Cleo's Dating Blog

Posts Tagged ‘patience

The busy-with-work excuse is the oldest in the book (once you move out of your parents’ house and the curfew excuse no longer applies).

However, in Los Angeles it seems that everyone is “busy.” We all have jobs, projects, and events. Every week there is a birthday party, premiere, or drinks with friends. When is there time for love?

The secret, behind the “I’m too busy at work” excuse, is the founding principle that we are all capable of making time when we really want to. Those of us that ignore what we really want and do not make time are royally missing out.

Thus, when someone says, “I am so busy with work right now,” in essence they are saying, “I am busy BUT I am also not sure if you are important enough for me to rearrange my schedule,” OR “I am busy BUT I am also playing hard to get to see if you are really interested in me.” For example, just because gluten-free bread is better for you and comes in cinnamon-raisin flavor does not mean you will instantly be convinced to switch out your wheat loaf! People need added motivation when life is so hustle and bustle.

In the world of dating, therein lies the importance of a great first impression. We all do not have enough time to determine interest in another person after five or six dates. Usually all we get is one or two, if we are lucky. However sometimes a great first impression is not enough. Suitable matches can still be overlooked or missed.

I feel blessed to meet a lot of great guys, often. Yet, a challenge to living in LA is the high number of options. You may workout, have a good sense of humor, and like to party, but so do a majority of people living in this city. What is it that makes you and I a better match?

At the beginning, no one knows the answer to this question. All we have is our instinct to guide us. If someone is using the “busy with work” excuse on you, forcing it and blowing up their phone is not going to work! Find a different approach or try having some patience. Things that progress slowly always end up a little better anyway. Instead of rushing that first kiss and half bumping your forehead into her cheek, just wait until the time is right.

I am definitely one of those busy people that makes time for what I want. I like my projects, friends, and spending time with myself. I also want to get to know new people but not to the point of flipping my life upside down or adding extra stress to my routine… until the time comes that I deem you exceptional and worthy!

One of my projects is my LA based mobile app prototype called cLeoGo. She is a social, location-based mobile website that connects venues to users in real-time (use internet explorer on your smartphone). Your social life radar for which bars, restaurants, and cafes are hottest right now. Check her out! This is not a review site and should be only used while you are out. Signing up is free and easy.

I am also running a contest for the month of October where the #1 cLeoGo user and #1 person to refer new users will receive a free, professional car service for 5 hours on Halloween night or any night the following weekend. Treat yourself and up to 3 friends to a VIP evening of spook and spunk.

 

Welcome to Fall, fall sweaters, falling in love, and falling for cLeoGo.

Love,

Cleo

One of my favorite past times is sweating. I love when I workout so hard that the sweat stings my eyes and drips into mouth and my shirt clings to my lower back like a sponge. This is purity in its highest form (second to abstinence, of course).

I have been cross-training and interval training for years. Intensity is a word that runs through my mind every time, whether or not I actually push to that level. What keeps me going when my body is hurting is the thought that I probably will not die, even though I feel like it.

Lately I have started to wonder, can your workout mentality leak into other areas of your life?

My theory is: yes.

Much like my exercise regimen, there are times that I tend to “go all out” in my love life and my work life. As if I only have 15 seconds left of spilt-squat jumps, I dig deep for that extra bit of patience, sweetness, ambition, discipline, compassion, or control until even my bones hurt. I ignore the pain and I keep plowing forward. I tell myself that I am not actually going to die.

Sometimes this is good. We all know that getting out of your comfort zone is the only way to accelerate growth.

However, sometimes this is bad. If we push too far past our limit we may sprain our ankle or dislocate our shoulder, in the emotional sense. This can be illustrated by the times when we try to make others jealous on purpose, get too drunk and make inappropriate phone calls, completely lose our sense of judgement, lash out in anger, get moody, get anxious and cry, stir the drama pot, or anything else that could get you casted on a Reality TV show.

Although I may be addicted to that climactic feeling when you finally reach the top of that steep hill in spin class, pushing this hard in your personal life is not sustainable. What is better is to remain consistent.

Taking steps toward your career goals or finding the love of your life is more similar to running a marathon than doing single-leg blurpies. Being ready and then giving up and then being ready and then giving up again is not healthy for any party involved. That is why going slow is always better. Give your endurance some time to build. Let things flow naturally like a pleasant dance and do less forcing.

September will be the month of casting my cares. Will you join me?

Namaste,

Cleo

 

As far as I understand, when something does not fit well, you have two choices: shove it in OR give up. I tend to practice both philosophies in my life, mostly out of curiosity.

Sometimes you meet a cute boy and he asks for your phone number. It is new and exciting until he decides to text you for the first time at 3am saying, “Wanna make out?”. Square peg may not even be screwed in properly.

Other times you meet an average looking boy and he surprises you with wit and charm. You have lots of fun together and special exchanges of butterflies. Then you start to think that maybe what you wanted was a triangular peg after all.

You can change your mind all you want, but a triangle is not comfortable inside a circle.

Sometimes you can find bedazzled square pegs. These fancy ones are fun to keep around for entertainment purposes but does not necessarily make them fit better.

Other times you meet square pegs with round edges and it’s such a close match! Attraction, conversation, and availability. Yet something is missing that you can not explain.

And then one day you do find a circle peg! What a rush.

