Cleo's Dating Blog

Posts Tagged ‘Friendship

Once upon a time, there was a goddess named Aishah. She was born in a far away land where the sun never set and the sky never rained. This land had few inhabitants and no spoken language, so one could only communicate with one another through song. The people always hummed and chimed and jingled, and everyone was very happy.

Although passage to this land is off limits to those born elsewhere, Aishah knew the importance of sharing communication through song with other communities. She traveled far and wide to spread this belief. Thus, her arrival at Witzend in Venice, CA was not by accident.

A wave of silenced rushed over the small crowd that had gathered as Aishah approached center stage. This would truly be a new experience. Singing melodies of empowerment, love, and the beauty of self, not a single attendee was anything less than mesmerized. Goddess of Song. Even the statues were dancing.

Closing the performance with spunk and personality, Aishah knew she had done what she came to do. But was her journey complete? Hell no. Next up, Malibu Inn- December 16.

Click me for more info!

If you missed this live Goddess showing at Witzend, you are receiving fair warning for the next one. Join Cleo and the other goddesses of the area as we make this world a little more beautiful one day at a time.

Thank you for reading,

Cleo <3

Oops. Despite my flawless exterior and radiant interior, I still make some mistakes and have some problems to figure out.

healthy banana

I recently self-diagnosed one such problem as what I like to call, accidental girlfriend cloning. Allow me to explain.

I have been liking boys (men, guys, males, etc.) since they stopped having cooties, about 15 years ago. However, only yesterday did I realize that I try to clone the men that I like into girls. I do not mean this in a lesbian way (at least 60%, anyway). What I mean is that once I decide that a man is attractive, interesting, fun, and worthy of devotion, I naturally want to do my favorite things with them. Most of which include talking about feelings, having deep conversations, watching romantic comedies, going shopping, giggling, dancing, eating chocolate, having pillow fights, and brushing each other’s hair (the last two are just for jokes). I force these activities upon these simple, helpless beings and still get disappointed when they suck at it.

Thus, I finally came to the conclusion that girl time is equally, if not more, important as boy time. Dumping all of my social and love needs on one person is too much. When a man just doesn’t cut it, the goddesses will satisfy.

So ladies, never underestimate your girlfriends and try not to overestimate your boyfriends. The dating journey is about finding that delicate balance between friends and lovers where we can all be happy using our god-given strengths. No one need change who they are, just what we expect from each other.

xx,

Cleoliscious

First of all, I must distinguish that “playing a character” is not the same thing as “role playing,” although I do not discourage against the latter.

This weekend, I propose a challenge. Pick a character, a variation of yourself that you want to explore, and practice being outside your normal self. If you are typically planned and scheduled, be spontaneous-you all weekend. If you are typically drunk and sloppy, practice being controlled and classy. If you are typically responsible, be a balanced amount of young and crazy. Be silly instead of serious, nonchalant instead of dramatic, mellow instead of hyper, enthusiastic instead of pessimistic.

Dress the part if you need to! For example, as I write, I am being nerdy me and Barnes and Noble on a Friday evening.

If you traditionally complain that you have trouble meeting men, go and talk to some. If you usually wait around for a guy to make plans for you, take initiative and make some yourself. If you have trouble making new friends, strike up a conversation with some strangers. If you normally lounge on the couch and watch the weekend go by on your television screen, get dressed up and go party. If you always say you will meditate and get in touch with yourself, actually do it this time. Embrace a new side of you that you may not have even known existed.

Too often we put ourselves inside of a box entitled, “me.” In fact, we are much more than can ever be contained within four walls. That is why we must challenge ourselves and our comfort zones. There is so much left to discover. We put a lot of effort into learning something new at our job, about current events, about someone else, and about our hobbies, but lets not forget that learning something about ourselves is the most important thing we could spend time on.

kiss kiss,

Cleo

“Funk” might as well be a four-letter word. Being in a funk is like being near death, emotionally- like anorexia for the soul.

