Cleo's Dating Blog

Posts Tagged ‘Men

In the spirit of politics, I first want to say congratulations to me (and you) for actually voting when I was planning on skipping the whole thing.

Here in the States our right to vote, speak our mind, and make a contribution to national decisions is on the Top 5 list of most important things… along with In-N-Out Burger.

But thank goodness that my personal life is not a democracy! I very much prefer being a dictator. How terribly annoying would it be to need to take a popular vote every time you had to make a major decision? Deciding on kale salad or chicken sandwich for lunch would take forever!

Ironically enough, I tend to involve an entire department of self-appointed officials to help me with certain areas of my life. These decisions are almost always about boys. Why do you think he did this? What would you do if you were me? Why did that other guy do this but he won’t even do half of that? And on and on… and on.

In addition to my selected staff of helpers, outside volunteers like to throw in their two cents as well. “He’s definitely just playing you.” Yikes!

As a Libra, I enjoy listening to varied opinions to see if I may be overlooking valid arguments. Give me all the facts and then I will make a decision. When I am feeling fragile, however, the negative opinions can really bring me down or I notice how I dismiss them altogether and instead have selective hearing of only the positive.

What is the solution? No one else will ever understand the dynamic between you and your sweetheart as well as you do. Sometimes an outsiders opinion can add valuable perspective, but if you are in a relationship or dating someone where honesty and communication exist, involving all of your friends and your mother will only complicate things. Deep down inside your heart, you know what is going on. If not, that is something you should work out with your lover.

I guess this is a silly message coming from a girl with a dating blog! But I definitely notice more stability in my life when I choose to stick to what I believe is real instead of what everyone else tells me. No doubt, there will still be times when advice is necessary, but in your personal life, not all votes are equal and none matter more than your own.

Namaste,
Queen Cleo

 

The busy-with-work excuse is the oldest in the book (once you move out of your parents’ house and the curfew excuse no longer applies).

However, in Los Angeles it seems that everyone is “busy.” We all have jobs, projects, and events. Every week there is a birthday party, premiere, or drinks with friends. When is there time for love?

The secret, behind the “I’m too busy at work” excuse, is the founding principle that we are all capable of making time when we really want to. Those of us that ignore what we really want and do not make time are royally missing out.

Thus, when someone says, “I am so busy with work right now,” in essence they are saying, “I am busy BUT I am also not sure if you are important enough for me to rearrange my schedule,” OR “I am busy BUT I am also playing hard to get to see if you are really interested in me.” For example, just because gluten-free bread is better for you and comes in cinnamon-raisin flavor does not mean you will instantly be convinced to switch out your wheat loaf! People need added motivation when life is so hustle and bustle.

In the world of dating, therein lies the importance of a great first impression. We all do not have enough time to determine interest in another person after five or six dates. Usually all we get is one or two, if we are lucky. However sometimes a great first impression is not enough. Suitable matches can still be overlooked or missed.

I feel blessed to meet a lot of great guys, often. Yet, a challenge to living in LA is the high number of options. You may workout, have a good sense of humor, and like to party, but so do a majority of people living in this city. What is it that makes you and I a better match?

At the beginning, no one knows the answer to this question. All we have is our instinct to guide us. If someone is using the “busy with work” excuse on you, forcing it and blowing up their phone is not going to work! Find a different approach or try having some patience. Things that progress slowly always end up a little better anyway. Instead of rushing that first kiss and half bumping your forehead into her cheek, just wait until the time is right.

I am definitely one of those busy people that makes time for what I want. I like my projects, friends, and spending time with myself. I also want to get to know new people but not to the point of flipping my life upside down or adding extra stress to my routine… until the time comes that I deem you exceptional and worthy!

One of my projects is my LA based mobile app prototype called cLeoGo. She is a social, location-based mobile website that connects venues to users in real-time (use internet explorer on your smartphone). Your social life radar for which bars, restaurants, and cafes are hottest right now. Check her out! This is not a review site and should be only used while you are out. Signing up is free and easy.

I am also running a contest for the month of October where the #1 cLeoGo user and #1 person to refer new users will receive a free, professional car service for 5 hours on Halloween night or any night the following weekend. Treat yourself and up to 3 friends to a VIP evening of spook and spunk.

 

Welcome to Fall, fall sweaters, falling in love, and falling for cLeoGo.

