Cleo's Dating Blog

Posts Tagged ‘confidence

One of my favorite past times is sweating. I love when I workout so hard that the sweat stings my eyes and drips into mouth and my shirt clings to my lower back like a sponge. This is purity in its highest form (second to abstinence, of course).

I have been cross-training and interval training for years. Intensity is a word that runs through my mind every time, whether or not I actually push to that level. What keeps me going when my body is hurting is the thought that I probably will not die, even though I feel like it.

Lately I have started to wonder, can your workout mentality leak into other areas of your life?

My theory is: yes.

Much like my exercise regimen, there are times that I tend to “go all out” in my love life and my work life. As if I only have 15 seconds left of spilt-squat jumps, I dig deep for that extra bit of patience, sweetness, ambition, discipline, compassion, or control until even my bones hurt. I ignore the pain and I keep plowing forward. I tell myself that I am not actually going to die.

Sometimes this is good. We all know that getting out of your comfort zone is the only way to accelerate growth.

However, sometimes this is bad. If we push too far past our limit we may sprain our ankle or dislocate our shoulder, in the emotional sense. This can be illustrated by the times when we try to make others jealous on purpose, get too drunk and make inappropriate phone calls, completely lose our sense of judgement, lash out in anger, get moody, get anxious and cry, stir the drama pot, or anything else that could get you casted on a Reality TV show.

Although I may be addicted to that climactic feeling when you finally reach the top of that steep hill in spin class, pushing this hard in your personal life is not sustainable. What is better is to remain consistent.

Taking steps toward your career goals or finding the love of your life is more similar to running a marathon than doing single-leg blurpies. Being ready and then giving up and then being ready and then giving up again is not healthy for any party involved. That is why going slow is always better. Give your endurance some time to build. Let things flow naturally like a pleasant dance and do less forcing.

September will be the month of casting my cares. Will you join me?

Namaste,

Cleo

 

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I really like pumpkin pie and banana cream pie. I’m not too into apple pie or pecan pie.

Regardless, I am always sad when my dessert of choice is gone. The sweetness never lasts long enough! I am not ashamed of licking my plate.

Even sharing dessert can sometimes be challenging for me. It is a hard life that I lead.

Whether or not you share in the same struggle of mastering your sweet tooth as I do, we are all lucky that things like beauty and success do not come in pie form. Otherwise Ashton Kutcher and the Olsen Twins would rule the world.

Many people act like they do not realize this to be true. I find that I have fewer and fewer friends because so many girls get catty and judgmental and so many people in general would rather see you fail and struggle then succeed.  As a newbie to the world of entrepreneurship, one of the rules of growth is to be careful with whom you share your ideas with. Haters bring negativity and no one taking a risk needs any extra doses of doubt.

Beautiful women are often harsh with other beautiful women because of competition. The fight for attention, perks, stature, or the feeling of self-worth fuel the seeds of jealousy and contempt. But let’s be honest ladies, it is not the other beautiful face that is making you look bad, it is your attitude.

The world would be a sweeter place if we could all remember that the best things in life are not limited by a pie sheet. There is a limitless amount of beauty, strength, charisma, and love to go around. I prefer to surround myself with the best of the best because it inspires me to be more tomorrow than what I am today. The narrow-minded can stay home.

If your thoughts are limited to a 12 inch circle, it is not too late to break free. When you do, you can join my club.

Yours Truly,

Cleo

As far as I understand, when something does not fit well, you have two choices: shove it in OR give up. I tend to practice both philosophies in my life, mostly out of curiosity.

Sometimes you meet a cute boy and he asks for your phone number. It is new and exciting until he decides to text you for the first time at 3am saying, “Wanna make out?”. Square peg may not even be screwed in properly.

Other times you meet an average looking boy and he surprises you with wit and charm. You have lots of fun together and special exchanges of butterflies. Then you start to think that maybe what you wanted was a triangular peg after all.

You can change your mind all you want, but a triangle is not comfortable inside a circle.

Sometimes you can find bedazzled square pegs. These fancy ones are fun to keep around for entertainment purposes but does not necessarily make them fit better.

Other times you meet square pegs with round edges and it’s such a close match! Attraction, conversation, and availability. Yet something is missing that you can not explain.

And then one day you do find a circle peg! What a rush.

But sometimes the circle peg is not done meeting square holes.

And the cycle begins again.

The good thing is that this time you know how to recognize a circle from a square and you know that trying to make a square fit or trying to make a triangle appealing is just effort without results.

If you are really lucky, then you now also have the experience to realize that all these pegs can not do anything to change your shape, what fits you best, and what you deserve.

To summer flings and more,

Cleo

 

 

I went to Whole Foods last night to get chicken noodle soup for my cute, little, sicky roommate. What was left was mostly broth so I played the damsel-in-distress card and asked them for a fresh batch. To my surprise, it comes pre-made! No wonder the recipe never took my breath away.

As I struggled to scoop the excessively long noodles out of the metal tin with a spoon (impossible!), my eyes gazed up and locked with Mr. Whole Foods Employee. Dark hair, dark eyes. Just how I like it! I could feel him focus on me from across the counter. Even though I was not sure why since I had wet hair and was wearing my least best outfit of the week and even though I am not typically attracted to the staff of grocery stores, I decided to ignore those thoughts and embrace the mutual energy.

Continuing to splash noodles all over myself, I turn to notice that dark-eyes has moved from the opposite end of the counter to the side closest to me. How ironic. As he helps an older woman wearing a fuchsia sweater, he strategically drops an empty sample cup right next to my foot. I smile, pick it up for him, and as our hands touch there was a spontaneous lightening storm inside the store. He says, “thank you” and I turn away.

