Posts Tagged ‘women’
In the spirit of politics, I first want to say congratulations to me (and you) for actually voting when I was planning on skipping the whole thing.
Here in the States our right to vote, speak our mind, and make a contribution to national decisions is on the Top 5 list of most important things… along with In-N-Out Burger.
But thank goodness that my personal life is not a democracy! I very much prefer being a dictator. How terribly annoying would it be to need to take a popular vote every time you had to make a major decision? Deciding on kale salad or chicken sandwich for lunch would take forever!
Ironically enough, I tend to involve an entire department of self-appointed officials to help me with certain areas of my life. These decisions are almost always about boys. Why do you think he did this? What would you do if you were me? Why did that other guy do this but he won’t even do half of that? And on and on… and on.
In addition to my selected staff of helpers, outside volunteers like to throw in their two cents as well. “He’s definitely just playing you.” Yikes!
As a Libra, I enjoy listening to varied opinions to see if I may be overlooking valid arguments. Give me all the facts and then I will make a decision. When I am feeling fragile, however, the negative opinions can really bring me down or I notice how I dismiss them altogether and instead have selective hearing of only the positive.
What is the solution? No one else will ever understand the dynamic between you and your sweetheart as well as you do. Sometimes an outsiders opinion can add valuable perspective, but if you are in a relationship or dating someone where honesty and communication exist, involving all of your friends and your mother will only complicate things. Deep down inside your heart, you know what is going on. If not, that is something you should work out with your lover.
I guess this is a silly message coming from a girl with a dating blog! But I definitely notice more stability in my life when I choose to stick to what I believe is real instead of what everyone else tells me. No doubt, there will still be times when advice is necessary, but in your personal life, not all votes are equal and none matter more than your own.
Namaste,
Queen Cleo
Sometimes I like to ask people when the last time they cried was.
If you asked me that question my answer would be: last week. I may be above average on the emotional side or I also have this theory that I suffer from over-productive tear glands… but that’s better than over-productive ovaries!
The Brad Paisley Pandora station or a strong conversation about my parents could bring a tear to my eye. Usually it is thoughts about people I love that I must let go of, for one reason or another, that release the flood gates.
Am I an emotional wreck? Not at all. I smile, laugh, and feel peace more often any other emotion. Sometimes I cry from happiness or because of how much love I see around and within me.
I do not expect many people to experience the same levels as I do because, as we know, I am quite exceptional. Don’t hate!
When it comes to dating, I’ve realized that one quality that really draws me into a man is his ability to feel pain. Please do not mistake this for an attraction toward soft, weak, girly men. I am not the kind of girl that wants to play mommy with my lover. I am a mix of weak and strong, so if you are not as strong as I am, we will have a problem.
However, a man that takes emotional, mental, or love-related risks and consciously deals with the repercussions is someone I could find interesting for a long time. One thing that would instantaneously cross a guy off my list is the practice of floating. Floating over heartache as if nothing happened, floating in the shallow end of conversation, floating through women as if lust was the most fulfilling aspect of life. Emptiness is contagious and I am not looking for the easy way out.
“The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.” -Oliver Wilde
At first I was not sure of my opinion of this Oliver Wilde quote on the wall of Marquee Club in Las Vegas. I just thought it looked cool! Of course, you are entitled to your own interpretation, but to me this raises the idea that temptations, mistakes, failures, heart ache, etc. are not what hinder us. Instead, it is the inability to learn from and rid our lives of them that ultimately allows us to fall short of greatness.
If you are going through pain, do not shy away from feeling it. Embrace that other side of being human. If you are dating someone that floats above the ability to care, consider moving on. We are all fragile and need to be picky in what we feed ourselves. :)
To glutten-free dating,
Cleo
Whenever a man/boy/guy/gentleman/dude/douche offers to buy me something, there is always a little voice in the back of my mind that asks, “What will he require in return for this?”
Depending on how well I know the person and what the size of the gesture means to him, I will deduce an appropriate response.
