Cleo's Dating Blog

Posts Tagged ‘alcohol

They say that your 20’s is when you go through a lot of changes. Some get married and have children, others learn independence and strength through living alone. As a participant of the latter, I for one am pleased with my arrival at age 25.

When I think back to my early 20’s, I can vividly remember how frustrated I used to get when driving in traffic. Everyday I would literally picture myself with a sharp knife repeatedly stabbing someone in the chest (not that I would actually do it!). I hated everyone on the road and their stupid bumper stickers.

With age, I have learned some patience. I accept traffic as part of my life and remain calm as a result. I know to take the necessary precautions beforehand- have a snack, grab some coffee, pee before leaving- so that my frustration does not escalate to where I am no longer in control.

My friends now may not agree because they did not know the “college me”, but I have also (slowly) learned to limit my alcohol consumption. School was a time when I did not drink to be social, I drank to be wasted. Transitioning to a time in my life where that is no longer the norm has been a challenge. However, after the fiasco of my 25th birthday and the miserable day following, the need to be completely out of control has ran away with my dignity. Good thing I have the rest of my 20’s to find it!

Consequently, my slightly higher level of coherence has made me more aware of the beauty around me. When is the last time you appreciated the warmth of the sun on your face? Do you take an extra moment to fully enjoy a hug from a good friend?

I spent this past weekend in Santa Barbara and it was as though the beauty of life slapped me across the face. “Wake up and realize how gorgeous your life is!” she said. Boohoo if you’re single and you’re starting to get those tiny little veins on your legs from standing too much. Those are minuscule details compared to all of your other blessings.

It is easy to get caught up in schedules, budgeting, career paths, boyfriends, and weight management. Until you open your eyes and see how beautiful this frickin tree is…

You do not have to start being annoyingly optimistic, but curbing the complaining would not hurt either. The only secret to living is to enjoy the moment found within right now and using the senses that God gave you to be stimulated. Feel the wind, anxious butterflies, and crazy love.

Although a challenge everyday, I am taking life for what it is (gorgeous) and dating for what it is (kinda sucky), but being grateful that I am exactly where I am meant to be today. The future is still going to happen and I need not worry.

Speaking of today, Happy Halloween and I look forward to seeing all the slutty pictures on Facebook tomorrow.

Be safe and go easy on the sweets,

Cleo

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One of my favorite past times is sweating. I love when I workout so hard that the sweat stings my eyes and drips into mouth and my shirt clings to my lower back like a sponge. This is purity in its highest form (second to abstinence, of course).

I have been cross-training and interval training for years. Intensity is a word that runs through my mind every time, whether or not I actually push to that level. What keeps me going when my body is hurting is the thought that I probably will not die, even though I feel like it.

Lately I have started to wonder, can your workout mentality leak into other areas of your life?

My theory is: yes.

Much like my exercise regimen, there are times that I tend to “go all out” in my love life and my work life. As if I only have 15 seconds left of spilt-squat jumps, I dig deep for that extra bit of patience, sweetness, ambition, discipline, compassion, or control until even my bones hurt. I ignore the pain and I keep plowing forward. I tell myself that I am not actually going to die.

Sometimes this is good. We all know that getting out of your comfort zone is the only way to accelerate growth.

However, sometimes this is bad. If we push too far past our limit we may sprain our ankle or dislocate our shoulder, in the emotional sense. This can be illustrated by the times when we try to make others jealous on purpose, get too drunk and make inappropriate phone calls, completely lose our sense of judgement, lash out in anger, get moody, get anxious and cry, stir the drama pot, or anything else that could get you casted on a Reality TV show.

Although I may be addicted to that climactic feeling when you finally reach the top of that steep hill in spin class, pushing this hard in your personal life is not sustainable. What is better is to remain consistent.

Taking steps toward your career goals or finding the love of your life is more similar to running a marathon than doing single-leg blurpies. Being ready and then giving up and then being ready and then giving up again is not healthy for any party involved. That is why going slow is always better. Give your endurance some time to build. Let things flow naturally like a pleasant dance and do less forcing.

September will be the month of casting my cares. Will you join me?

Namaste,

Cleo

 

Whenever a man/boy/guy/gentleman/dude/douche offers to buy me something, there is always a little voice in the back of my mind that asks, “What will he require in return for this?”

Depending on how well I know the person and what the size of the gesture means to him, I will deduce an appropriate response.

