Cleo's Dating Blog

Posts Tagged ‘Dating

I went to Whole Foods last night to get chicken noodle soup for my cute, little, sicky roommate. What was left was mostly broth so I played the damsel-in-distress card and asked them for a fresh batch. To my surprise, it comes pre-made! No wonder the recipe never took my breath away.

As I struggled to scoop the excessively long noodles out of the metal tin with a spoon (impossible!), my eyes gazed up and locked with Mr. Whole Foods Employee. Dark hair, dark eyes. Just how I like it! I could feel him focus on me from across the counter. Even though I was not sure why since I had wet hair and was wearing my least best outfit of the week and even though I am not typically attracted to the staff of grocery stores, I decided to ignore those thoughts and embrace the mutual energy.

Continuing to splash noodles all over myself, I turn to notice that dark-eyes has moved from the opposite end of the counter to the side closest to me. How ironic. As he helps an older woman wearing a fuchsia sweater, he strategically drops an empty sample cup right next to my foot. I smile, pick it up for him, and as our hands touch there was a spontaneous lightening storm inside the store. He says, “thank you” and I turn away.

Here comes the point when a decision must be made. Do I push through the initial moment of contact and progress to the next level or do I let it sweetly linger to be potentially continued later?

I went through a phase last year when I always pushed forward. I considered it “being brave”, and it was. I took risks and rushed moments. I tried to rapidly propel the growth of feelings and attraction.

Although a whirlwind of excitement, there is something to be said of interactions that progress organically. Taking one sweet moment at a time extends the life of each and we all know that these moments tend to be few and far between. The risk here is that a future encounter is not guaranteed.

Last night I chose organic. Small steps. Nothing may ever happen, but today my spirits are just slightly higher.

Often we try to create what we want out of something before it is ready. We lose some patience because we are all so anxious to get our hands around our dreams. I am totally guilty of this more times than I realize.

How organic are you? How much do you let life lead you?

Sometimes the best thing we can do is to just enjoy the ride.

Turns out that the most organic thing at Whole Foods is the staff.

Sincerely yours,

Cleo

People say this to me often.

“Why don’t you have a boyfriend?” What tends to follow is, “Just lower your standards a little.”

If I could lower my standards and be happy, don’t you think that I would just do it already? It’s not like I am trying to win a contest of who can stay single the longest. I would love to have someone that could watch movies with me and play with my hair.

For those of you that have known me for many years, you know that I have not always had high standards. I used to have lots of boyfriends because I would only look for a few, key qualities and ignore the rest. Usually if a guy was nice and treated me well, then that was enough.

My ability to ignore things has drastically decreased. I can no longer date men that play video games all day, drink themselves to a mushy physique, smell bad, have yellow teeth, embarrass themselves in public, cry a lot, dress like it’s still the 90’s, smoke a lot of “medicine”, have a different personality around friends, have small hands, do not like to cuddle, think driving really fast is cool, have a dry sense of humor, or have nothing interesting to say (these are all true).

I have lowered my standards before, but having the wrong boyfriend is worse than being single and lonely. When single, I spend my time thinking of ways to improve my life. Although occasionally rough for a person like me that loves companionship and the idea of love, at least I know I am improving. When I do not fully adore my boyfriend, my time is spent trying to convince myself that I am happy or that I have enough patience…or else I am thinking of the most strategic ways in which to end the relationship. Sad, I know.

I guess I am at that annoying stage in my life that middle-aged people always tell me to cherish. “I wish I had enjoyed my 20’s more!” Alright, but your 20’s kind of suck when you have no proven career, no authority in the workplace, no family, no money, no beach house, no swimming pool in your backyard, no nanny, and so many distractions. The opportunities are beautiful and boundless, but it is such a waiting game to see which ones will flourish and which ones will crash. One step at a time and hopefully 30 years from now I won’t regret anything major…

Chat soon,

Cleo

 

One of my best friends always supports me no matter what I do. If I want to drunk text, she supports me. If I want to eat a hamburger, she supports me while also participating. If I want a spray tan, she supports me. If I want to throw a singles mixer without any experience, she supports me. If I want to curl up in a ball and cry or if I want to dance on a pole, she supports me.

Much like cheesecake, if something yummy is in front of me, then I am going to eat it up until there is nothing left. I love support! My ego smiles.

I have other friends that tell it like it is (or as they see it). If it was socially acceptable, they would probably slap me across the face for all the times I let my emotions and fantasies of love get the better of me. They tell me when I am thinking too much, when I need to move on, when I say stupid things, or when my dress is too tight. They tell me when a guy is not into me when all I want to do is make excuses for him. These friends also play devil’s advocate on my business ideas and ask questions that make me sweat (hypothetically… girls don’t sweat).

