and would have been forced. Thank goodness god invented wing-people to give us a shove in the right direction when we feel frozen.

Be a good friend and help your friends out with their dating woes when necessary, even when not asked. And use your resources! That is why Cleo, Comiingle, and all the other dating tools exist. We are here to help.

Mucho amor,

Cleonita

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