Cleo's Dating Blog

Posts Tagged ‘Life

They say that your 20’s is when you go through a lot of changes. Some get married and have children, others learn independence and strength through living alone. As a participant of the latter, I for one am pleased with my arrival at age 25.

When I think back to my early 20’s, I can vividly remember how frustrated I used to get when driving in traffic. Everyday I would literally picture myself with a sharp knife repeatedly stabbing someone in the chest (not that I would actually do it!). I hated everyone on the road and their stupid bumper stickers.

With age, I have learned some patience. I accept traffic as part of my life and remain calm as a result. I know to take the necessary precautions beforehand- have a snack, grab some coffee, pee before leaving- so that my frustration does not escalate to where I am no longer in control.

My friends now may not agree because they did not know the “college me”, but I have also (slowly) learned to limit my alcohol consumption. School was a time when I did not drink to be social, I drank to be wasted. Transitioning to a time in my life where that is no longer the norm has been a challenge. However, after the fiasco of my 25th birthday and the miserable day following, the need to be completely out of control has ran away with my dignity. Good thing I have the rest of my 20’s to find it!

Consequently, my slightly higher level of coherence has made me more aware of the beauty around me. When is the last time you appreciated the warmth of the sun on your face? Do you take an extra moment to fully enjoy a hug from a good friend?

I spent this past weekend in Santa Barbara and it was as though the beauty of life slapped me across the face. “Wake up and realize how gorgeous your life is!” she said. Boohoo if you’re single and you’re starting to get those tiny little veins on your legs from standing too much. Those are minuscule details compared to all of your other blessings.

It is easy to get caught up in schedules, budgeting, career paths, boyfriends, and weight management. Until you open your eyes and see how beautiful this frickin tree is…

You do not have to start being annoyingly optimistic, but curbing the complaining would not hurt either. The only secret to living is to enjoy the moment found within right now and using the senses that God gave you to be stimulated. Feel the wind, anxious butterflies, and crazy love.

Although a challenge everyday, I am taking life for what it is (gorgeous) and dating for what it is (kinda sucky), but being grateful that I am exactly where I am meant to be today. The future is still going to happen and I need not worry.

Speaking of today, Happy Halloween and I look forward to seeing all the slutty pictures on Facebook tomorrow.

Be safe and go easy on the sweets,

Cleo

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I went to Whole Foods last night to get chicken noodle soup for my cute, little, sicky roommate. What was left was mostly broth so I played the damsel-in-distress card and asked them for a fresh batch. To my surprise, it comes pre-made! No wonder the recipe never took my breath away.

As I struggled to scoop the excessively long noodles out of the metal tin with a spoon (impossible!), my eyes gazed up and locked with Mr. Whole Foods Employee. Dark hair, dark eyes. Just how I like it! I could feel him focus on me from across the counter. Even though I was not sure why since I had wet hair and was wearing my least best outfit of the week and even though I am not typically attracted to the staff of grocery stores, I decided to ignore those thoughts and embrace the mutual energy.

Continuing to splash noodles all over myself, I turn to notice that dark-eyes has moved from the opposite end of the counter to the side closest to me. How ironic. As he helps an older woman wearing a fuchsia sweater, he strategically drops an empty sample cup right next to my foot. I smile, pick it up for him, and as our hands touch there was a spontaneous lightening storm inside the store. He says, “thank you” and I turn away.

Here comes the point when a decision must be made. Do I push through the initial moment of contact and progress to the next level or do I let it sweetly linger to be potentially continued later?

I went through a phase last year when I always pushed forward. I considered it “being brave”, and it was. I took risks and rushed moments. I tried to rapidly propel the growth of feelings and attraction.

Although a whirlwind of excitement, there is something to be said of interactions that progress organically. Taking one sweet moment at a time extends the life of each and we all know that these moments tend to be few and far between. The risk here is that a future encounter is not guaranteed.

Last night I chose organic. Small steps. Nothing may ever happen, but today my spirits are just slightly higher.

Often we try to create what we want out of something before it is ready. We lose some patience because we are all so anxious to get our hands around our dreams. I am totally guilty of this more times than I realize.

How organic are you? How much do you let life lead you?

Sometimes the best thing we can do is to just enjoy the ride.

Turns out that the most organic thing at Whole Foods is the staff.

Sincerely yours,

Cleo

People say this to me often.

“Why don’t you have a boyfriend?” What tends to follow is, “Just lower your standards a little.”

If I could lower my standards and be happy, don’t you think that I would just do it already? It’s not like I am trying to win a contest of who can stay single the longest. I would love to have someone that could watch movies with me and play with my hair.

For those of you that have known me for many years, you know that I have not always had high standards. I used to have lots of boyfriends because I would only look for a few, key qualities and ignore the rest. Usually if a guy was nice and treated me well, then that was enough.

My ability to ignore things has drastically decreased. I can no longer date men that play video games all day, drink themselves to a mushy physique, smell bad, have yellow teeth, embarrass themselves in public, cry a lot, dress like it’s still the 90’s, smoke a lot of “medicine”, have a different personality around friends, have small hands, do not like to cuddle, think driving really fast is cool, have a dry sense of humor, or have nothing interesting to say (these are all true).

I have lowered my standards before, but having the wrong boyfriend is worse than being single and lonely. When single, I spend my time thinking of ways to improve my life. Although occasionally rough for a person like me that loves companionship and the idea of love, at least I know I am improving. When I do not fully adore my boyfriend, my time is spent trying to convince myself that I am happy or that I have enough patience…or else I am thinking of the most strategic ways in which to end the relationship. Sad, I know.

