Cleo's Dating Blog

Posts Tagged ‘judgement

My favorite types of people have always been the ones that shock me. The more witty, insightful, wild, poetic, or vulgar you are… the more I probably like you. I possess an inherent dislike for all things boring. If you are not grabbing my attention, you are probably losing it. No wonder why I love the gays!

As with everything however, there must be a balance. Please do not shock me by how much you can talk, how rude you are, how bad you smell, or how many of my texts you can ignore. I tend to steer clear of the shockingly passive-aggressive or overly-argumentative people as well. I just want to have fun.

Even with all the ways in which you can get to know someone, it is still a challenge to deduce exactly what type of person a friend, lover, coworker, booty call, or neighbor may be. An individual may be fun and witty, but add two-faced and manipulative to the mix and I will put you in the trash pile. (Have you seen the TV show Hoarders? Bam! Here today, gone tomorrow).

We all go through phases and we all [are supposed to] grow up from time-to-time… Lord, do I know this! By no means do I expect perfection.

I am a person that likes to take career risks, love risks, and to embrace creative projects. I do not want to limit myself to a few skills or memories, I want many! As exciting as this is, it is almost just as fun to see how the people in my life respond.

When toying with an idea I am unsure of or debating whether or not to make a change in my life, there are definitely some people I can count on for endless support. There are others that will provide great perspective. There are some that will have virtually no input. However, it is always shocking to me to see who the negative, doubtful, and discouraging ones are.

This is when I decide that there are people I would rather just keep secrets from. I always feel obligated to be 100% honest when someone asks, “What’s new?” or, “How are things going?” I hate generic, one-word answers. BORING. I want to tell them exactly what is going in my mind, what new endeavors are happening, why I think I’m in love, and what my dream was about last night. Nonetheless, it is true that replacing my impulses responses with mundane answers such as, “Good, you?” are necessary at times.

This little open book is becoming more selective. Inclusion into the secret Cleo club is by invitation only.


I encourage you to be choosy in who you allow to participate in your inner life. Having secrets can be fun and can help keep you on track to happiness.

Sincerely Yours,


I really like pumpkin pie and banana cream pie. I’m not too into apple pie or pecan pie.

Regardless, I am always sad when my dessert of choice is gone. The sweetness never lasts long enough! I am not ashamed of licking my plate.

Even sharing dessert can sometimes be challenging for me. It is a hard life that I lead.

Whether or not you share in the same struggle of mastering your sweet tooth as I do, we are all lucky that things like beauty and success do not come in pie form. Otherwise Ashton Kutcher and the Olsen Twins would rule the world.

Many people act like they do not realize this to be true. I find that I have fewer and fewer friends because so many girls get catty and judgmental and so many people in general would rather see you fail and struggle then succeed.  As a newbie to the world of entrepreneurship, one of the rules of growth is to be careful with whom you share your ideas with. Haters bring negativity and no one taking a risk needs any extra doses of doubt.

Beautiful women are often harsh with other beautiful women because of competition. The fight for attention, perks, stature, or the feeling of self-worth fuel the seeds of jealousy and contempt. But let’s be honest ladies, it is not the other beautiful face that is making you look bad, it is your attitude.

The world would be a sweeter place if we could all remember that the best things in life are not limited by a pie sheet. There is a limitless amount of beauty, strength, charisma, and love to go around. I prefer to surround myself with the best of the best because it inspires me to be more tomorrow than what I am today. The narrow-minded can stay home.

If your thoughts are limited to a 12 inch circle, it is not too late to break free. When you do, you can join my club.

Yours Truly,


Hot or Not?

Posted on: March 5, 2012

I do not know what part of the world you live in, but here in Los Angeles (greenhouse of the superficial) many people tend to pride themselves on meaningless things.

The obvious ones for women are breast size, engagement ring size, purse size, and lip size while puckering in photographs.

The obvious ones for men are number of dollars, number of women, number of “VIP” connections, and number of pull-ups accomplished at one time.

What seems to be a popular competition among both genders is number of hours worked.

All of these annoy me.

It is one thing to possess any of these traits because they fit into your lifestyle and who you are. It is quite another to flaunt them and believe that they make you important or entitled to special treatment as a superior human being.

What is the common denominator of all these characteristics? They are all surface level measurements. What you see is what you get (sometimes what you get is even less than what is advertised).

I am not blindly attracted to the superficial, super-rich, super-ripped, super-ladies men of the world.  The men I want to get to know are what the ancient Egyptians referred to as, “interesting.”

People with substance! People that surprise you by their intellect, values, wit, and personality. People that can teach you something that enriches your life. People that motivate you to become a better version of yourself. People that are fun to be around. People that are more than what they seem. (Of course, all of these things plus a hot physique is preferred.)

