Cleo's Dating Blog

Posts Tagged ‘Friendship

I grew up as an athlete and still carry the same “hard-core” mentality to this day. I do not claim to sit at the top of the bad-ass pyramid, however I dabble in my fair share of physical challenges and can keep up with some of the best.

Despite the half-marathons, ocean swims, and Equinox circuit workouts, the concept of a Mud Run has always interested me. What is not fun about getting dirty and tackling people? Or maybe hiking a mountain would be fun (but only with a guarantee of zero snake encounters). I have other friends that enjoy rock climbing, riding motorcycles, running ultramarathons, or going on wacky juice diets.

As much as I understand the appeal of a good challenge, I can not help but wonder if maybe we are all crazy. Life is already one huge obstacle course! What sense is there in adding MORE?

Living in LA has many challenges of its own. I plan my schedule around rush hour traffic, know that discovering street parking is close to a miracle, find that most people are rude unless trying to get something out of you, frequenting trendy bars and restaurants gets pricey, and most of the hottest men are gay.

Sculpting the body you want is a challenge. Getting over your first love is a challenge. Smiling while at work is a challenge. Being an entrepreneur is a challenge.

Not to mention that DATING is one huge challenge.

So why do we even try? Why don’t we all just eat brown rice and chicken, walk around the block, watch TV, and live alone forever?

Oprah would not accept this of you. This is not living! Being safe and mechanical is a waste of your amazing human brain.

So I am going to stop watching the Mud Run of Love from the sidelines. I am going to stop running circles on the treadmill of the same men. (Can I get an amen?) I am coming out of my dating comma even if that means I need to start online dating, hitting on guys at the gym, burning incense, or praying.

I am currently accepting blind date proposals from trusted sources.

Good luck to you!

Cleo

Follow me on Instagram! @cleoheartsyou

If I had a reality show, we could all watch the clip from a few nights ago of that-guy-at-the-bar-that-was-trying-too-hard… even the valet people outside felt sorry for him.

For as long as I can remember, I have had a thing for bartenders. I’m not even sure why, but my friends could vouch that this is in fact, true. Therefore, if I have the opportunity to eat dinner at a restaurant’s bar as a hot man leans over me to set down my utensils and take my order, I jump on it. It’s much easier to flirt when bartender-man is stuck behind a counter and I can “accidentally” stare at him all night.

This week, my girlfriend and I go to a new place for dinner and there are two lovey bar stools available, as if my Libra stars aligned and reserved them for us. I asked the man to the left if the seat was taken, because I wanted to be polite.

“Yes,” he said. “I was saving it for you.”

Eeerk. Stop there. Now if Ryan Gosling or his look-a-like said this, then no problem! Sign me up for this chair next to you. However,  that was not at all the case and instead sleep-deprived, lanky, overly-eager man who was probably a mathlete in high school made googly eyes at me and I felt dirty.

Thus, I sat my body as far right on my chair as possible to create the greatest amount of distance between us and slightly turned my back to him.

“Are you an actress?” I hear coming from my left. My mind literally debates if the restaurant is loud enough to where I could pretend I did not hear him. Unfortunately, it is not.

“No.” I wanted to stop at that but felt bad and added, “why did you think that?” and a half smile.

He goes on to explain that I give off an actress vibe because I am proper and sit up straight. I say, “Hmmm, that’s interesting,” and I tell him that I am a writer. However, what I am actually thinking is, I wonder if he can tell that I’m praying he stops talking. I turn away as soon as there is a lull, pretending I am thirsty.

conversation diversion

Saved to breathe another moment of silence. Until…

“So what name can I look for online when you become famous?”

I now have to turn a complete 180 to face him, since I was leaning as far away as physically feasible. I strain my neck and tell him how I go by Cleo online (holla!).

Long story short, I avoid further conversation and could not help but wonder how nice to would be if his friend next to him had the balls to say, “hey man, you’re wasting your time. She’s not interested.”

Too often friends stay quiet when they should take a stand and speak out! If your boy is making a fool of himself, save him. Wouldn’t you want someone to do the same for you?

I know I definitely appreciate when my girlfriends warn me when I’m being too flirtatious! Sometimes in a social setting with a little liquid courage, the line between being playful and embarrassing can be a little blurry, at least for me.

There is a site floating around online called Comiingle, where you can help your friends with dating. This is the new way to approach dating online… kind of how unfriending someone on Facebook is the new way to stop dating someone without saying anything.