Here comes the point when a decision must be made. Do I push through the initial moment of contact and progress to the next level or do I let it sweetly linger to be potentially continued later?

I went through a phase last year when I always pushed forward. I considered it “being brave”, and it was. I took risks and rushed moments. I tried to rapidly propel the growth of feelings and attraction.

Although a whirlwind of excitement, there is something to be said of interactions that progress organically. Taking one sweet moment at a time extends the life of each and we all know that these moments tend to be few and far between. The risk here is that a future encounter is not guaranteed.

Last night I chose organic. Small steps. Nothing may ever happen, but today my spirits are just slightly higher.

Often we try to create what we want out of something before it is ready. We lose some patience because we are all so anxious to get our hands around our dreams. I am totally guilty of this more times than I realize.

How organic are you? How much do you let life lead you?

Sometimes the best thing we can do is to just enjoy the ride.

Turns out that the most organic thing at Whole Foods is the staff.

Sincerely yours,

Cleo

People say this to me often.

“Why don’t you have a boyfriend?” What tends to follow is, “Just lower your standards a little.”

If I could lower my standards and be happy, don’t you think that I would just do it already? It’s not like I am trying to win a contest of who can stay single the longest. I would love to have someone that could watch movies with me and play with my hair.

For those of you that have known me for many years, you know that I have not always had high standards. I used to have lots of boyfriends because I would only look for a few, key qualities and ignore the rest. Usually if a guy was nice and treated me well, then that was enough.

My ability to ignore things has drastically decreased. I can no longer date men that play video games all day, drink themselves to a mushy physique, smell bad, have yellow teeth, embarrass themselves in public, cry a lot, dress like it’s still the 90’s, smoke a lot of “medicine”, have a different personality around friends, have small hands, do not like to cuddle, think driving really fast is cool, have a dry sense of humor, or have nothing interesting to say (these are all true).

I have lowered my standards before, but having the wrong boyfriend is worse than being single and lonely. When single, I spend my time thinking of ways to improve my life. Although occasionally rough for a person like me that loves companionship and the idea of love, at least I know I am improving. When I do not fully adore my boyfriend, my time is spent trying to convince myself that I am happy or that I have enough patience…or else I am thinking of the most strategic ways in which to end the relationship. Sad, I know.

I guess I am at that annoying stage in my life that middle-aged people always tell me to cherish. “I wish I had enjoyed my 20’s more!” Alright, but your 20’s kind of suck when you have no proven career, no authority in the workplace, no family, no money, no beach house, no swimming pool in your backyard, no nanny, and so many distractions. The opportunities are beautiful and boundless, but it is such a waiting game to see which ones will flourish and which ones will crash. One step at a time and hopefully 30 years from now I won’t regret anything major…

Chat soon,

Cleo

 

Sometimes I feel like a big Loser (note the capital letter).

I get caught up in country songs and try to apply them to my life. I want a Prince Charming of my own and I want him to have a big “horse.” I believe you could love me because I am the perfect mix of spicy and sweet. I give second and eighth chances because some people just need more time. And I really mean it when I say I miss you, so it extra sucks when you do not feel the same way.

I feel like a loser because so far my track record is full of endings! Oops! I look forward to things like napping, chai tea lattes, and a good cry. L-O-S-E-R.

But when I look at myself in the mirror, all those feelings melt away. And then it all comes rushing back to me and I remember how smart and successful and fun I am. So obviously I am not the loser, all those other men are!

For some reason I have never been afraid of the “L” (as in Love) word. If it is something I feel, then I am more afraid of not saying it. I can usually handle the rejection because I have so much love to give that my love now is most likely not my last. Unfortunately most people are not this way, so I guess I am a little bit scary! Loser times two.

However, I can not help but wonder if maybe I am just dating the wrong gender. I am pretty sure that my expressions of love and sweet gestures would sweep any lady off of her feet and we could listen to Brad Paisley together and buy “horses” together and talk about feelings and menstruation.

So maybe I am just a Loser because I am not in Love with a Lesbian?

(As a side note, I am fully aware that this post may scare off all men and I am okay with that.)

Do not stop fighting for love ladies and gents because if you do, my chances of finding it are much lower.

Thank you,

Cleo

I spend more time with myself that anyone else. In getting to know me, I have learned that I am a naturally happy person that instinctively reacts negatively to most everything.

I am not sure exactly why this is. I may have been conditioned this way as a child or maybe a strand of my dna is wired differently. Nonetheless, my fulcrum is heavily skewed to the negative despite my inability to wipe this smile off my face. Quite a strange combination.

I am not good at accepting compliments. I tend to think that most people are not genuine and/or have a secret agenda.

I believe most people want to see me fail.

Although actions may speak louder than words, actions alone are not enough to convince me of anything.

I have little faith in life running according to plan (so I try not to plan).

I believe that unhappy people are common and hurt other people, whether intentional or not.

The majority of people do not know themselves well enough.

I do not believe that all my dreams will come true.

I have to look really hard to see love around me.

Criticism resonates with me much more than encouragement.

Pain can scare anyone and people’s actions when scared are often unpredictable. However, those who do nothing that scares them are not people I am interested in knowing.

When you hurt me or make me angry, I want to slap you with my concise vocabulary and way of speaking. I want to make you immediately regret messing with me. I want to boss you around and make you submit.

The strange thing about all this is that it is just perspective. None of this is fact or justifiable as truth. Is it possible that I want to see the bad?

I would be interested in knowing what the grass is like on the other side. What does it feel like to naturally react positively? Sounds like it would take a lot of effort, but if your perspective can change your outcome, it may be worth it after all.

Rainbows, unicorns, true love, mariposas,and calorie-free,

Cleo