I guess I am at that annoying stage in my life that middle-aged people always tell me to cherish. “I wish I had enjoyed my 20’s more!” Alright, but your 20’s kind of suck when you have no proven career, no authority in the workplace, no family, no money, no beach house, no swimming pool in your backyard, no nanny, and so many distractions. The opportunities are beautiful and boundless, but it is such a waiting game to see which ones will flourish and which ones will crash. One step at a time and hopefully 30 years from now I won’t regret anything major…

Chat soon,

Cleo

 

Sometimes I feel like a big Loser (note the capital letter).

I get caught up in country songs and try to apply them to my life. I want a Prince Charming of my own and I want him to have a big “horse.” I believe you could love me because I am the perfect mix of spicy and sweet. I give second and eighth chances because some people just need more time. And I really mean it when I say I miss you, so it extra sucks when you do not feel the same way.

I feel like a loser because so far my track record is full of endings! Oops! I look forward to things like napping, chai tea lattes, and a good cry. L-O-S-E-R.

But when I look at myself in the mirror, all those feelings melt away. And then it all comes rushing back to me and I remember how smart and successful and fun I am. So obviously I am not the loser, all those other men are!

For some reason I have never been afraid of the “L” (as in Love) word. If it is something I feel, then I am more afraid of not saying it. I can usually handle the rejection because I have so much love to give that my love now is most likely not my last. Unfortunately most people are not this way, so I guess I am a little bit scary! Loser times two.

However, I can not help but wonder if maybe I am just dating the wrong gender. I am pretty sure that my expressions of love and sweet gestures would sweep any lady off of her feet and we could listen to Brad Paisley together and buy “horses” together and talk about feelings and menstruation.

So maybe I am just a Loser because I am not in Love with a Lesbian?

(As a side note, I am fully aware that this post may scare off all men and I am okay with that.)

Do not stop fighting for love ladies and gents because if you do, my chances of finding it are much lower.

Thank you,

Cleo

I spend more time with myself that anyone else. In getting to know me, I have learned that I am a naturally happy person that instinctively reacts negatively to most everything.

I am not sure exactly why this is. I may have been conditioned this way as a child or maybe a strand of my dna is wired differently. Nonetheless, my fulcrum is heavily skewed to the negative despite my inability to wipe this smile off my face. Quite a strange combination.

I am not good at accepting compliments. I tend to think that most people are not genuine and/or have a secret agenda.

I believe most people want to see me fail.

Although actions may speak louder than words, actions alone are not enough to convince me of anything.

I have little faith in life running according to plan (so I try not to plan).

I believe that unhappy people are common and hurt other people, whether intentional or not.

The majority of people do not know themselves well enough.

I do not believe that all my dreams will come true.

I have to look really hard to see love around me.

Criticism resonates with me much more than encouragement.

Pain can scare anyone and people’s actions when scared are often unpredictable. However, those who do nothing that scares them are not people I am interested in knowing.

When you hurt me or make me angry, I want to slap you with my concise vocabulary and way of speaking. I want to make you immediately regret messing with me. I want to boss you around and make you submit.

The strange thing about all this is that it is just perspective. None of this is fact or justifiable as truth. Is it possible that I want to see the bad?

I would be interested in knowing what the grass is like on the other side. What does it feel like to naturally react positively? Sounds like it would take a lot of effort, but if your perspective can change your outcome, it may be worth it after all.

Rainbows, unicorns, true love, mariposas,and calorie-free,

Cleo

Don’t let alcohol make you an accidental mommy. Happy belated Mother’s Day! x

Luv,

Cleo

Inspired by a recent horrific date encounter, the following is a list of things a man should never say to a woman, especially upon first meeting her! All phrases are true and come from personal, first-hand experience.

1. “I could find 50 girls in this bar to sleep with.” (gross)

2. “I’m really good at making girls feel comfortable enough to have a one night stand.” (douche bag)

3. “I had a bad experience with going down on a girl before, so I don’t do it anymore.” (selfish)

4. “My ex-girlfriend and I did every sexual thing imaginable.” (baggage)

5. “This is a picture of my ex, isn’t she pretty?” (wtf?)

6. “I haven’t been tested for std’s in a couple years.” (never touching you)

7. “You’re a prude.” (I just don’t like you)

8. “Three drinks is not a lot. Have one more.” (still not sleeping with you)

9. “I don’t like wearing condoms.” (ever?!)

10. “I can tell you orgasm nicely just by looking at you.” (who are you??)

11. “I don’t believe in marriage.” (wait until you’re bald and fat)

12. “My girlfriend doesn’t know that I have a crush on you.” (then stop)

14. “Why didn’t you answer my last 7 texts?” (leave me alone)

15. “I think your friend is a catch.” (then date her instead)

16. “Send me a picture of your toes.” (no)

17. “I’ve slept with more people than you and your roommate combined, times two.” (I wouldn’t tell anyone else that)

18. “I have gotten my last 4 girlfriends pregnant.” (are you serious??)

19. “Sex should happen first to determine if we have chemistry.” (now I know that we don’t)

20. “I can’t believe you are with me. You are going to break my heart one day.”  (grow some balls)

If anything similar has been said to you, than you know how I feel. This free speech thing we celebrate sure leaves room for endless possibilities.

Striving for the best,

Cleo