Love,

Cleo

Sometimes I like to ask people when the last time they cried was.

If you asked me that question my answer would be: last week. I  may be above average on the emotional side or I also have this theory that I suffer from over-productive tear glands… but that’s better than over-productive ovaries!

The Brad Paisley Pandora station or a strong conversation about my parents could bring a tear to my eye. Usually it is thoughts about people I love that I must let go of, for one reason or another, that release the flood gates.

Am I an emotional wreck? Not at all. I smile, laugh, and feel peace more often any other emotion. Sometimes I cry from happiness or because of how much love I see around and within me.

I do not expect many people to experience the same levels as I do because, as we know, I am quite exceptional. Don’t hate!

When it comes to dating, I’ve realized that one quality that really draws me into a man is his ability to feel pain. Please do not mistake this for an attraction toward soft, weak, girly men. I am not the kind of girl that wants to play mommy with my lover. I am a mix of weak and strong, so if you are not as strong as I am, we will have a problem.

However, a man that takes emotional, mental, or love-related risks and consciously deals with the repercussions is someone I could find interesting for a long time. One thing that would instantaneously cross a guy off my list is the practice of floating. Floating over heartache as if nothing happened, floating in the shallow end of conversation, floating through women as if lust was the most fulfilling aspect of life. Emptiness is contagious and I am not looking for the easy way out.

“The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.” -Oliver Wilde

At first I was not sure of my opinion of this Oliver Wilde quote on the wall of Marquee Club in Las Vegas. I just thought it looked cool! Of course, you are entitled to your own interpretation, but to me this raises the idea that temptations, mistakes, failures, heart ache, etc. are not what hinder us. Instead, it is the inability to learn from and rid our lives of them that ultimately allows us to fall short of greatness.

If you are going through pain, do not shy away from feeling it. Embrace that other side of being human. If you are dating someone that floats above the ability to care, consider moving on. We are all fragile and need to be picky in what we feed ourselves. :)

To glutten-free dating,

Cleo

 

As far as I understand, when something does not fit well, you have two choices: shove it in OR give up. I tend to practice both philosophies in my life, mostly out of curiosity.

Sometimes you meet a cute boy and he asks for your phone number. It is new and exciting until he decides to text you for the first time at 3am saying, “Wanna make out?”. Square peg may not even be screwed in properly.

Other times you meet an average looking boy and he surprises you with wit and charm. You have lots of fun together and special exchanges of butterflies. Then you start to think that maybe what you wanted was a triangular peg after all.

You can change your mind all you want, but a triangle is not comfortable inside a circle.

Sometimes you can find bedazzled square pegs. These fancy ones are fun to keep around for entertainment purposes but does not necessarily make them fit better.

Other times you meet square pegs with round edges and it’s such a close match! Attraction, conversation, and availability. Yet something is missing that you can not explain.

And then one day you do find a circle peg! What a rush.

But sometimes the circle peg is not done meeting square holes.

And the cycle begins again.

The good thing is that this time you know how to recognize a circle from a square and you know that trying to make a square fit or trying to make a triangle appealing is just effort without results.

If you are really lucky, then you now also have the experience to realize that all these pegs can not do anything to change your shape, what fits you best, and what you deserve.

To summer flings and more,

Cleo

 

 

Whenever a man/boy/guy/gentleman/dude/douche offers to buy me something, there is always a little voice in the back of my mind that asks, “What will he require in return for this?”

Depending on how well I know the person and what the size of the gesture means to him, I will deduce an appropriate response.

For example, if a poor actor friend offers to take me to a fancy dinner, then I will take that as a grand gesture. On the flip side, if a super wealthy man offers to give me jewels and buy me designer clothes, I will take this as a medium, not-so-serious gesture and if a middle-class guy offers to get me Yogurtland, I will take this as a small gesture. (Offers are real and not fabricated.) Also, a good friend or coworker may not be thinking “SEX” if he buys me some drinks during a night out, but a stranger most likely will be. All of these factors influence my decisions.