For example, if a poor actor friend offers to take me to a fancy dinner, then I will take that as a grand gesture. On the flip side, if a super wealthy man offers to give me jewels and buy me designer clothes, I will take this as a medium, not-so-serious gesture and if a middle-class guy offers to get me Yogurtland, I will take this as a small gesture. (Offers are real and not fabricated.) Also, a good friend or coworker may not be thinking “SEX” if he buys me some drinks during a night out, but a stranger most likely will be. All of these factors influence my decisions.
Regardless, and I think I speak for most women, the following list are 10 things that women have the hardest time saying “No” to:
10. Would you like some cheesecake? My treat.
9. Would you like to skip the line and enter [insert venue name] for free?
8. Would you like another skinny-girl margarita?
7. Would you like to go shopping and take my credit card?
6. Would you like me to talk about why all of the other girls around are not as pretty as you are?
5. Would you like some more bread? You are too skinny.
4. Would you like to watch a Ryan Gosling movie?
3. May I Instagram this photo of you and your friends?
2. Would you like to see other people while I patiently wait for you and only you?
1. May I please go down on you? ;)
Be careful of men that abuse our weaknesses! But giving in every once in awhile can be oh so much fun.
Have a playful weekend,
Cleo
How Organic Are You?
Posted on: June 20, 2012
I went to Whole Foods last night to get chicken noodle soup for my cute, little, sicky roommate. What was left was mostly broth so I played the damsel-in-distress card and asked them for a fresh batch. To my surprise, it comes pre-made! No wonder the recipe never took my breath away.
As I struggled to scoop the excessively long noodles out of the metal tin with a spoon (impossible!), my eyes gazed up and locked with Mr. Whole Foods Employee. Dark hair, dark eyes. Just how I like it! I could feel him focus on me from across the counter. Even though I was not sure why since I had wet hair and was wearing my least best outfit of the week and even though I am not typically attracted to the staff of grocery stores, I decided to ignore those thoughts and embrace the mutual energy.
Continuing to splash noodles all over myself, I turn to notice that dark-eyes has moved from the opposite end of the counter to the side closest to me. How ironic. As he helps an older woman wearing a fuchsia sweater, he strategically drops an empty sample cup right next to my foot. I smile, pick it up for him, and as our hands touch there was a spontaneous lightening storm inside the store. He says, “thank you” and I turn away.
Here comes the point when a decision must be made. Do I push through the initial moment of contact and progress to the next level or do I let it sweetly linger to be potentially continued later?
I went through a phase last year when I always pushed forward. I considered it “being brave”, and it was. I took risks and rushed moments. I tried to rapidly propel the growth of feelings and attraction.
Although a whirlwind of excitement, there is something to be said of interactions that progress organically. Taking one sweet moment at a time extends the life of each and we all know that these moments tend to be few and far between. The risk here is that a future encounter is not guaranteed.
Last night I chose organic. Small steps. Nothing may ever happen, but today my spirits are just slightly higher.
Often we try to create what we want out of something before it is ready. We lose some patience because we are all so anxious to get our hands around our dreams. I am totally guilty of this more times than I realize.
How organic are you? How much do you let life lead you?
Sometimes the best thing we can do is to just enjoy the ride.
Turns out that the most organic thing at Whole Foods is the staff.
Sincerely yours,
Cleo
Girl, You Need a Boyfriend
Posted on: June 16, 2012
People say this to me often.
“Why don’t you have a boyfriend?” What tends to follow is, “Just lower your standards a little.”
If I could lower my standards and be happy, don’t you think that I would just do it already? It’s not like I am trying to win a contest of who can stay single the longest. I would love to have someone that could watch movies with me and play with my hair.
For those of you that have known me for many years, you know that I have not always had high standards. I used to have lots of boyfriends because I would only look for a few, key qualities and ignore the rest. Usually if a guy was nice and treated me well, then that was enough.
My ability to ignore things has drastically decreased. I can no longer date men that play video games all day, drink themselves to a mushy physique, smell bad, have yellow teeth, embarrass themselves in public, cry a lot, dress like it’s still the 90’s, smoke a lot of “medicine”, have a different personality around friends, have small hands, do not like to cuddle, think driving really fast is cool, have a dry sense of humor, or have nothing interesting to say (these are all true).