Comiingle is good because users can get a third, fourth, eighth, or twentieth opinion before having to go on that awkward blind date, meet that girl that used a picture from 10 years ago, or that guy that lied about his profession and income. Friends can also steer you clear of hazardous suitors.

Additionally, Comiingle gives you access to wing-men and wing-women! Despite my misfortune with bar stool neighbor, I was lucky that my girlfriend broke the ice with bartender-man and asked him his birthday so that we could figure out his zodiac sign (Cancer, btw). I was actually not going to spark conversation because I did not feel it was organic at the time and would have been forced. Thank goodness god invented wing-people to give us a shove in the right direction when we feel frozen.

Be a good friend and help your friends out with their dating woes when necessary, even when not asked. And use your resources! That is why Cleo, Comiingle, and all the other dating tools exist. We are here to help.

Mucho amor,

Cleonita

I am so glad that I used to be really insecure. (key words: used to be).

When I was a kid, I was super skinny. My ribs showed, I had no arm mass, I had the smallest calves, I had no boobs (which I still don’t. I always did have a booty, though). Before I got braces, my teeth were messed up. I had a huge gap and a severe over-bite. My fashion sense consisted of only the plainest jeans and t-shirts. Plus, I was extremely shy! The slightest bit of attention from any boy, even the most unattractive, would make me blush. I hated speaking in front of groups, small or large. I avoided mirrors because I did not like what I saw. I did not like the sound of my voice. I had chubby cheeks. I was not the smartest in class. I was not the most popular. Boys did not try to kiss me under the bleachers. I was not Homecoming Queen. I got embarrassed easily. I could not do a cart-wheel. I played the clarinet.

I honestly was not a fan of myself. I envied characteristics of many other people and would often get lost in lavishly detailed daydreams. My imagination was my escape.

Although I did not believe them, I still got some compliments. However, most were from my parents and I always just figured that was what parents were supposed to do. And for some reason, some boys did have crushes on me but I was so deathly shy that I acted super cold and bitchy and would always ignore them.

But, every girl wants to feel pretty. One day I decided that I wanted to feel pretty. I was going to figure out how to make myself believe that.

Practicing in the mirror, what I discovered was that I am most pretty when I smile. I am most pretty when I am happy. I am most pretty when my personality bursts out my pupils. This was a very great discovery.

To this day, I still stand by the belief that true beauty comes from within.

Today, despite my gorgeous face and rockin body, I am a personality person. The main reason why I get noticed is because of my personality and the only reason I believe that I can have any man in the world is because of my intellect. To quote a friend, personality people get better with time and age. And what a relief that is because Botox looks like it hurts!

So I say, thank god that I used to be insecure. If I never figured out that wit, charm, confidence, contagious energy, and wisdom are more important than how tan my skin is or how expensive my purse is, I would not have a chance against all the Barbie doll, supermodel, airbrushed, hair-done, Christian Louboitin-wearing, women that are my competition. Thank god I used to be a huge dork.

With warm hugs,

Cleo

Once upon a time, there was a goddess named Aishah. She was born in a far away land where the sun never set and the sky never rained. This land had few inhabitants and no spoken language, so one could only communicate with one another through song. The people always hummed and chimed and jingled, and everyone was very happy.

Although passage to this land is off limits to those born elsewhere, Aishah knew the importance of sharing communication through song with other communities. She traveled far and wide to spread this belief. Thus, her arrival at Witzend in Venice, CA was not by accident.

A wave of silenced rushed over the small crowd that had gathered as Aishah approached center stage. This would truly be a new experience. Singing melodies of empowerment, love, and the beauty of self, not a single attendee was anything less than mesmerized. Goddess of Song. Even the statues were dancing.

Closing the performance with spunk and personality, Aishah knew she had done what she came to do. But was her journey complete? Hell no. Next up, Malibu Inn- December 16.

Click me for more info!

If you missed this live Goddess showing at Witzend, you are receiving fair warning for the next one. Join Cleo and the other goddesses of the area as we make this world a little more beautiful one day at a time.

Thank you for reading,

Cleo <3

Oops. Despite my flawless exterior and radiant interior, I still make some mistakes and have some problems to figure out.

healthy banana

I recently self-diagnosed one such problem as what I like to call, accidental girlfriend cloning. Allow me to explain.

I have been liking boys (men, guys, males, etc.) since they stopped having cooties, about 15 years ago. However, only yesterday did I realize that I try to clone the men that I like into girls. I do not mean this in a lesbian way (at least 60%, anyway). What I mean is that once I decide that a man is attractive, interesting, fun, and worthy of devotion, I naturally want to do my favorite things with them. Most of which include talking about feelings, having deep conversations, watching romantic comedies, going shopping, giggling, dancing, eating chocolate, having pillow fights, and brushing each other’s hair (the last two are just for jokes). I force these activities upon these simple, helpless beings and still get disappointed when they suck at it.

