Cleo's Dating Blog

Posts Tagged ‘adventures

Your level of cookie-cutterability may be determining your dating path.

A cookie-cutter person (as defined by Cleo) is:

1. A person that is very traditional with a high level of predictability. Usually, this type of person is average in many areas and seeks a life of security, simple pleasures, companionship, comfort, and flying under the radar. These are the people that are known to follow the rules and color inside the lines.

2. Someone that does not typically stand out in a crowd.

3. Can be used in a derogatory manner to describe someone that is not difficult to replace.

There is nothing wrong with a high level of cookie-cutterability. Look how delicious these replicated heart cookies are!

However, I have a theory:

Cookie-cutter people marry young and have longer, committed relationships at an earlier age.

When two cookie-cutter people find each other, they are satisfied. Since they have very reasonable life goals, such as becoming an accountant, buying a three-bedroom home, or starting a family, they are on track to achieving their plan from the beginning. There is not much consideration for pursuing radical dreams or changing the world. Cookie-cutter people have their own world and stay focused on daily life. Their stresses include grocery shopping, family reunions, the finale of X-Factor, making ends meet, puppy training, and taxes. There is also little internal debate relating to, “She is amazing, but I wonder if I could do better than her,” or “He loves me and takes care of me, but I just want to have fun.”

I believe most people are cookie-cutter. Most people live very realistic lives and try hard to minimize their risks. Many people of this mindset will hang on to a good girl when they find her or stay with the nice guy they have known since high school because he is safe. They are also known to stick with a job they do not like because it has good benefits or live in a city they do not identify with because they have already been there for many years and know their way around.

Cookie-cutter people are easy to settle down with.

However, some of us, especially those living in Los Angeles, are not cookie-cutter at all. I know I am not! I am more like a monkey cupcake…

In a city that fosters creativity, entrepreneurship, lavish lifestyles, glamour, and limitlessness, we are not afraid of risk, following dreams, perfecting ourselves, or looking for the best possible everything. Look at how many restaurants and plastic surgery clinics we have. Or look at how many types of yoga we offer, how many trends we set, or how many freeways we need!

We are crazy monkeys. We live outside the norm, we keep our options open, we are always searching for the best opportunities, and we strive for greatness. Don’t get me wrong, there are A LOT of horrible things about LA  and LA people, but we are innovative and we love challenging ourselves.

That is why I believe monkey-cupcake people often struggle at finding a love-match. How challenging it is to match a monkey in a world of heart-shaped cookies? Very difficult.

In the end, people buy the heart-shaped cookies. Sure, the monkeys are funny and cute to look at, but the cookies are safe and comfortable. You know exactly what you are getting and that your money is not going to waste. Who knows what the monkeys have beneath that layer of frosting?

So, for all you monkey-cupcake people out there, hang in there. One of these days the stars will align, the tree branches will part, and you will meet your monkey mate. Until then, if you are struggling with dating, just think that maybe this means you are unique, you stand out in a crowd, you take risks, and you paint pictures instead of color. You are not cookie-cutter. Greatness wouldn’t be greatness if it was common and easy to find.

Kisses,

Cleo

 

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I went to the J. Paul Getty Museum last Tuesday with next big music sensation, Aishah. The experience was amazing, to say the least.

Aishah and I. Chercher la femme.

I have always wanted to be one of those people who is referred to as, “cultured”… but have yet to succeed. I know very little about history, very little about art, and even less about art history! But what is life if you do not try something new??

Taking the tram from the parking lot to the museum entrance, I could not help but ponder about my tiny existence on this planet (but I have no problem with “tiny” and all the adjectives associated: skinny, slim, petite, cute, small).

Stepping onto the golden, marble steps of the museum, the first thing I noticed was the immediate change in atmosphere from the gridlock Wilshire boulevard below, to the light, airy, and nurturing energy of the Getty. Wandering aimless, we opened ourselves up to the opportunity of discovering new treasures, meeting new people, and gaining enlightenment. I encourage you to do this in all areas of your life.

We spent a lot of time at the Gods of Angkor exhibit, learning about the spirituality of other lessor-known, beautiful cultures. My favorite discovery here was the yogini’s, women whose role is to destroy ignorance throughout the universe.

We spent a lot of time annoying security guards into helping us find the infamous Getty Central Garden.

We spent a lot of time meditating with the gorgeous LA skyline in the horizon.

Aishah, before she became infamously known as the Goddess of Song.

Since I was a little girl, whenever I look at classical paintings, drawings, or other works of art, I have trouble understanding exactly what I am looking at and why it is so valuable. Wahoo, a framed drawing of lemons in a bowl! As I said, I am not very cultured.