Ladies, is there anything more attractive than a hot and humble man? Or a financially stable man who is not flashy?

If all I did was work and talk about work, I would be afraid that people would notice that I am dull. Quite a few men I know that only work, drink beer, and repeat do not seem to notice that their lifestyle lacks any type of intrigue.

What does your daily life say about you? Are you obsessed with the way that you look yet completely neglect your inner self? There are so many meat heads in the world. What makes you different? Do you non-stop talk about your ex-relationships? Newsflash, no one will ever care as much as you do. Spare us some details.

The easiest way to tell if you are on Cleo’s Hot or Not list is by asking yourself these questions: Would you want to spend time with you? Is having a conversation with yourself fun and interesting? If you met someone just like you, would you think he/she is attractive?

If you are unsure of how to answer, then these are some things you could work on. Self improvement is an ongoing process! Do not just fill your life with meaningless things such as taking work home or going to a club. Become a person of interest and surround yourself with like-minded people.

Yours Truly,


Have you ever been in the middle of a conversation with someone and you can feel them judging you? The eyes give it away. Slightly squinted, not smiling, calculating. These are not eyes to be trusted. I think pretty people get this treatment a lot.

It’s similar to when you’re on a date with a guy and you can tell he is thinking of sexual things and not so much the conversation. He stares at your mouth, eyes get hazy, cheeks a little flushed, hands active.

The point is, judgement is everywhere and we can all agree that we too are victims of judging others. Isn’t that pretty much what people watching is? Or dating? Or Isn’t that one reason why we drink alcohol? The vodka cuts the apprehension of the judgement surrounding us.

With that said, I think people love to judge Cleo. However, as a self-proclaimed Goddess of Love, of course I am going to be challenged. This was my latest encounter with judgement:

I walk into a party. I know 10% of the people there. I find 0% attractive, physically. However, this is normal and I am just here to have a good time, anyway.

I try very hard to have an I-swear-I-am-friendly-but-would-prefer-if-you-didn’t-talk-to-me attitude. I just got off work, I was tired, and I did not have any excuses prepared for why I didn’t want to give out my number.

An hour into the party, a man approaches me. I smiled because I did not want to be considered a bitch but I made sure that it was the most fake smile possible so that I am not perceived as flirting or interested. We chat about nothing and he is cool enough to qualify for a brief encounter.

Then, he tells me, “You know, I have seen you before but I didn’t want to introduce myself. You act like you do not want to be approached or meet anyone new. Like you are too cool.”

He then proceeds to ask me questions about how many years my longest relationships was (two years) and how long I have been single. Within five minutes of knowing me,  he diagnoses my lack of a lover as being because I am too judgemental and unwilling to give chances. That I am looking for the wrong qualities in someone else. That looks should not matter so much.

I think, “Hmm, he may have a point.” I allow him to continue.

He becomes excited about the opportunity to prove that he knows the secret to finding love, which I would love to know, and forces me to sit next to him. He slides his chair oddly close. “Great, here we go,” I think sarcastically.

He goes on to tell the story of his past lovers and how important it is to just let yourself love as if you are unjaded, like a teenager. Only if you open your heart and fall head first, can you truly find love. This is fine, I could agree with these statements.

However, what I could not agree with was him spitting on my face while he talked or his HORRIBLE breath! Or the fact that he kept touching my arm despite me leaning away! I was seriously getting a headache. It should be illegal for this man to NOT be chewing gum.

I am not saying anything and am instead trying to shield my face from the waterworks. He takes my silence as a cue to continue rambling. I start daydreaming about how great it would be if the arsonist lit this apartment on fire so I could run away (just kidding!).  He is making good points but his delivery is horrendous.

Although I would love to tell him, “This painful conversation is exactly why I act the way that I do,” I spare him the embarrassment.

Yes, I believe love is more than just loving the way some looks. And yes, I believe loving wholeheartedly without baggage is important.

On the flip side, I am not a teenager… I know what I want in a guy. If a man is too afraid to approach me because I may not be batting my eyelashes, then he is not the man for me. If I can’t see myself ever wanting to rip his clothes off, then he is not the man for me. If he is not self-aware enough to realize that he has rancid breathe, then he is also NOT the man for me.

So, do I want lust or love? The answer is that I want BOTH. Attraction and personality are equally important and just because I do not give chances to every man I meet does not mean that I am too judgmental. I want someone who can offer me everything that I could offer someone. And I believe that this is not asking too much.

Be careful how you judge someone. As much as we want to believe that we know everything and how to live a fulfilled life, the things we want are different from one another. If we all stuck to judging our own lives, we would all be a little more pleasant and spit-free.

To each his own. -Cicero