For example, if a poor actor friend offers to take me to a fancy dinner, then I will take that as a grand gesture. On the flip side, if a super wealthy man offers to give me jewels and buy me designer clothes, I will take this as a medium, not-so-serious gesture and if a middle-class guy offers to get me Yogurtland, I will take this as a small gesture. (Offers are real and not fabricated.) Also, a good friend or coworker may not be thinking “SEX” if he buys me some drinks during a night out, but a stranger most likely will be. All of these factors influence my decisions.

Regardless, and I think I speak for most women, the following list are 10 things that women have the hardest time saying “No” to:

10. Would you like some cheesecake? My treat.

9. Would you like to skip the line and enter [insert venue name]  for free?

8. Would you like another skinny-girl margarita?

7. Would you like to go shopping and take my credit card?

6. Would you like me to talk about why all of the other girls around are not as pretty as you are?

5. Would you like some more bread? You are too skinny.

4. Would you like to watch a Ryan Gosling movie?

3. May I Instagram this photo of you and your friends?

2. Would you like to see other people while I patiently wait for you and only you?

1. May I please go down on you? ;)

Be careful of men that abuse our weaknesses! But giving in every once in awhile can be oh so much fun.

Have a playful weekend,

Cleo

I grew up as an athlete and still carry the same “hard-core” mentality to this day. I do not claim to sit at the top of the bad-ass pyramid, however I dabble in my fair share of physical challenges and can keep up with some of the best.

Despite the half-marathons, ocean swims, and Equinox circuit workouts, the concept of a Mud Run has always interested me. What is not fun about getting dirty and tackling people? Or maybe hiking a mountain would be fun (but only with a guarantee of zero snake encounters). I have other friends that enjoy rock climbing, riding motorcycles, running ultramarathons, or going on wacky juice diets.

As much as I understand the appeal of a good challenge, I can not help but wonder if maybe we are all crazy. Life is already one huge obstacle course! What sense is there in adding MORE?

Living in LA has many challenges of its own. I plan my schedule around rush hour traffic, know that discovering street parking is close to a miracle, find that most people are rude unless trying to get something out of you, frequenting trendy bars and restaurants gets pricey, and most of the hottest men are gay.

Sculpting the body you want is a challenge. Getting over your first love is a challenge. Smiling while at work is a challenge. Being an entrepreneur is a challenge.

Not to mention that DATING is one huge challenge.

So why do we even try? Why don’t we all just eat brown rice and chicken, walk around the block, watch TV, and live alone forever?

Oprah would not accept this of you. This is not living! Being safe and mechanical is a waste of your amazing human brain.

So I am going to stop watching the Mud Run of Love from the sidelines. I am going to stop running circles on the treadmill of the same men. (Can I get an amen?) I am coming out of my dating comma even if that means I need to start online dating, hitting on guys at the gym, burning incense, or praying.

I am currently accepting blind date proposals from trusted sources.

Good luck to you!

Cleo

Follow me on Instagram! @cleoheartsyou

Don’t let alcohol make you an accidental mommy. Happy belated Mother’s Day! x

Luv,

Cleo

Dry spells are not all bad. Although voluntary dry spells are better than involuntary, we can learn valuable lessons from abstinence.

Testing our willpower shows us our weaknesses. How long could you really go without it? Can you stand your ground even if you can see, feel, and smell the temptation?

There was a time when I had to have it multiple times a week, not because of need so much as of habit. If a guy was not willing to give it to me, I was even willing to pay for it myself!

So, in January, I decided to take one month off. I honestly thought I would only be able to last one week. Unless I locked myself in my house, I assumed the temptations would be too high, accessibility too easy, and my willpower too weak.

However, today marks three weeks of Cleo saying, “no, thank you” to what normally was an automatic, “yes.”

I have almost reached my goal of one month of no… alcohol!!

The best part of this whole experience is that I still know how to have a good time without the influence of delicious cocktails. Although I am looking forward to my next dirty martini, its reassuring to know that fun and drinking are not synonymous.

The other great things include:

1. I do a lot less things I regret the next day.

2. I do not experience hang overs, extreme dehydration, or feeling bloated.

3. I spend less money.

4. I am a cheaper date (not that I am going on any…).

5. My friends appreciate me being the DD.

The downsides are:

1. I crave wine.

2. It is more challenging to be social, especially around other people that are drinking.

3. I am eating more food to compensate.

4. I think some people are avoiding me because generally, water drinkers are not as much fun.

5. I do not feel as comfortable dancing as slutty as I would like.

guilty pleasure

All in all, I find it is important to challenge your habits and do something new. I am trying to think of my new endeavor, so if you have an idea for me, let me know!

one week until cheers,

Cleo