These friends are the protein powder of my life. My ego does not crave or actively enjoy this treatment, but it is necessary for me to grow strong life, love, and dating muscles.

Most of my friends, however, just feel my pain and share in my joy. They are the staple, margarita pizza of my life.

Too much of one or too little of the other, and I would be a crazy mess… even more than I already am! The binge and purge method is not healthy. Having a well balanced support system and wide spectrum of opinions creates a good life diet. Cosmopolitan Magazine and horoscope compatibility charts do not have all the answers, as much as I love both strategies. However, if you are going to heavily rely on one source, Cleo is probably your best bet.

If you are open-minded to different ways of thinking and willing to adjust some of your old habits, then you may discover the ancient tradition of maturation.

Goddess Love,

Cleo

 

I grew up as an athlete and still carry the same “hard-core” mentality to this day. I do not claim to sit at the top of the bad-ass pyramid, however I dabble in my fair share of physical challenges and can keep up with some of the best.

Despite the half-marathons, ocean swims, and Equinox circuit workouts, the concept of a Mud Run has always interested me. What is not fun about getting dirty and tackling people? Or maybe hiking a mountain would be fun (but only with a guarantee of zero snake encounters). I have other friends that enjoy rock climbing, riding motorcycles, running ultramarathons, or going on wacky juice diets.

As much as I understand the appeal of a good challenge, I can not help but wonder if maybe we are all crazy. Life is already one huge obstacle course! What sense is there in adding MORE?

Living in LA has many challenges of its own. I plan my schedule around rush hour traffic, know that discovering street parking is close to a miracle, find that most people are rude unless trying to get something out of you, frequenting trendy bars and restaurants gets pricey, and most of the hottest men are gay.

Sculpting the body you want is a challenge. Getting over your first love is a challenge. Smiling while at work is a challenge. Being an entrepreneur is a challenge.

Not to mention that DATING is one huge challenge.

So why do we even try? Why don’t we all just eat brown rice and chicken, walk around the block, watch TV, and live alone forever?

Oprah would not accept this of you. This is not living! Being safe and mechanical is a waste of your amazing human brain.

So I am going to stop watching the Mud Run of Love from the sidelines. I am going to stop running circles on the treadmill of the same men. (Can I get an amen?) I am coming out of my dating comma even if that means I need to start online dating, hitting on guys at the gym, burning incense, or praying.

I am currently accepting blind date proposals from trusted sources.

Good luck to you!

Cleo

Follow me on Instagram! @cleoheartsyou

Sometimes I feel like a big Loser (note the capital letter).

I get caught up in country songs and try to apply them to my life. I want a Prince Charming of my own and I want him to have a big “horse.” I believe you could love me because I am the perfect mix of spicy and sweet. I give second and eighth chances because some people just need more time. And I really mean it when I say I miss you, so it extra sucks when you do not feel the same way.

I feel like a loser because so far my track record is full of endings! Oops! I look forward to things like napping, chai tea lattes, and a good cry. L-O-S-E-R.

But when I look at myself in the mirror, all those feelings melt away. And then it all comes rushing back to me and I remember how smart and successful and fun I am. So obviously I am not the loser, all those other men are!

For some reason I have never been afraid of the “L” (as in Love) word. If it is something I feel, then I am more afraid of not saying it. I can usually handle the rejection because I have so much love to give that my love now is most likely not my last. Unfortunately most people are not this way, so I guess I am a little bit scary! Loser times two.

However, I can not help but wonder if maybe I am just dating the wrong gender. I am pretty sure that my expressions of love and sweet gestures would sweep any lady off of her feet and we could listen to Brad Paisley together and buy “horses” together and talk about feelings and menstruation.

So maybe I am just a Loser because I am not in Love with a Lesbian?

(As a side note, I am fully aware that this post may scare off all men and I am okay with that.)

Do not stop fighting for love ladies and gents because if you do, my chances of finding it are much lower.

Thank you,

Cleo

I spend more time with myself that anyone else. In getting to know me, I have learned that I am a naturally happy person that instinctively reacts negatively to most everything.

I am not sure exactly why this is. I may have been conditioned this way as a child or maybe a strand of my dna is wired differently. Nonetheless, my fulcrum is heavily skewed to the negative despite my inability to wipe this smile off my face. Quite a strange combination.

I am not good at accepting compliments. I tend to think that most people are not genuine and/or have a secret agenda.

I believe most people want to see me fail.

Although actions may speak louder than words, actions alone are not enough to convince me of anything.

I have little faith in life running according to plan (so I try not to plan).

I believe that unhappy people are common and hurt other people, whether intentional or not.

The majority of people do not know themselves well enough.