Thus, I finally came to the conclusion that girl time is equally, if not more, important as boy time. Dumping all of my social and love needs on one person is too much. When a man just doesn’t cut it, the goddesses will satisfy.

So ladies, never underestimate your girlfriends and try not to overestimate your boyfriends. The dating journey is about finding that delicate balance between friends and lovers where we can all be happy using our god-given strengths. No one need change who they are, just what we expect from each other.

xx,

Cleoliscious

First of all, I must distinguish that “playing a character” is not the same thing as “role playing,” although I do not discourage against the latter.

This weekend, I propose a challenge. Pick a character, a variation of yourself that you want to explore, and practice being outside your normal self. If you are typically planned and scheduled, be spontaneous-you all weekend. If you are typically drunk and sloppy, practice being controlled and classy. If you are typically responsible, be a balanced amount of young and crazy. Be silly instead of serious, nonchalant instead of dramatic, mellow instead of hyper, enthusiastic instead of pessimistic.

Dress the part if you need to! For example, as I write, I am being nerdy me and Barnes and Noble on a Friday evening.

If you traditionally complain that you have trouble meeting men, go and talk to some. If you usually wait around for a guy to make plans for you, take initiative and make some yourself. If you have trouble making new friends, strike up a conversation with some strangers. If you normally lounge on the couch and watch the weekend go by on your television screen, get dressed up and go party. If you always say you will meditate and get in touch with yourself, actually do it this time. Embrace a new side of you that you may not have even known existed.

Too often we put ourselves inside of a box entitled, “me.” In fact, we are much more than can ever be contained within four walls. That is why we must challenge ourselves and our comfort zones. There is so much left to discover. We put a lot of effort into learning something new at our job, about current events, about someone else, and about our hobbies, but lets not forget that learning something about ourselves is the most important thing we could spend time on.

kiss kiss,

Cleo

“Funk” might as well be a four-letter word. Being in a funk is like being near death, emotionally- like anorexia for the soul.

This past week, Cleo herself was definitely in some type of funk. All I wanted to do was stare at the wall and not talk to anyone. Showering was almost too much effort. Pizza, hamburgers, and chocolate fro-yo were all I wanted to eat. The cause? Unknown. But as a natural-born analyzer, I have a theory.

1. There is a difference between being happy and choosing to be happy. Being happy comes naturally and effortlessly. Playing with a puppy, getting a massage, spending a light-hearted day with your lover, having girl time at the beach, or celebrating with great friends are all moments of easy happiness.

banana time!

Choosing to be happy is much different. It’s being excited for a job interview that you don’t care about. It’s smiling at work when you would rather be doing 100 different things. It’s not getting frustrated when you are forced to budget your money. It’s putting makeup on when you don’t care what you look like. It’s going to the gym instead of the bar.

Long periods of choosing to be happy are exhausting. I believe that is why happy hour was invented. I also believe that is one cause for my funk. I was tired of choosing happiness. Thus, I chose moody-loner-Grey’s Anatomy rerun watching- death stare giving- complaining Goddess (I am always a Goddess no matter what I do).

2. Lack of a quality love life equals less distractions. Being single is fine and dandy and I like it, but not having a crush gets boring (currently accepting applications). It means that there are more moments where I am focused on my own life and responsibilities and less moments floating in a purple cloud of romantic fantasies.

Alright so, we are in a funk. Now what? Sometimes, it is best just to embrace it. Go all out! Be funky. Take time to rest, be alone, and think (or not think).

When you decide that you have had enough funk, get out of it. How?

Surround yourself with effortless happiness. Tell a good friend that you don’t feel like yourself and maybe he or she will cheer you up, take you out, feed you, pet you, or make you laugh. Go to happy hour in the afternoon. Go to an event where you can meet new people. Work out, hard. Buy new clothes. Go to the spa. Lie in bed all day and order in food. Go on a weekend getaway. Find a crush. Make out.

Gradually, the effortless happiness will give you the strength to choose happiness again. It is the circle of life.

As a “being in a funk” survivor, I can tell you that bouncing back is not only possible, but inevitable. As with anything in life, if you learn from it, then it is not time wasted… and what is better than learning more about yourself!

Wishing you all a funk-free Friday,

Cleo

xx