Cleo's Dating Blog

Posts Tagged ‘new years

Twas two nights after Christmas,

and all through her place,

not a cupcake was leftover,

not even a trace.

The stockings were never hung because her budget was bare,

and the California sun made it feel like summer was here.

The LA singles were nestled, alone in their beds,

not feeling sorry for themselves, because they knew love was not dead.

And our moms and our dads smiled at how we have grown,

because life is a journey, full of unknown.

The sounds from our iPhones created such a clatter.

Our family was calling, and that was all that really mattered.

With age came the realization that our Christmas wishlist need not be long.

Instead, all we need is the love of those who care about us, loyal and strong.

As the New Year approaches and looms over our heads,

We write resolutions- cook more and become more widely read.

Yet despite the things we would like to change,

Everything we need right now, tomorrow, and next year is already arranged.

So rather, we count our blessings and choose to be grateful.

After all, we can still fit into our jeans, and for that, I am thankful.

Happy New Year!!!

Love,

Cleo

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Just saying the phrase, “I am so high”, is admitting a lot. You are qualifying this moment as being different from most and your state of mind as being extremely heightened from the natural. When on a high, regular daily burdens melt away. You are lifted above them.

Wooo I am so high! How exciting!

photo by zach pizza

Okay, I may be a dork, but I am not actually talking about being on drugs. I am not talking about being “high on life” either because that phrase has always been too nerdy for me to identify with.

I have discovered a new form of high. I have put on my (non-lesbian) combat boots and am stomping through the challenges of life and it is making me high. Bam! Take that heartache. Take that annoying life nuances. Take that emotional struggle. I am stomping on you and I am winning!

I am high on growing up. The power of growing up is elevating me. I am not the same person as I was yesterday or last week or last holiday season. Why? Because I am getting to know myself… very well. I know more about what irks me, what type of person I want to be, and what I want to allow to influence my life. If I catch my life following the path of a reality show, I stomp on the Jersey Shore tendencies and take an opposite action. I want mature relationships. No more rumors or unnecessary drama. I do not want a poof in my hair.

I know more and more about how to combat the lows I faced this year. That in itself has earned me a gold goddess crown for 2011.  My muscles are bigger and lifting myself out next year ain’t no thang.

I wish the same for you. The moment you spend reading this, you are getting older. Let your maturity catch up so that you can enjoy it.

Muah,

Cleo

My plans almost never go according to plan.  It seems that those moments that I put forth extensive effort in planning are always the ones more likely to bomb and be disappointing while the spontaneous, let’s-go-on-an-adventure moments are often much more wildly enjoyable. There is nothing quite like plans falling through to make you realize how little control you really have on life. For example, most every birthday, New Year’s Eve, raspberry cheesecake, or sexy man date in my life tends to be more fun on paper than it actually turns out to be.

Why does life work this way?? I have been thinking about this question since 3am yesterday morning as my friend and I waited in the most godforsaken Jack in the Box drive-thru line of all time… What is it about hype and high expectations that has the potential to downgrade a perfectly acceptable experience into a less than memorable one? And why are those unexpected moments that you don’t plan often the best experiences?

Much like my recent post, Expectations v. Standards, I believe much of the issue has to deal with our subconscious expectations and hopes of exactly how we want a situation to turn out- that because we spent extra money, planned in advance, and waxed our legs, that this was sure to the be the craziest night of the year. As someone with an overactive imagination, I can easily understand the act of formulating a play-by-play of a situation before it has even occurred. How many times have you ever secretly hoped that tonight would be the night where you walk into a room, find a tall, dark, and handsome man staring your way, then later, conveniently run into him in a secluded corner to engage in [insert fantasy here]? Anyone?

I definitely used to be that girl with secret hopes of meeting a quality man every time I went out, or that girl who would countdown weeks to a special day only to find that it was not at all as I pictured. I am proud to say that I am no longer this way (most of the time). I spent too many days being disappointed to let that happen anymore. And how naive is it to believe that all your dreams will come true exactly when you want them to? Life is not a fairy tale and I blame childhood Disney movies for making me believe it could happen that way.

Although difficult, choosing to embrace whatever happens- whether everyone at the club is trashy, your friends flake, your car breaks down, your date is boring, it rains on your birthday, or you don’t get the booth at the restaurant- and making a conscious choice to enjoy each moment, you see that overall, life is funny. How stupid was it that I waited for over 40 minutes in line for 2, 99cent tacos? And not only that, that I was so aggravated at the time? So stupid yet so funny. It is those random moments in life that I love in hindsight.

What about when you get your hopes up about a new love interest? It is that honey moon faze, everything is fuzzy and warm, hazy elation all the time, kisses, cuddling, sexting… how do you keep from planning or expecting more in the future when nothing is guaranteed? Difficult question, but don’t worry readers, I believe I have an answer! It is actually simple- instead of planning what will happen, plan how you will react. If you and your lover are not meant to be, plan to be appreciative of the time you had, of what you learned, and how you are that much more prepared for the next. Plan to be happy that you had laughs, you had fun, and that you enjoyed being young. Plan to keep smiling, meeting new people, and maintaining healthy relationships.