This past week, Cleo herself was definitely in some type of funk. All I wanted to do was stare at the wall and not talk to anyone. Showering was almost too much effort. Pizza, hamburgers, and chocolate fro-yo were all I wanted to eat. The cause? Unknown. But as a natural-born analyzer, I have a theory.

1. There is a difference between being happy and choosing to be happy. Being happy comes naturally and effortlessly. Playing with a puppy, getting a massage, spending a light-hearted day with your lover, having girl time at the beach, or celebrating with great friends are all moments of easy happiness.

banana time!

Choosing to be happy is much different. It’s being excited for a job interview that you don’t care about. It’s smiling at work when you would rather be doing 100 different things. It’s not getting frustrated when you are forced to budget your money. It’s putting makeup on when you don’t care what you look like. It’s going to the gym instead of the bar.

Long periods of choosing to be happy are exhausting. I believe that is why happy hour was invented. I also believe that is one cause for my funk. I was tired of choosing happiness. Thus, I chose moody-loner-Grey’s Anatomy rerun watching- death stare giving- complaining Goddess (I am always a Goddess no matter what I do).

2. Lack of a quality love life equals less distractions. Being single is fine and dandy and I like it, but not having a crush gets boring (currently accepting applications). It means that there are more moments where I am focused on my own life and responsibilities and less moments floating in a purple cloud of romantic fantasies.

Alright so, we are in a funk. Now what? Sometimes, it is best just to embrace it. Go all out! Be funky. Take time to rest, be alone, and think (or not think).

When you decide that you have had enough funk, get out of it. How?

Surround yourself with effortless happiness. Tell a good friend that you don’t feel like yourself and maybe he or she will cheer you up, take you out, feed you, pet you, or make you laugh. Go to happy hour in the afternoon. Go to an event where you can meet new people. Work out, hard. Buy new clothes. Go to the spa. Lie in bed all day and order in food. Go on a weekend getaway. Find a crush. Make out.

Gradually, the effortless happiness will give you the strength to choose happiness again. It is the circle of life.

As a “being in a funk” survivor, I can tell you that bouncing back is not only possible, but inevitable. As with anything in life, if you learn from it, then it is not time wasted… and what is better than learning more about yourself!

Wishing you all a funk-free Friday,

Cleo

xx

Dating a celebrity is hard when the paparazzi follow you every where. Luckily, my boo Trey is worth the hassle.

Before the launch of Culina Restaurant‘s new menu, I decided to organize a double date with my best friend Jaz, her flavor of the week, E, and my baby, Trey. As a general rule, I do not go on dates with different men to the same location, but for my favorite date spot in Beverly Hlils, I made an exception.

I thought a Tuesday night dinner would yield less media attention, but as we neared our destination, the herds of people and camera flashes did not ease up. Just another day in the life of a social icon.

Entering the restaurant, we were greeted by the most beautiful hostesses that Los Angeles has to offer. But my man is so loyal that I did not catch him looking once (I trained him well).

Walking through the main dining room, I can never get enough of the classy, sexy, and vibrant atmosphere. Elegant lighting and gorgeous decor are plentiful- but obviously Jaz and I were the most stunning pieces of art in the restaurant that evening.

We were seated outside on the patio where it could not be more romantic and sensual- just my style! Trey and Enrique’s dark skin tones looked so good, I had to snap a picture.

Yum. I knew what I was going to have for dessert (wink).

We started our meal with some Nebbiolo D’alba and crudo sampler dish. Succulent. We moved on to share Caprino Pizza and Bombolotti Pasta  (screw the no carb diet!). Phenomenal. Next, I made sure to feed Trey some Abbacchio Allo Scottadito lamb chops to keep his muscles big and strong. Delicious.

Everything was going very smoothly. Culina management even came by to check that our dining experience was exceeding our expectations. Next thing I know, Jaz and E get into a heated discussion and all I can hear is,”Maldito mujeriego!!” over and over again. Looks like Enrique is still with Anna. Someone is dead.