Regardless, and I think I speak for most women, the following list are 10 things that women have the hardest time saying “No” to:

10. Would you like some cheesecake? My treat.

9. Would you like to skip the line and enter [insert venue name]  for free?

8. Would you like another skinny-girl margarita?

7. Would you like to go shopping and take my credit card?

6. Would you like me to talk about why all of the other girls around are not as pretty as you are?

5. Would you like some more bread? You are too skinny.

4. Would you like to watch a Ryan Gosling movie?

3. May I Instagram this photo of you and your friends?

2. Would you like to see other people while I patiently wait for you and only you?

1. May I please go down on you? ;)

Be careful of men that abuse our weaknesses! But giving in every once in awhile can be oh so much fun.

Have a playful weekend,

Cleo

I went to Whole Foods last night to get chicken noodle soup for my cute, little, sicky roommate. What was left was mostly broth so I played the damsel-in-distress card and asked them for a fresh batch. To my surprise, it comes pre-made! No wonder the recipe never took my breath away.

As I struggled to scoop the excessively long noodles out of the metal tin with a spoon (impossible!), my eyes gazed up and locked with Mr. Whole Foods Employee. Dark hair, dark eyes. Just how I like it! I could feel him focus on me from across the counter. Even though I was not sure why since I had wet hair and was wearing my least best outfit of the week and even though I am not typically attracted to the staff of grocery stores, I decided to ignore those thoughts and embrace the mutual energy.

Continuing to splash noodles all over myself, I turn to notice that dark-eyes has moved from the opposite end of the counter to the side closest to me. How ironic. As he helps an older woman wearing a fuchsia sweater, he strategically drops an empty sample cup right next to my foot. I smile, pick it up for him, and as our hands touch there was a spontaneous lightening storm inside the store. He says, “thank you” and I turn away.

Here comes the point when a decision must be made. Do I push through the initial moment of contact and progress to the next level or do I let it sweetly linger to be potentially continued later?

I went through a phase last year when I always pushed forward. I considered it “being brave”, and it was. I took risks and rushed moments. I tried to rapidly propel the growth of feelings and attraction.

Although a whirlwind of excitement, there is something to be said of interactions that progress organically. Taking one sweet moment at a time extends the life of each and we all know that these moments tend to be few and far between. The risk here is that a future encounter is not guaranteed.

Last night I chose organic. Small steps. Nothing may ever happen, but today my spirits are just slightly higher.

Often we try to create what we want out of something before it is ready. We lose some patience because we are all so anxious to get our hands around our dreams. I am totally guilty of this more times than I realize.

How organic are you? How much do you let life lead you?

Sometimes the best thing we can do is to just enjoy the ride.

Turns out that the most organic thing at Whole Foods is the staff.

Sincerely yours,

Cleo

People say this to me often.

“Why don’t you have a boyfriend?” What tends to follow is, “Just lower your standards a little.”

If I could lower my standards and be happy, don’t you think that I would just do it already? It’s not like I am trying to win a contest of who can stay single the longest. I would love to have someone that could watch movies with me and play with my hair.

For those of you that have known me for many years, you know that I have not always had high standards. I used to have lots of boyfriends because I would only look for a few, key qualities and ignore the rest. Usually if a guy was nice and treated me well, then that was enough.

My ability to ignore things has drastically decreased. I can no longer date men that play video games all day, drink themselves to a mushy physique, smell bad, have yellow teeth, embarrass themselves in public, cry a lot, dress like it’s still the 90’s, smoke a lot of “medicine”, have a different personality around friends, have small hands, do not like to cuddle, think driving really fast is cool, have a dry sense of humor, or have nothing interesting to say (these are all true).

I have lowered my standards before, but having the wrong boyfriend is worse than being single and lonely. When single, I spend my time thinking of ways to improve my life. Although occasionally rough for a person like me that loves companionship and the idea of love, at least I know I am improving. When I do not fully adore my boyfriend, my time is spent trying to convince myself that I am happy or that I have enough patience…or else I am thinking of the most strategic ways in which to end the relationship. Sad, I know.

I guess I am at that annoying stage in my life that middle-aged people always tell me to cherish. “I wish I had enjoyed my 20’s more!” Alright, but your 20’s kind of suck when you have no proven career, no authority in the workplace, no family, no money, no beach house, no swimming pool in your backyard, no nanny, and so many distractions. The opportunities are beautiful and boundless, but it is such a waiting game to see which ones will flourish and which ones will crash. One step at a time and hopefully 30 years from now I won’t regret anything major…

Chat soon,

Cleo