Oddly enough, what I remember most about my Getty experience is exactly that which I did not understand at first. I can not stop thinking about the painting entitled The Doctor’s Visit, by Frans Van Mieris, 1667.

Initially, I looked at this oil painting and thought, “Why is this here? Why is this so spectacular?” I decided to open my mind. Reading the description, the painting is said to feature a woman who fainted and a doctor that came to examine her (and a vile of her urine). The diagnosis is that she is suffering from love-sickness.

Love-sickness?! Despite a gown and head garment that I would NOT be caught dead in, me, her, and the rest of the present and past world, have something in common. Love hurts! Heartache was considered just as serious an illness as the flu or small pox or syphilis (well, maybe almost as serious). No matter how much we as humans have evolved,  no matter how much of the rain forest we destroy, and no matter how many medical discoveries we make, heartache has and always will exist. It is an unavoidable aspect of living life.

I find that beautiful.

Thank you Getty, thank you Aishah, and thank you art for making me realize that, although this life I lead is unique to me, we ALL are connected through love, through pain, and through life.

I am so tiny!

Lots of love and some love-sickness,

Cleo

xx

What I Want

Posted on: June 27, 2011

A few days ago I had one of those, “what am I doing with my life?” types of days. Why do I sit in traffic on the 405, 10, and 110 freeways? Why do I spend 30 minutes looking for parking every time I go somewhere? Why do I listen to Ryan Seacrest on the radio? Why do I spend $14 on a cocktail? Why do I do all this without gaining a dime in my pocket?

These thoughts became so frustrating that I had to turn to venting in my kitten pocket journal. I was going to tackle the, “what do I want out of life?” question once and for all. As I sat at Berri’s Cafe by myself (love this place, btw!), I began to unravel the mystery of Cleo’s Dream Life.

1. What do I want? The answer to this question can either be simple or complex. I choose simple. I want to be happy, but not only that, I want to be the happiest person you know.

2. How do I become the happiest person you know? To answer this question, I have to think about all the happy people I know in order to see what they have in common. My ex-boss at the finance place is definitely one of them. The F&B director at the restaurant I work at is one. My little cousin is one. The blonde girl from my high school swim team. The round guy that works at the Starbucks across the street. My goddesses. My girlfriend that started her own kick*ss company. My friend’s roommate from Mexico. As I am creating this list however, I can not be 100% sure that any of these people are actually happy. The only way I can judge their level of happiness is by how I intuitively feel around them on a consistent basis, whether their eyes are happy more often than not, how frequently they laugh, and how they treat other people.

All of the people I mentioned have widely different financial statuses, live in different parts of the world, are of all ages, and range from married to single to everything in between. They are of all different zodiac signs, have extremely different professions, and some have a lot more chiseled abs than others. What is the conclusion?

1. Money does not make you happy.

2. A relationship does not make you happy.

3. Being a gym rat does not make you happy.

4. Living in LA does not make you happy.

5. Being a Taurus does not make you happy.

6. Your Gucci bag does not make you happy.

The common denominator between these happy people I mentioned and those I did not mention is not what they have in their life or what they do to fill up their time. What sets these few people apart from the rest is the outlook they choose to have on life, day in and day out. How happy you are is your own choice. You choose if you let that parking ticket ruin your day. You choose if you laugh at someone’s joke. You choose if you smile and if you genuinely mean it. You choose if you spend more money than you make. You choose if you walk with a spring in your step and your shoulders back. You choose whether you judge another person. You choose if you get jealous. Your outlook on life is all up to you.

This is an empowering concept.

Today I choose to do my best to have a happy outlook on all of my circumstances. I choose to declare that I am the happiest person you know, even though I may not be in reality… yet. I choose to pursue interests and people in my life that make me feel happy and supported. I choose to be as picky with my thoughts as I am with my food, my men, and my wardrobe. I choose to smile because it feels good (and everyone always tells me how pretty it is). I choose happiness because this means I will enjoy the journey of today as much as the arrival of tomorrow.

Luv,

Cleo

I find my mind rewriting my past.

Not out of regret,

but mostly out of curiousity,

and a little out of longing.

–//–

If my past had been different,

my today could be different.

I could be different,

More wise,

Less weak.

–//–

If my parents had only been less critical,

Maybe I would not have to work so hard at being confident.

If I had only picked better friends when I was young,

Maybe I would have known what being a Goddess felt like sooner.

If I had been less submissive and more tenatious,

Maybe I would know more about how to get what I want out of this life.

If I had spent less time partying and more time connecting,

Maybe I would have less friendships that fell through.