Attempting to put the drama behind us, we move on to dessert. This is what I had…

Despite a tumultuous start to an evening with the paparazzi and the drama caused by unfaithful men, Culina, Trey, and Jaz (not Enrique) were the perfect combination of magical. Love is in the air…

Bravissimo! I can’t wait until date number two.

Until next time,

Cleo

I must be too charming to have guy friends. The platonic guy-girl relationship is something that I can not seem to balance correctly, and as a Libra, I need everything to be balanced.

It is easy for me to be friends with girls. Here is why:

1. We have a lot in common: men problems, shopping, yoga, make up, vodka cranberries, menstruation, fashion, dieting, chocolate, and the list goes on.

2. I am not a jealous girl (unless a guy is involved). I want (and require) all of my girl friends to be pretty, because being surrounded by beautiful people makes me feel beautiful.

3. The secret to a successful girl-girl friendship is this: a compliment goes a long way. I am not afraid to distribute compliments when I genuinely feel them. All girls want to feel pretty every day, it is very simple.

Also, I am a good listener. This means having solid eye contact, giving empathy, contributing to the conversation, and helping to solve problems when necessary.

These points present some problems when applied to a girl-guy friendship, at least for me.

1. We do not have a lot in common. I do not follow sports center, watch porn, drink beer, or lift weights. I am not unemotional, wear a hard outer shell, or buy a guy a drink so he will come home with me. I do not think about sex as often as men. I also love to talk about feelings… Problem.

2. If I do not have “feelings” for a guy, I definitely do not get jealous. I also do not care whether my guy friends are good looking or not because, let’s be honest, there are way more good looking girls in the world than men (at least in my world). No problems here.

3. I do not know the secret to successful friendship with a guy. Problem.

My strong eye contact is often misconstrued as me being sexually interested. However, often this is not the case and I am merely just engaged in the conversation. Also, my skillful ability to listen does not matter. And being empathetic probably doesn’t matter either because men are just staring at my mouth anyway.

Thus the major problem is sexual attraction. Men do not want to be my friend and would rather be in my bed- unless they are gay, <3!!

I have a few men in my life now that I would consider friends, but in all honesty, I would NOT trust being in a room alone with them… especially with some tequila involved. Men push the boundaries and enjoy instant gratification wherever possible, even if that means breaking a friendship.

As much as I wish I were wrong, life experience will vouch for me. I even used to believe that men with girlfriends or wives were trustworthy… NAIVE. I must be too sexy for my own good. Regardless, all is well because my true friends and goddesses are all the support and camaraderie that I need in order to take over the world.

xx,

Cleo

P.S. Stay tuned for details on my upcoming Singles Event this October =].

I went to the J. Paul Getty Museum last Tuesday with next big music sensation, Aishah. The experience was amazing, to say the least.

Aishah and I. Chercher la femme.

I have always wanted to be one of those people who is referred to as, “cultured”… but have yet to succeed. I know very little about history, very little about art, and even less about art history! But what is life if you do not try something new??

Taking the tram from the parking lot to the museum entrance, I could not help but ponder about my tiny existence on this planet (but I have no problem with “tiny” and all the adjectives associated: skinny, slim, petite, cute, small).

Stepping onto the golden, marble steps of the museum, the first thing I noticed was the immediate change in atmosphere from the gridlock Wilshire boulevard below, to the light, airy, and nurturing energy of the Getty. Wandering aimless, we opened ourselves up to the opportunity of discovering new treasures, meeting new people, and gaining enlightenment. I encourage you to do this in all areas of your life.

We spent a lot of time at the Gods of Angkor exhibit, learning about the spirituality of other lessor-known, beautiful cultures. My favorite discovery here was the yogini’s, women whose role is to destroy ignorance throughout the universe.

We spent a lot of time annoying security guards into helping us find the infamous Getty Central Garden.

We spent a lot of time meditating with the gorgeous LA skyline in the horizon.

Aishah, before she became infamously known as the Goddess of Song.

Since I was a little girl, whenever I look at classical paintings, drawings, or other works of art, I have trouble understanding exactly what I am looking at and why it is so valuable. Wahoo, a framed drawing of lemons in a bowl! As I said, I am not very cultured.