I have lowered my standards before, but having the wrong boyfriend is worse than being single and lonely. When single, I spend my time thinking of ways to improve my life. Although occasionally rough for a person like me that loves companionship and the idea of love, at least I know I am improving. When I do not fully adore my boyfriend, my time is spent trying to convince myself that I am happy or that I have enough patience…or else I am thinking of the most strategic ways in which to end the relationship. Sad, I know.
I guess I am at that annoying stage in my life that middle-aged people always tell me to cherish. “I wish I had enjoyed my 20’s more!” Alright, but your 20’s kind of suck when you have no proven career, no authority in the workplace, no family, no money, no beach house, no swimming pool in your backyard, no nanny, and so many distractions. The opportunities are beautiful and boundless, but it is such a waiting game to see which ones will flourish and which ones will crash. One step at a time and hopefully 30 years from now I won’t regret anything major…
Chat soon,
Cleo
Sometimes I feel like a big Loser (note the capital letter).
I get caught up in country songs and try to apply them to my life. I want a Prince Charming of my own and I want him to have a big “horse.” I believe you could love me because I am the perfect mix of spicy and sweet. I give second and eighth chances because some people just need more time. And I really mean it when I say I miss you, so it extra sucks when you do not feel the same way.
I feel like a loser because so far my track record is full of endings! Oops! I look forward to things like napping, chai tea lattes, and a good cry. L-O-S-E-R.
But when I look at myself in the mirror, all those feelings melt away. And then it all comes rushing back to me and I remember how smart and successful and fun I am. So obviously I am not the loser, all those other men are!
For some reason I have never been afraid of the “L” (as in Love) word. If it is something I feel, then I am more afraid of not saying it. I can usually handle the rejection because I have so much love to give that my love now is most likely not my last. Unfortunately most people are not this way, so I guess I am a little bit scary! Loser times two.
However, I can not help but wonder if maybe I am just dating the wrong gender. I am pretty sure that my expressions of love and sweet gestures would sweep any lady off of her feet and we could listen to Brad Paisley together and buy “horses” together and talk about feelings and menstruation.
So maybe I am just a Loser because I am not in Love with a Lesbian?
(As a side note, I am fully aware that this post may scare off all men and I am okay with that.)
Do not stop fighting for love ladies and gents because if you do, my chances of finding it are much lower.
Thank you,
Cleo
I Want To Fall On My Face
Posted on: April 28, 2012
If you have ever been in love, it is kind of like someone kicking you in the shins with a shoe made of brick. Naturally, you fall down.
Ouch. Bruised and injured, it can be hard to get back up. Now you know what love feels like. You are changed.
Not that I have one, but I can only assume that it is similar to getting a tattoo. The pain and the anguish is nearly unbearable, yet exhilarating nonetheless. A voluntary suffering. Things that once used to cause pain- toe-stubbing, paper cuts, hair-pulling- no longer have as tight a grip on your threshold. You are a stronger person now and you have the scars to prove it. You are hardcore.
Maybe falling in love is also like childbirth. If the end result were not worth the pain, than I would not be here today.
It takes but a moment for love to kick your footing out from under you, yet quite possibly an eternity to regain yourself. But once you do and once the pain of heartache, tatoos, or birth subside… all you want is another.
Herein lies my current situation with dating.
I have done mediocre dating, I have done just for fun dating, I have done good but not great dating. However, now that I have done fall on my butt, head over heels dating, all I want is someone that will pull the ground out from under me even harder. Catch me off guard! I want to fall on my pretty-little face.
As if I was not picky enough before, I seem to be patiently waiting for the guy with enough potential to floor me. Make me fall. Infect my thoughts. Drive me crazy. If I am still standing, if I am still rational, if I am still breathing, than you are not the one for me.
I am not attracted to passive. Let me see you being extraordinary. I want to fall on my face.