I do not believe that all my dreams will come true.

I have to look really hard to see love around me.

Criticism resonates with me much more than encouragement.

Pain can scare anyone and people’s actions when scared are often unpredictable. However, those who do nothing that scares them are not people I am interested in knowing.

When you hurt me or make me angry, I want to slap you with my concise vocabulary and way of speaking. I want to make you immediately regret messing with me. I want to boss you around and make you submit.

The strange thing about all this is that it is just perspective. None of this is fact or justifiable as truth. Is it possible that I want to see the bad?

I would be interested in knowing what the grass is like on the other side. What does it feel like to naturally react positively? Sounds like it would take a lot of effort, but if your perspective can change your outcome, it may be worth it after all.

Rainbows, unicorns, true love, mariposas,and calorie-free,

Cleo

Don’t let alcohol make you an accidental mommy. Happy belated Mother’s Day! x

Luv,

Cleo

If you have ever been in love, it is kind of like someone kicking you in the shins with a shoe made of brick. Naturally, you fall down.

Ouch. Bruised and injured, it can be hard to get back up. Now you know what love feels like. You are changed.

Not that I have one, but I can only assume that it is similar to getting a tattoo. The pain and the anguish is nearly unbearable, yet exhilarating nonetheless. A voluntary suffering. Things that once used to cause pain- toe-stubbing, paper cuts, hair-pulling- no longer have as tight a grip on your threshold. You are a stronger person now and you have the scars to prove it. You are hardcore.

Maybe falling in love is also like childbirth. If the end result were not worth the pain, than I would not be here today.

It takes but a moment for love to kick your footing out from under you, yet quite possibly an eternity to regain yourself. But once you do and once the pain of heartache, tatoos, or birth subside… all you want is another.

Herein lies my current situation with dating.

I have done mediocre dating, I have done just for fun dating, I have done good but not great dating. However, now that I have done fall on my butt, head over heels dating, all I want is someone that will pull the ground out from under me even harder. Catch me off guard! I want to fall on my pretty-little face.

As if I was not picky enough before, I seem to be patiently waiting for the guy with enough potential to floor me. Make me fall. Infect my thoughts. Drive me crazy.  If I am still standing, if I am still rational, if I am still breathing, than you are not the one for me.

I am not attracted to passive. Let me see you being extraordinary. I want to fall on my face.

And the beat goes on,

Cleo

 

Thank you! More questions to come.

xx,

Cleo

Social norms of this city dictate that women gain entrance into nightclubs without charge and wait in shorter or nonexistent lines. Women get drinks bought for them, dinners, flowers, designer bags, nose jobs, and sometimes cars. Los Angeles is a city run by money and contain many people with bank accounts too large for their own good.

free flowers just for smiling!

From an outsider’s perspective it sounds pretty awesome, right? Free stuff for doing nothing! Sharing the wealth IS a great concept, sign me up.

As a writer/blogger that likes to eat out and go to fancy gyms and wear stylish outfits, I’m pretty broke. I have to avoid shopping centers, unnecessary Groupon deals, and online shoe sales in order to keep a roof over my head and food in my cat’s bowl. Thus the appeal of a free meal is high for someone of my non-trust fund status.

I’m sure that every girl that has flaunted red lipstick and shown some leg has her share of crazy proposals. Mine? Trips to Hawaii, Miami, Dallas, Big Sur, and New York, a Chanel bag, $250 cash, spa days, 7 billboards with my face on it, housing in a 15 room mansion, and a puppy are probably my top thus far. And since I have been single and unattached for a really long time, these are all from men I am not romantically involved.

Of these proposals I have only accepted one (not telling you which!). Even though I did nothing but share my time, receiving an unearned gift made me feel like a dirty pirate hooker. That is when I vowed never to be a gold-digger and to maintain a sense of dignity no matter how shiny an object dangling in front of me may be.

Although there are so many random men that can afford to bribe young women, their generosity or hidden agenda is not mine to judge. Some men really do just want to share. Others want to project an image of power to hide their insecurities. Others are bored and want attention. And still others are so accustomed to their lavish ways that life has lost perspective.

More importantly however, what is accepting these gifts saying about the receiver? It is one thing to have free things offered to you. It is quite another to accept.

I struggle to respect women that accept free stuff for the sole purpose of feeding one’s ego, personal gain, feeling entitled, or laziness to rightfully earn something independently. The mentality of let’s see what I can get is gross. There is a power and tremendous sense of self that comes with the phrase, “No.” I may not be going to Hawaii for free next week, but at least I won’t have to deal with undesired sexual passes, a sense of dependence, the discounting of my intellect, or the sacrifice of personal integrity.

What kind of woman do you want to be?

Happy Spring-time,

Cleo