Oddly enough, what I remember most about my Getty experience is exactly that which I did not understand at first. I can not stop thinking about the painting entitled The Doctor’s Visit, by Frans Van Mieris, 1667.

Initially, I looked at this oil painting and thought, “Why is this here? Why is this so spectacular?” I decided to open my mind. Reading the description, the painting is said to feature a woman who fainted and a doctor that came to examine her (and a vile of her urine). The diagnosis is that she is suffering from love-sickness.

Love-sickness?! Despite a gown and head garment that I would NOT be caught dead in, me, her, and the rest of the present and past world, have something in common. Love hurts! Heartache was considered just as serious an illness as the flu or small pox or syphilis (well, maybe almost as serious). No matter how much we as humans have evolved,  no matter how much of the rain forest we destroy, and no matter how many medical discoveries we make, heartache has and always will exist. It is an unavoidable aspect of living life.

I find that beautiful.

Thank you Getty, thank you Aishah, and thank you art for making me realize that, although this life I lead is unique to me, we ALL are connected through love, through pain, and through life.

I am so tiny!

Lots of love and some love-sickness,

Cleo

xx

I decided to enter a short story contest, but since it is going to take months before I know if I win or not… here is a preview for all my lovely readers! PLEASE tell me what you think =]. (keep in mind that this is fiction… at least mostly, *wink*).

xx,

Cleo

———–

The Underlying Discovery Within a Brief Moment

As a relationship flirts with the line between romantic and platonic, questions are raised, boundaries are tested, and the energies of two beings explore the idea of becoming one, despite unusual circumstances.

———-

She had to tell him that she felt uncomfortable. Even as a huge lump formed in her throat and her palms began to sweat, she could not let this go on.

“This is all very new to me,” she began, as her blue floral dress started to stick to her sun kissed skin. Los Angeles can be so hot in the summer time.

“Sometimes I don’t even know what’s going on.” She smiled, trying to keep things light-hearted.

He always looked at her in the same way, just as he was now. Eyes completely engaged, but also hazy.

“You are so cute, you know that?” The words came out as if he could not hold them in any longer.

Once again, she was speechless.

“Let’s go on a walk,” he said. “I want to show you something.”

He grabbed her hand before she could answer, blind to the fact that part of her cringed on the inside.

They walked down the street, hand-in-hand, as cars hustled by. Various stores and shops adorned the sidewalk and people in every style of clothing were passing by on their way from here to somewhere else.

“This is my favorite little bookstore.” He said, finally freeing her hand.

Entering the store, they were hit by the scent of old and new books coexisting. There is nothing quite like the smell of books. Elated, her discomfort with the previous situation was forgotten, at least for now.

“Oh my god, I love it!” She had this glowing energy that was impossible to ignore.

Slowly running her fingers along the rows of books, she tried to soak in every element. A hopeless romantic, she naturally gravitated toward the poetry section and picked a book at random.

Flipping the pages and feeling their presence beneath her mint green painted finger tips, she stopped on a poem entitled, A Conceit. This poem was written by Maya Angelou.

Give me your hand
Make room for me
to lead and follow
you
beyond this rage of poetry.

Let others have
the privacy of
touching words
and love of loss
of love.

For me
Give me your hand.

“I could give you that, you know?”

“Oh no it’s alright. I’m sure I could Google all of these poems for free,” she said sparklingly.

“You are so beautiful. What I meant is that I could give you what is in the poem. When are you going to let me? When will you give me your hand?” He had a way of mixing sweetness with arrogance.

Just like that, a nice moment became awkward.

“But, I work for you… silly.” She added the last word to ease the blow. Men do not take rejection well.

Master of changing the subject, she picked up another book about traveling to Africa. “I’ve always wanted to go to Africa and play with the orangutans. Los Angeles men are good practice,” she joked.

He laughed. “Are you hungry? I’ll take you wherever you want to go,” he was not bluffing.

“How about Africa?” She loved to be playful.