And the beat goes on,
Cleo
My Prerogative With “Free Stuff”
Posted on: April 17, 2012
Social norms of this city dictate that women gain entrance into nightclubs without charge and wait in shorter or nonexistent lines. Women get drinks bought for them, dinners, flowers, designer bags, nose jobs, and sometimes cars. Los Angeles is a city run by money and contain many people with bank accounts too large for their own good.
free flowers just for smiling!
From an outsider’s perspective it sounds pretty awesome, right? Free stuff for doing nothing! Sharing the wealth IS a great concept, sign me up.
As a writer/blogger that likes to eat out and go to fancy gyms and wear stylish outfits, I’m pretty broke. I have to avoid shopping centers, unnecessary Groupon deals, and online shoe sales in order to keep a roof over my head and food in my cat’s bowl. Thus the appeal of a free meal is high for someone of my non-trust fund status.
I’m sure that every girl that has flaunted red lipstick and shown some leg has her share of crazy proposals. Mine? Trips to Hawaii, Miami, Dallas, Big Sur, and New York, a Chanel bag, $250 cash, spa days, 7 billboards with my face on it, housing in a 15 room mansion, and a puppy are probably my top thus far. And since I have been single and unattached for a really long time, these are all from men I am not romantically involved.
Of these proposals I have only accepted one (not telling you which!). Even though I did nothing but share my time, receiving an unearned gift made me feel like a dirty pirate hooker. That is when I vowed never to be a gold-digger and to maintain a sense of dignity no matter how shiny an object dangling in front of me may be.
Although there are so many random men that can afford to bribe young women, their generosity or hidden agenda is not mine to judge. Some men really do just want to share. Others want to project an image of power to hide their insecurities. Others are bored and want attention. And still others are so accustomed to their lavish ways that life has lost perspective.
More importantly however, what is accepting these gifts saying about the receiver? It is one thing to have free things offered to you. It is quite another to accept.
I struggle to respect women that accept free stuff for the sole purpose of feeding one’s ego, personal gain, feeling entitled, or laziness to rightfully earn something independently. The mentality of let’s see what I can get is gross. There is a power and tremendous sense of self that comes with the phrase, “No.” I may not be going to Hawaii for free next week, but at least I won’t have to deal with undesired sexual passes, a sense of dependence, the discounting of my intellect, or the sacrifice of personal integrity.
What kind of woman do you want to be?
Happy Spring-time,
Cleo
A New Occasion to Celebrate
Posted on: April 13, 2012
Last night I went to a bridal shower. We ate yummy food, said nice things to each other, and smiled a lot. The bride-to-be was glowing. There were gifts. We played games. No one was texting on their phone. No one was downing wine to cut the edge.
Love. What a great thing to celebrate.
However, this got me thinking. We gladly come together for the celebration of love, but what about all the other great things in life? What about independence, freedom, maturity, and security of self? These things are just as hard to find as true love and just as crucial in achieving a happy life.
Thus I propose that we create another reason to celebrate. When a relationship ends and a break-up happens, we should celebrate with a Single’s Shower.
This does not mean bring out the cookie dough tub and cry in it. This does not mean drink until you feel okay with drunk dialing your ex.
Being strong enough to leave a relationship that is not healthy takes courage. Knowing when enough is enough takes wisdom. Refusing to settle for less than what you deserve takes discipline. Loving someone enough to let them go takes selflessness. Ending a relationship without drama takes maturity.
Striving to be courageous, wise, disciplined, selfless, and mature is deserving of a party in my opinion!
We shower the bride with gifts to prepare her for the journey ahead and to celebrate her accomplishments thus far. The single gal should receive the same welcome. The close of a relationship is the start of a new chapter just like that of getting married.
Congregate with friends, snack on salad and finger food, drink moscato, reminisce on how much you have grown up, play games, leave your phone in your purse, and party. You are a liberated and independent person. You are complete and whole whether you are in a relationship or not. Do a little dance. Have faith in the future. Open door number two.
To all the brides and future-brides,
Cleo
