Cleo's Dating Blog

Posts Tagged ‘planning

My writing has been published on another site, yay! Lucky for those of you who know my true identity, read away if you like…



My plans almost never go according to plan.  It seems that those moments that I put forth extensive effort in planning are always the ones more likely to bomb and be disappointing while the spontaneous, let’s-go-on-an-adventure moments are often much more wildly enjoyable. There is nothing quite like plans falling through to make you realize how little control you really have on life. For example, most every birthday, New Year’s Eve, raspberry cheesecake, or sexy man date in my life tends to be more fun on paper than it actually turns out to be.

Why does life work this way?? I have been thinking about this question since 3am yesterday morning as my friend and I waited in the most godforsaken Jack in the Box drive-thru line of all time… What is it about hype and high expectations that has the potential to downgrade a perfectly acceptable experience into a less than memorable one? And why are those unexpected moments that you don’t plan often the best experiences?

Much like my recent post, Expectations v. Standards, I believe much of the issue has to deal with our subconscious expectations and hopes of exactly how we want a situation to turn out- that because we spent extra money, planned in advance, and waxed our legs, that this was sure to the be the craziest night of the year. As someone with an overactive imagination, I can easily understand the act of formulating a play-by-play of a situation before it has even occurred. How many times have you ever secretly hoped that tonight would be the night where you walk into a room, find a tall, dark, and handsome man staring your way, then later, conveniently run into him in a secluded corner to engage in [insert fantasy here]? Anyone?

I definitely used to be that girl with secret hopes of meeting a quality man every time I went out, or that girl who would countdown weeks to a special day only to find that it was not at all as I pictured. I am proud to say that I am no longer this way (most of the time). I spent too many days being disappointed to let that happen anymore. And how naive is it to believe that all your dreams will come true exactly when you want them to? Life is not a fairy tale and I blame childhood Disney movies for making me believe it could happen that way.

Although difficult, choosing to embrace whatever happens- whether everyone at the club is trashy, your friends flake, your car breaks down, your date is boring, it rains on your birthday, or you don’t get the booth at the restaurant- and making a conscious choice to enjoy each moment, you see that overall, life is funny. How stupid was it that I waited for over 40 minutes in line for 2, 99cent tacos? And not only that, that I was so aggravated at the time? So stupid yet so funny. It is those random moments in life that I love in hindsight.

What about when you get your hopes up about a new love interest? It is that honey moon faze, everything is fuzzy and warm, hazy elation all the time, kisses, cuddling, sexting… how do you keep from planning or expecting more in the future when nothing is guaranteed? Difficult question, but don’t worry readers, I believe I have an answer! It is actually simple- instead of planning what will happen, plan how you will react. If you and your lover are not meant to be, plan to be appreciative of the time you had, of what you learned, and how you are that much more prepared for the next. Plan to be happy that you had laughs, you had fun, and that you enjoyed being young. Plan to keep smiling, meeting new people, and maintaining healthy relationships.

Often there is that time, right before the honeymoon stage in a relationship begins to fade out, that insecurity in the stability of the relationship tends to sink in- at least for me. He used to always text me good morning, why not anymore? Is he over it? Did he meet someone else? When you feel this coming on, plan beforehand to stay light-hearted and level-headed. Instead of planning how many kids you will have, what your wedding dress will look like, and where you will buy a house together, plan to keep your zeal for adventure, thirst for love, and appreciation of others- no matter what. You can not control life, but you can control how you react to it.

In 2011, I am going to practice this everyday. I will plan to plan only those things I can control and let the rest be spontaneous, random, and unpredictable. I don’t know about you, but sounds delicious to me.

Hugs and Kisses,