Cleo's Dating Blog

Posts Tagged ‘loneliness

What is your passion?

Recently a man twice my age asked me on a date (I said no because gray is not my type, although a Clippers game did sound fun). He prefaced the proposal with this question, “What is your passion?”

As quite possibly the girliest-girl in the world, I naturally responded with, “love.” Of course this includes the love of a lover, but also the love of friends, family, work, the moment, nature, and self. If you were to ask me what I fell in love with most in 2012, it would be how much my patience has grown.

Granted, I still get frustrated and act out (especially when hungry) yet December 25, 2012 yields a person of an entirely different level of patience.

I have work goals, learning Spanish goals, traveling goals, yoga goals, entrepreneurship goals, and body image goals. These are activities I enjoy. However, without a deeper connection, these are just replaceable hobbies to pass the time. I look to give and receive love in all my activities because this is how I feel most fulfilled.

camel

Ironically this combination of seeking loving and having increased patience means I tend to stay in self-sacrificing situations longer than most would… possibly longer than is emotionally healthy at times, as well. I tend to give more than I receive. I tend to expect more than others are willing to give. I tend to give second chances on top of the previous five chances.

Why? Well if I could be a different way, I probably would. It seems easier to be impartial to things and to have a passion more simplistic, like cooking or horseback riding. These things give exactly what you put in. We all know love is a gamble, but none of us seem to know the odds!

I was born a romantic. I study my emotions. I find pleasure in digging deep down to the bottom corner of my heart in as many things as I can. This is where I house my ability to genuinely listen to you when you have a problem, ideas on how I can surprise you with something sweet, determination not to judge you until I know you, and warm energy every time I hug you.

Those who do not do the same often do not make sense to me. Why would you limit your sensations?

I am perplexed until I realize that the consequences can be painful! It is terrible when love is given and not returned or when love is misunderstood and discarded. Every time is a little chip on my heart.

Luckily, the heart need not always be in control. My mind tells me to keep going just as I am. To manifest faith in a sparkly tomorrow in order to keep the chips off my shoulder. To be grateful for Christmas Day with my family and for a promising 2013.

Maybe Santa will not unveil our soulmates today. Or maybe he will. And that is the beauty of an unknown future with endless possibilities.

Warm wishes and Happy Holidays,

Cleo

One of my favorite past times is sweating. I love when I workout so hard that the sweat stings my eyes and drips into mouth and my shirt clings to my lower back like a sponge. This is purity in its highest form (second to abstinence, of course).

I have been cross-training and interval training for years. Intensity is a word that runs through my mind every time, whether or not I actually push to that level. What keeps me going when my body is hurting is the thought that I probably will not die, even though I feel like it.

Lately I have started to wonder, can your workout mentality leak into other areas of your life?

My theory is: yes.

Much like my exercise regimen, there are times that I tend to “go all out” in my love life and my work life. As if I only have 15 seconds left of spilt-squat jumps, I dig deep for that extra bit of patience, sweetness, ambition, discipline, compassion, or control until even my bones hurt. I ignore the pain and I keep plowing forward. I tell myself that I am not actually going to die.

Sometimes this is good. We all know that getting out of your comfort zone is the only way to accelerate growth.

However, sometimes this is bad. If we push too far past our limit we may sprain our ankle or dislocate our shoulder, in the emotional sense. This can be illustrated by the times when we try to make others jealous on purpose, get too drunk and make inappropriate phone calls, completely lose our sense of judgement, lash out in anger, get moody, get anxious and cry, stir the drama pot, or anything else that could get you casted on a Reality TV show.

Although I may be addicted to that climactic feeling when you finally reach the top of that steep hill in spin class, pushing this hard in your personal life is not sustainable. What is better is to remain consistent.

Taking steps toward your career goals or finding the love of your life is more similar to running a marathon than doing single-leg blurpies. Being ready and then giving up and then being ready and then giving up again is not healthy for any party involved. That is why going slow is always better. Give your endurance some time to build. Let things flow naturally like a pleasant dance and do less forcing.

September will be the month of casting my cares. Will you join me?

Namaste,

Cleo

 

As far as I understand, when something does not fit well, you have two choices: shove it in OR give up. I tend to practice both philosophies in my life, mostly out of curiosity.

Sometimes you meet a cute boy and he asks for your phone number. It is new and exciting until he decides to text you for the first time at 3am saying, “Wanna make out?”. Square peg may not even be screwed in properly.

Other times you meet an average looking boy and he surprises you with wit and charm. You have lots of fun together and special exchanges of butterflies. Then you start to think that maybe what you wanted was a triangular peg after all.

You can change your mind all you want, but a triangle is not comfortable inside a circle.

Sometimes you can find bedazzled square pegs. These fancy ones are fun to keep around for entertainment purposes but does not necessarily make them fit better.

Other times you meet square pegs with round edges and it’s such a close match! Attraction, conversation, and availability. Yet something is missing that you can not explain.

And then one day you do find a circle peg! What a rush.

But sometimes the circle peg is not done meeting square holes.

And the cycle begins again.

The good thing is that this time you know how to recognize a circle from a square and you know that trying to make a square fit or trying to make a triangle appealing is just effort without results.

If you are really lucky, then you now also have the experience to realize that all these pegs can not do anything to change your shape, what fits you best, and what you deserve.

To summer flings and more,

Cleo

 

 

I grew up as an athlete and still carry the same “hard-core” mentality to this day. I do not claim to sit at the top of the bad-ass pyramid, however I dabble in my fair share of physical challenges and can keep up with some of the best.