If I had been a better listener to myself,

Maybe I would have declared my life passions earlier.

–//–

Despite these thoughts,

Nothing could be better than this moment right NOW.

I am not broken, I am not scared, and I am ready for more.

Maybe things would be different today if I could rewrite the past.

but the chance to write the future supersedes all that.

xx,

C

I am two years out of college. Actualizing that in my mind is strange. It feels like it’s been ten, long, unpredictable, and eventful years (but I definitely don’t look that way, wink*).

Generally speaking, my college experience was probably similar to most. I was always surrounded by friends, always meeting new people, and always planning and looking forward to the next big get together. Most of my meals were eaten in groups, a week did not go by where someone did not crash on our couch, I never woke up to an empty apartment, and there was always someone willing to play beer pong with you, no matter what time of day. We studied together, watched Gossip Girl together, abused our livers together, and laughed together- always so much laughter. I never felt lonely, never felt bored (unless I was in class), and never had trouble finding someone to share a memory with.

Graduating and entering the working world was a harsh reality shake. Looking back on my life after college thus far, I struggled. Before I could say, “cheers, we graduated!”, I was working a 9-5 job, eating my meals alone, being bored out of my mind, and not making many new friends. I spent more time in my car by myself than I ever had before and had less motivation to be social than I had before. Hanging out was no longer spontaneous and had to be planned, being randomly hung over all day was now much more painful, and skipping work was not nearly as easy as skipping class.

Since I am very much a mind-over-matter type of gal, at the time, I refused to believe that I was not happy. It was not that I wanted to go back to the college years, I just missed that family feel. I have an old soul so I liked the idea of growing up, but I did not like the idea of not having a steady support group to share  it with.

On top of it all, single felt so much different than it used to! Single used to mean that I had too many options to choose from and was readily available for new ones at any moment. Now single felt like a synonym for lonely and a precursor to a spinster, old cat lady lifestyle.

As I said, it has been two years and I am only starting to adjust. However, I know I am not alone in this struggle. How? Because I see a lot more sad eyes in the working world than I ever did in college. I believe many people are struggling at this very moment, but without a known solution, we learn to deal with it instead of change it.

In college things just happen and outside factors are constantly pushing us forward. We flow to this party, drink too much, then flow home… the next day. We attend class, are told exactly what to do, do it, and then repeat. Our four years are planned in advance down to the very hour, we have a good idea what life will be like in the next few months, and we are not concerned with being unemployed or not having health insurance. As long as there is Plan B then there is nothing to worry about! (totally joking)…

In post college life, there is no set path. Anything could happen or nothing could happen and it is all up to you. It is up to you if you have a job. It is up to you if you stay in a job you don’t like of if you choose to pursue a job you do like. It is up to you to set your own goals, challenge yourself, and keep learning. It is up to you where you live, how much money you save, and who you chose to spend time with. It is up to you to put the effort into meeting new people, maintaining relationships, and creating a network of like-minded people. It is up to you if you chose to feel lonely or do something to change that.

There is no blueprint or case study. No one’s path will mirror your own. Nothing is guaranteed. So how are we supposed to know what to do?

Stay true to yourself and follow your intuition. Figure out what is important to you, and go after it zealously. Don’t get comfortable with mediocre. Cut yourself slack… if you are not making mistakes, then you are not trying.

I have made large changes in my life recently. For example, I quit a steady job to pursue writing, am selecitvely choosing a fantastic group of goddesses to surround myself with, have decided to be nothing but myself in every situation (especially with men!), and have made up my mind to fight for what I want (assuming I figure out what that is).

Although the future is unstable, deep down I feel a sense of peace knowing that I am not taking life lightly. Even on days when June gloom makes it hard to get out of bed, I feel my savings account slowly dwindling, and my love life looks like a huge zero on paper, I know I am growing and heading somewhere positive.

Growing up is hard! But if we do it together as a collective group of unique  individuals, it really can be exciting to realize how much power you have on the outcome of your life.

Luvy,

Cleo xx

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here is a poem I edited for a friend, aka Poison. Collaboration leads to beautiful things.

–//–

Life is not without intense difficulty and tribulation,
But understanding emotion is the most painful of all.
Love and anger are what make the world turn.
In love is the possibility of deep pain,
yet without love, there is deep anger!
Ultimately,
there is no way but forward.
There is no going back,
there is no stopping time.
When we reflect on the past,
we try to give emotion to life.
Yet are these emotions even real or justified?
Life may be painful,
but at least it is consistent.

My writing has been published on another site, yay! Lucky for those of you who know my true identity, read away if you like…

http://www.networktalentcommunity.com/articles/_/wealth/

Love,

Cleo