He laughed again. “But I really must get going,” she interjected before he could speak. “I have a lot of work to do.”

“Yes, but do your work in my office so I can stare at you,” he played back, in a serious way.

“You know I can’t work when you stare at me.”

“When are you going to accept that we are soul mates?” He asked this question almost daily.

She laughed it off. “It’s late. I am going to work from home. I will see you tomorrow, boss.”

He walked her to her car and they parted ways for one more day.

 

It was a difficult dynamic for her to swallow. Her senses were always alert when he was around and her stomach always felt like it was holding its breath, as if the slightest movement could shatter everything she had worked for.

Even so, the oddest part about the entire situation was that she found herself thinking of him. She would often wake up to thoughts of him and look forward to the bombardment of emails from him that would start her day- except these emails were not work related, but “her” related. Was it his power and success that she found interesting? How could it be that he devoted so much time and attention to her when the rest of his life demanded so much?

She smiled at the unique role he played in her life, wondering if there were many others girls dealing with a similar dilemma. Maybe he was right? Maybe they were soul mates? Maybe age is just a number and nothing more? After all, his level of maturity did not match the number listed on his birth certificate anyway.

Driving home with the windows down, she let her mind wander. The allure of, “being taken care of” was undeniably enticing and common in this town. It is so Beverly Hills to be able to shop for anything you want and not earn a dime of the money being spent.

But no matter how much her mind liked to challenge her instincts, she knew she was not at all a true LA girl. Conformity was not in her life plan. As she buzzed by the perfect rows of palm trees in her aspiring BMW, affirming that to herself made her smile- a smile greater than any man or amount of money could give her.

I am two years out of college. Actualizing that in my mind is strange. It feels like it’s been ten, long, unpredictable, and eventful years (but I definitely don’t look that way, wink*).

Generally speaking, my college experience was probably similar to most. I was always surrounded by friends, always meeting new people, and always planning and looking forward to the next big get together. Most of my meals were eaten in groups, a week did not go by where someone did not crash on our couch, I never woke up to an empty apartment, and there was always someone willing to play beer pong with you, no matter what time of day. We studied together, watched Gossip Girl together, abused our livers together, and laughed together- always so much laughter. I never felt lonely, never felt bored (unless I was in class), and never had trouble finding someone to share a memory with.

Graduating and entering the working world was a harsh reality shake. Looking back on my life after college thus far, I struggled. Before I could say, “cheers, we graduated!”, I was working a 9-5 job, eating my meals alone, being bored out of my mind, and not making many new friends. I spent more time in my car by myself than I ever had before and had less motivation to be social than I had before. Hanging out was no longer spontaneous and had to be planned, being randomly hung over all day was now much more painful, and skipping work was not nearly as easy as skipping class.

Since I am very much a mind-over-matter type of gal, at the time, I refused to believe that I was not happy. It was not that I wanted to go back to the college years, I just missed that family feel. I have an old soul so I liked the idea of growing up, but I did not like the idea of not having a steady support group to share  it with.

On top of it all, single felt so much different than it used to! Single used to mean that I had too many options to choose from and was readily available for new ones at any moment. Now single felt like a synonym for lonely and a precursor to a spinster, old cat lady lifestyle.

As I said, it has been two years and I am only starting to adjust. However, I know I am not alone in this struggle. How? Because I see a lot more sad eyes in the working world than I ever did in college. I believe many people are struggling at this very moment, but without a known solution, we learn to deal with it instead of change it.

In college things just happen and outside factors are constantly pushing us forward. We flow to this party, drink too much, then flow home… the next day. We attend class, are told exactly what to do, do it, and then repeat. Our four years are planned in advance down to the very hour, we have a good idea what life will be like in the next few months, and we are not concerned with being unemployed or not having health insurance. As long as there is Plan B then there is nothing to worry about! (totally joking)…

In post college life, there is no set path. Anything could happen or nothing could happen and it is all up to you. It is up to you if you have a job. It is up to you if you stay in a job you don’t like of if you choose to pursue a job you do like. It is up to you to set your own goals, challenge yourself, and keep learning. It is up to you where you live, how much money you save, and who you chose to spend time with. It is up to you to put the effort into meeting new people, maintaining relationships, and creating a network of like-minded people. It is up to you if you chose to feel lonely or do something to change that.