Often there is that time, right before the honeymoon stage in a relationship begins to fade out, that insecurity in the stability of the relationship tends to sink in- at least for me. He used to always text me good morning, why not anymore? Is he over it? Did he meet someone else? When you feel this coming on, plan beforehand to stay light-hearted and level-headed. Instead of planning how many kids you will have, what your wedding dress will look like, and where you will buy a house together, plan to keep your zeal for adventure, thirst for love, and appreciation of others- no matter what. You can not control life, but you can control how you react to it.

In 2011, I am going to practice this everyday. I will plan to plan only those things I can control and let the rest be spontaneous, random, and unpredictable. I don’t know about you, but sounds delicious to me.

Hugs and Kisses,

Cleo

Much of my writing this year has been an experiment, a personal test of my writing abilities, creativity, and ideas. My first post ever over 9 months ago, entitled Los Angeles Men, was one of my most nerve-racking experiences. I had no idea how my peers would respond and if I had any type of potential to truly help, inspire, support, and relate to others. Although I am behind this virtual screen called WordPress, I still feel very much exposed with each post. Why? Because I put my heart, soul, and mind into everything I write. I was recently asked whether or not this blog is real- is it fiction or nonfiction? It is definitely nonfiction. I believe in everything I write and all my thoughts are based on real life experiences and conversations. Thus I can not begin to express my elation toward all my loyal followers. I love you all soooo much!! It means the world to me that you take the time to read what I have to say. However, I honestly believe that if you follow my advice and cater it to your own unique personality, you will, without a doubt, find success in dating, in being single, and being in a relationship.

I know what has proven to work for me, yet I am not a genius and I do not claim to know everything there is to know about dating. Thus, I would like to request a call to action from all of my readers… comment! I need your comments and other readers need your comments. We are a team in this journey of love and loneliness and a successful team must communicate. Wow… am I being too cheesy??? The marshmallow in me is coming out again!

Basically, I just wanted to take a moment to thank you for reading and encourage you to share your thoughts with me. I am excited for the new year and everything we will learn together!!

Yours Truly,

Cleo, the Conquistadora of Love

WOW, so much happened in 2010!! I moved, changed jobs, made new friends, kept old friends, spent money, traveled… and of course went on lots of dates! I learned so much this year and am thankful for all of you who followed and supported me along the way.

Cheers to a fantastic year! For me, 2010 was full of many “starting” points. Much of the year was dedicated to pursuing new endeavors and taking on new challenges. Compared to this time last year, my life has spun a complete 180 and only in the best of ways.

I am excited to see how my social/personal investments will pan out in the year to come and what dating adventures we can go on together! In order to be successful, we must not forget what this past year has taught us.

1. My main New Year’s Resolution of 2010 (besides limiting my alcohol content in public, hehe) was to stop being flaky. How can I hate on those who are flaky towards  me when I do the same? No one likes a hypocrite! In past years, I had issues with double-booking plans and committing to things I did not plan on doing. Cutting that behavior out has helped me be a more reliable friend and has yielded similar treatment in return.

2. Writing this blog has helped me to realize the importance of being self-aware. It is not an easy task to accomplish and often it requires getting feedback and criticism from others… which can feel like dry swallowing a pill but in the long run, is very beneficial.

3. Honesty is the best policy. I have always struggled in my ability to directly address confrontation. I get so worried in being misunderstood or considered a “bitch” that I often hold my feelings inside or beat around the bush when something is bothering me. Ironically, it is when I hold emotions in that eventually they build up to the point where I am undeniably bitchy. Ooops! Thus, this brings me to my New Years Resolutions of 2011:

1. Be more Direct. My tendency to avoid confrontation has always made me skeptical that I could survive in a city like New York or Chicago. I love the idea, but I’m always afraid of how people will react. I honestly believe I would have less friends if I said exactly what I thought or felt all the time. Thus in 2011, I am going to practice being more direct. If I approach it as an art, and try to be tactful, yet concise with my words, hopefully I won’t be spending the year counting my losses.

2. Dive into my goals. Well… I probably should work on defining my goals first. I have definitely had more of a “go-with-the-flow” type of attitude towards my ambitions this year. I could blame it on the state of the economy, the position of the stars, or my tarot cards (joke), but in reality I just did not know what I wanted. Someone once told me, “You will never know what you like until you figure out what you don’t like.” I have definitely progressed in figuring this out (especially with men) so this coming year should be a much more defined, purposeful year for me if I keep with it. It’s time to be more active about getting what I want.

3. Be more stubborn. Overall I try to be a very open-minded, flexible, tolerant person. For example, I support most social issues, enjoy trying new things, and love listening to varied opinions on most any issue. Yet when it comes to men, I think I am too flexible. For example, this past year I found that I often became attached to men who refused to have committed relationship- and thus it was something I compromised. Since I have a better idea of what I am looking for, I am going to be more stubborn in order to avoid wasting time and emotions.

What are your New Year aspirations? What would you like to see different about 2011? Invest time in yourself and think about. And then tell me because I would love to hear about it!!

All the Best,

Cleo

xoxo