Cleo's Dating Blog

A Chip On My Heart, But Not On My Shoulder

Posted on: December 25, 2012

What is your passion?

Recently a man twice my age asked me on a date (I said no because gray is not my type, although a Clippers game did sound fun). He prefaced the proposal with this question, “What is your passion?”

As quite possibly the girliest-girl in the world, I naturally responded with, “love.” Of course this includes the love of a lover, but also the love of friends, family, work, the moment, nature, and self. If you were to ask me what I fell in love with most in 2012, it would be how much my patience has grown.

Granted, I still get frustrated and act out (especially when hungry) yet December 25, 2012 yields a person of an entirely different level of patience.

I have work goals, learning Spanish goals, traveling goals, yoga goals, entrepreneurship goals, and body image goals. These are activities I enjoy. However, without a deeper connection, these are just replaceable hobbies to pass the time. I look to give and receive love in all my activities because this is how I feel most fulfilled.

camel

Ironically this combination of seeking loving and having increased patience means I tend to stay in self-sacrificing situations longer than most would… possibly longer than is emotionally healthy at times, as well. I tend to give more than I receive. I tend to expect more than others are willing to give. I tend to give second chances on top of the previous five chances.

Why? Well if I could be a different way, I probably would. It seems easier to be impartial to things and to have a passion more simplistic, like cooking or horseback riding. These things give exactly what you put in. We all know love is a gamble, but none of us seem to know the odds!

I was born a romantic. I study my emotions. I find pleasure in digging deep down to the bottom corner of my heart in as many things as I can. This is where I house my ability to genuinely listen to you when you have a problem, ideas on how I can surprise you with something sweet, determination not to judge you until I know you, and warm energy every time I hug you.

Those who do not do the same often do not make sense to me. Why would you limit your sensations?

I am perplexed until I realize that the consequences can be painful! It is terrible when love is given and not returned or when love is misunderstood and discarded. Every time is a little chip on my heart.

Luckily, the heart need not always be in control. My mind tells me to keep going just as I am. To manifest faith in a sparkly tomorrow in order to keep the chips off my shoulder. To be grateful for Christmas Day with my family and for a promising 2013.

Maybe Santa will not unveil our soulmates today. Or maybe he will. And that is the beauty of an unknown future with endless possibilities.

Warm wishes and Happy Holidays,

Cleo

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10 Responses to "A Chip On My Heart, But Not On My Shoulder"

Ok but why not go to the Clipper game? I once turned down a gift of good season tickets in the Clippers’ first year and look what they’d be worth now.

Grey hair isn’t your thing? Granted he could be leering at you but he hasn’t suggested marriage (spoiler alert – Hef (86) marries Crystal (26) on New Years Eve). If he has season tickets he can pay for the “other stuff” and maybe he wants your charming company and rapier wit just for a few hours. Don’t piss on the older demographic – some of them are still sentient, continent beings! You are still on a steep learning and emotional curve – take all you can! Remember, the older ones are writing “Things I Did, or Think I Did” (moi) while you can write “Things I’ll Do, or Die Trying”

Erratum – that was paying someone Else–a consenting adult– for “the other stuff”

None of the grey beards care about the “others”, male or female – we like you and think your company is a gift.

I’ve noticed myself becoming more patient as I get older. It could also be me becoming set in my ways. I found in my 20s I was on a continuos lookout for a partner if I was single, and I’d be far more willing to overlook issues with disastrous consequences. Now in my mid 30s I’d much rather stay single than choose the wrong partner.

Hopefully I won’t miss out on the right one by becoming too stubborn…

Yes, I myself too, finding that as older I get, I know that getting a wrong partner is really bad and I’d rather stay alone then having a love but go to the sad ending, I scare of being hurted!

What a lovely blog. In matters of love, it’s important to not lose heart (pardon the pun) and to keep believing in the prospect of finding your soul mate. Never give up looking.

I really love reading and following your post as I find them extremely informative and interesting. This post is equally informative as well as interesting . Thank you for information you been putting on making your site such an interesting. I gave something for my information. I’ll be visiting your site again for reading.

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