There is no blueprint or case study. No one’s path will mirror your own. Nothing is guaranteed. So how are we supposed to know what to do?

Stay true to yourself and follow your intuition. Figure out what is important to you, and go after it zealously. Don’t get comfortable with mediocre. Cut yourself slack… if you are not making mistakes, then you are not trying.

I have made large changes in my life recently. For example, I quit a steady job to pursue writing, am selecitvely choosing a fantastic group of goddesses to surround myself with, have decided to be nothing but myself in every situation (especially with men!), and have made up my mind to fight for what I want (assuming I figure out what that is).

Although the future is unstable, deep down I feel a sense of peace knowing that I am not taking life lightly. Even on days when June gloom makes it hard to get out of bed, I feel my savings account slowly dwindling, and my love life looks like a huge zero on paper, I know I am growing and heading somewhere positive.

Growing up is hard! But if we do it together as a collective group of unique  individuals, it really can be exciting to realize how much power you have on the outcome of your life.

Luvy,

Cleo xx

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Conceited

Posted on: April 8, 2011

I want to be conceited. I want to be completely obsessed with myself and no one else. Maybe I could even take myself on dates! Is that wrong? Before you answer, allow me to explain…

I realized over the course of the past year (or ten!) that I tend to have a problem with caring too much. It’s actually very sweet of me but, in a world of survival of the fittest, it does not fly and instead of sweet, it is often referred to as naive. Many times, especially in dating, I instinctually put the feelings of others before mine- what the other person wants becomes more important and their happiness becomes a priority of mine. This is fine until it becomes self-destructive and I begin to ignore my own thoughts and feelings. My reasoning is that I want to avoid a fight and salvage happiness. Not healthy. I’ve said this before but, once I become “attached”, I get all mushy and soft and totally not Wonder Woman like I usually am.

What is with the transformation?? I mean, I am totally a baller and completely amazing, so why do I habitually forget that once attachment sets in? I think it’s a girl thing. A mothering thing. Or maybe it’s just a Cleo thing. Regardless, that is going to change.

1. I am not going to take shit from anyone, man or woman, ever again. This is tricky territory because there is a fine line between being caddy and irrational and sticking up for who are you are what you believe in. I want to steer clear of being a mistaken as a cast member on The Bad Girls Club. The sad thing is, I can’t think of a really strong female role model in today’s society that I want to live up to be. I mean… Rhianna is kinda koo-koo,  Lady Gaga is totally koo-koo, and don’t get me started on Britney, Paris, or Lindsay. Honestly, I only like Selena Gomez but she may just be too young to have messed up yet.

I have made this oath to myself and I say it with 100% conviction. If I feel offended or disrespected, I will vocalize my opinion (always striving to maintain professionalism and class, of course!). An Audrey Hepburn way of handling conflicts. I will not first think, ” I am overacting or being too sensitive?” Whatever! I am not going to be subject to someone’s moods, issues, insecurities, or immaturites (the list goes on…). I can still be sensitive and empathetic to others, but I will not be talked down to, bossed around, or insulted. I am not afraid to be feisty and stand up for my individualism.

2. I will day-dream about myself. When I get bored, I day-dream. I day-dream about anything, but usually about men… eww why?! This needs to stop. I need to think about myself and be a lot more selfish with my thoughts. I am young, charming, and beautiful and I have a ton of things that I would like to accomplish in life. I need to utterly adore myself. Ironically, it is always when I do not care at all about meeting men that I get a bunch of almost stalkers (not that I want stalkers).

I have a lot of beautiful, down-to-earth girl friends and I think we would all be a happier if we were more conceited. Often, we overlook how phenomenal we are and down play our accomplishments. .. let’s not do that anymore. Let’s be Wonder Woman all the time!

Goddess of Power,

Cleo