Despite the half-marathons, ocean swims, and Equinox circuit workouts, the concept of a Mud Run has always interested me. What is not fun about getting dirty and tackling people? Or maybe hiking a mountain would be fun (but only with a guarantee of zero snake encounters). I have other friends that enjoy rock climbing, riding motorcycles, running ultramarathons, or going on wacky juice diets.

As much as I understand the appeal of a good challenge, I can not help but wonder if maybe we are all crazy. Life is already one huge obstacle course! What sense is there in adding MORE?

Living in LA has many challenges of its own. I plan my schedule around rush hour traffic, know that discovering street parking is close to a miracle, find that most people are rude unless trying to get something out of you, frequenting trendy bars and restaurants gets pricey, and most of the hottest men are gay.

Sculpting the body you want is a challenge. Getting over your first love is a challenge. Smiling while at work is a challenge. Being an entrepreneur is a challenge.

Not to mention that DATING is one huge challenge.

So why do we even try? Why don’t we all just eat brown rice and chicken, walk around the block, watch TV, and live alone forever?

Oprah would not accept this of you. This is not living! Being safe and mechanical is a waste of your amazing human brain.

So I am going to stop watching the Mud Run of Love from the sidelines. I am going to stop running circles on the treadmill of the same men. (Can I get an amen?) I am coming out of my dating comma even if that means I need to start online dating, hitting on guys at the gym, burning incense, or praying.

I am currently accepting blind date proposals from trusted sources.

Good luck to you!

Cleo

Follow me on Instagram! @cleoheartsyou

Sometimes I feel like a big Loser (note the capital letter).

I get caught up in country songs and try to apply them to my life. I want a Prince Charming of my own and I want him to have a big “horse.” I believe you could love me because I am the perfect mix of spicy and sweet. I give second and eighth chances because some people just need more time. And I really mean it when I say I miss you, so it extra sucks when you do not feel the same way.

I feel like a loser because so far my track record is full of endings! Oops! I look forward to things like napping, chai tea lattes, and a good cry. L-O-S-E-R.

But when I look at myself in the mirror, all those feelings melt away. And then it all comes rushing back to me and I remember how smart and successful and fun I am. So obviously I am not the loser, all those other men are!

For some reason I have never been afraid of the “L” (as in Love) word. If it is something I feel, then I am more afraid of not saying it. I can usually handle the rejection because I have so much love to give that my love now is most likely not my last. Unfortunately most people are not this way, so I guess I am a little bit scary! Loser times two.

However, I can not help but wonder if maybe I am just dating the wrong gender. I am pretty sure that my expressions of love and sweet gestures would sweep any lady off of her feet and we could listen to Brad Paisley together and buy “horses” together and talk about feelings and menstruation.

So maybe I am just a Loser because I am not in Love with a Lesbian?

(As a side note, I am fully aware that this post may scare off all men and I am okay with that.)

Do not stop fighting for love ladies and gents because if you do, my chances of finding it are much lower.

Thank you,

Cleo

Don’t let alcohol make you an accidental mommy. Happy belated Mother’s Day! x

Luv,

Cleo

If you did not attend my Valentine’s Day event, the title totally makes you regret it, huh?!

One definition of the word, orgy, is: excessive indulgence in a specified activity. Although we did not have a sexual orgy, we definitely had a “mingling” orgy.

The night started out great for me when I had tacos for dinner. Thanks Jaz!

Then, arrival at the Redbury Hotel. I had never been to this SBE venue before, but I was pleased to find that it is next door to what used to be one of my favorite gay clubs, TigerHeat.

Proceeding through the entrance, I instantly liked the dim lighting (this time of the year is when my skin is most pale) and elegant ambiance (to help encourage me not to drink like it’s a frat party).

The event was held at the hotel’s Library Bar, which is located upstairs from Cleo Restaurant (ironic). Here, my lovely Cleo followers began to congregate around our designated, VIP-only table where the paparazzi could not find us.

We started as a small group of ultra-hot ladies sippin’ on pomegranate-champagne concoctions while indulging in chocolate treats, talking about sex, describing the men of our dreams, petting each other’s hair, and other unmentionables. Then, as more people began to arrive, the energy picked up and the real games began… details of which are reserved for event goers only, *wink*.

I am proud to say that most of the people at the event were Cleo-induced and definitely the hottest, most fun, and well-rounded of the event were part of the Cleo clan. Thus, my favorite aspect of the night was definitely the crowd. We cleaned up nicely, put a smile on, and seized the idea of creating new opportunities. For that, I am very pleased.

In addition to a great crowd and ambiance, the venue also provided us with some creative and delicious cocktails and food. My favorite was the spicy, It’s Not Me, It’s You, cocktail pictured below.

However, as much as numbers and crowds are a major part of the social life business, I am definitely a quality over quantity type of gal. That being said, I want to raise to the surface the concept of Attendance vs. Presence.

Despite the radiant Cleo girls and boys at the event, some could not have been more disappointing. Why would you go to a singles event to slouch in the corner with a frown on your face and expect someone to come up to you and change your life? If this is you and you are not satisfied with the status of your dating or love life, I think I know why. If all you are willing to do is wait for something to happen, you may as well just stay home and watch Love Actually alone. Cleo events are for the fiery, go-getters of the world. In the survival of the fittest world of dating, attendance is not enough. How much presence do you have?

Stepping down from my soap box, I want to extend a huge THANK YOU to everyone that did come and show your support for love, Valentine’s Day, and Cleo (and everyone that wanted to). Cheers to us!

To view a complete list of all the best photos and to stay current with upcoming events, please click here or check out Cleo’s Facebook Page.

Thanks again and I wish you all the best! To quote Kelly Clarkson, “It doesn’t mean I’m lonely when I’m alone.”

xx,

Cleo

RIP whitney houston <3