But sometimes the circle peg is not done meeting square holes.

And the cycle begins again.

The good thing is that this time you know how to recognize a circle from a square and you know that trying to make a square fit or trying to make a triangle appealing is just effort without results.

If you are really lucky, then you now also have the experience to realize that all these pegs can not do anything to change your shape, what fits you best, and what you deserve.

To summer flings and more,

Cleo

 

 

I went to Whole Foods last night to get chicken noodle soup for my cute, little, sicky roommate. What was left was mostly broth so I played the damsel-in-distress card and asked them for a fresh batch. To my surprise, it comes pre-made! No wonder the recipe never took my breath away.

As I struggled to scoop the excessively long noodles out of the metal tin with a spoon (impossible!), my eyes gazed up and locked with Mr. Whole Foods Employee. Dark hair, dark eyes. Just how I like it! I could feel him focus on me from across the counter. Even though I was not sure why since I had wet hair and was wearing my least best outfit of the week and even though I am not typically attracted to the staff of grocery stores, I decided to ignore those thoughts and embrace the mutual energy.

Continuing to splash noodles all over myself, I turn to notice that dark-eyes has moved from the opposite end of the counter to the side closest to me. How ironic. As he helps an older woman wearing a fuchsia sweater, he strategically drops an empty sample cup right next to my foot. I smile, pick it up for him, and as our hands touch there was a spontaneous lightening storm inside the store. He says, “thank you” and I turn away.

Here comes the point when a decision must be made. Do I push through the initial moment of contact and progress to the next level or do I let it sweetly linger to be potentially continued later?

I went through a phase last year when I always pushed forward. I considered it “being brave”, and it was. I took risks and rushed moments. I tried to rapidly propel the growth of feelings and attraction.

Although a whirlwind of excitement, there is something to be said of interactions that progress organically. Taking one sweet moment at a time extends the life of each and we all know that these moments tend to be few and far between. The risk here is that a future encounter is not guaranteed.

Last night I chose organic. Small steps. Nothing may ever happen, but today my spirits are just slightly higher.

Often we try to create what we want out of something before it is ready. We lose some patience because we are all so anxious to get our hands around our dreams. I am totally guilty of this more times than I realize.

How organic are you? How much do you let life lead you?

Sometimes the best thing we can do is to just enjoy the ride.

Turns out that the most organic thing at Whole Foods is the staff.

Sincerely yours,

Cleo

I am thinking of changing my Facebook status to: in a relationship. It feels true.

Even before my parents first let me drive off in a teenage boy’s janky car to go to the movies and hold hands, I have dreamed of being “in love.” I am caring, fun, and all the other things so obviously I would make the best girlfriend. Plus, everything I read about Libras says that we are at our best when in relationships.

Despite all this, somehow I have been single most my life. Sometimes I like it, sometimes I do not, and sometimes I can not imagine a different lifestyle.

I have spent a lot of time dating, under all different types of circumstances. You know this, because you read my blog :). In doing so, the goal is to figure out what you want, what you like, and what you can handle.

What good is going on a date with the cocky guy from the bar just because he was creative in how he asked? Or going on a third date with a guy that you felt no sparks for just because he takes you to fun restaurants? Or staying in a relationship that is making you act crazy? Or hooking up with your ex again just because it is comfortable? If you know it is not working or that he is not the guy for you, why do it? (Insert the word girl as needed).

Comfort, distraction, boredom, desperation. None of these colors look good on anyone. Sorry, Demi Moore.

Based on past experience, I know what I want.  If you are at the same point as me, acting against that is not doing you any good. You may be sending the wrong message to the world. You may not be ready for what you want.

If you are not at the same point, dating is good. It is important to see what the world has to offer. Personally, dating showed me how many people I am NOT attracted to.

Sure, I still like to flirt and have fun, but I have come to a new conclusion. If I want a good guy one day, I need to act like a good girl.

Reflecting on my college years, I was pretty crazy. I wanted a perfect boyfriend yet found myself making out in the bathroom at parties… or dating my friend’s exes… or getting schwasted… or drunk dialing… or other things I will not put on my blog.

Then once out of college, I was subconsciously trying to distract my unhappiness with my jobs/life onto men. I wanted someone to make me happy because I was not doing well at it.

It makes so much more sense to me now why I was single. The me now would not have dated the me from back then! At least not seriously (I have always been hard to resist completely, *wink*).

Currently I am single, but I have never been happier. I still struggle with the question of, what do I want to be when I grow up? But I know this is normal.

Knowing what I want in a relationship and knowing what I have to offer makes me very happy. I am totally committed and entirely involved with my happiness. In fact, I am so involved that I am not going to let the wrong guy or the myth that being single is lonely screw it up. Patience and I are becoming best friends.

Often people ask me why I am single. I am single because being amazing is hard to match.

Recently a man walked by me and said, “Mmm, he is a lucky guy.” Besides being slightly creeped out, I thought, ” Well, whoever I end up with is going to make me a lucky girl also.”

Thus, I feel like I am in a relationship with myself and am content with the current status of my love life. I still have faith in magic and sparks and good love matches, but am in no hurry. I believe it is better to wait for the right person than be impatient and commit to turn the wrong person. Plus girl time is fun!

Good luck in all that you do.

Luv,

Cleo