Cleo's Dating Blog

Posts Tagged ‘writing

If I had a reality show, we could all watch the clip from a few nights ago of that-guy-at-the-bar-that-was-trying-too-hard… even the valet people outside felt sorry for him.

For as long as I can remember, I have had a thing for bartenders. I’m not even sure why, but my friends could vouch that this is in fact, true. Therefore, if I have the opportunity to eat dinner at a restaurant’s bar as a hot man leans over me to set down my utensils and take my order, I jump on it. It’s much easier to flirt when bartender-man is stuck behind a counter and I can “accidentally” stare at him all night.

This week, my girlfriend and I go to a new place for dinner and there are two lovey bar stools available, as if my Libra stars aligned and reserved them for us. I asked the man to the left if the seat was taken, because I wanted to be polite.

“Yes,” he said. “I was saving it for you.”

Eeerk. Stop there. Now if Ryan Gosling or his look-a-like said this, then no problem! Sign me up for this chair next to you. However,  that was not at all the case and instead sleep-deprived, lanky, overly-eager man who was probably a mathlete in high school made googly eyes at me and I felt dirty.

Thus, I sat my body as far right on my chair as possible to create the greatest amount of distance between us and slightly turned my back to him.

“Are you an actress?” I hear coming from my left. My mind literally debates if the restaurant is loud enough to where I could pretend I did not hear him. Unfortunately, it is not.

“No.” I wanted to stop at that but felt bad and added, “why did you think that?” and a half smile.

He goes on to explain that I give off an actress vibe because I am proper and sit up straight. I say, “Hmmm, that’s interesting,” and I tell him that I am a writer. However, what I am actually thinking is, I wonder if he can tell that I’m praying he stops talking. I turn away as soon as there is a lull, pretending I am thirsty.

conversation diversion

Saved to breathe another moment of silence. Until…

“So what name can I look for online when you become famous?”

I now have to turn a complete 180 to face him, since I was leaning as far away as physically feasible. I strain my neck and tell him how I go by Cleo online (holla!).

Long story short, I avoid further conversation and could not help but wonder how nice to would be if his friend next to him had the balls to say, “hey man, you’re wasting your time. She’s not interested.”

Too often friends stay quiet when they should take a stand and speak out! If your boy is making a fool of himself, save him. Wouldn’t you want someone to do the same for you?

I know I definitely appreciate when my girlfriends warn me when I’m being too flirtatious! Sometimes in a social setting with a little liquid courage, the line between being playful and embarrassing can be a little blurry, at least for me.

There is a site floating around online called Comiingle, where you can help your friends with dating. This is the new way to approach dating online… kind of how unfriending someone on Facebook is the new way to stop dating someone without saying anything.

Comiingle is good because users can get a third, fourth, eighth, or twentieth opinion before having to go on that awkward blind date, meet that girl that used a picture from 10 years ago, or that guy that lied about his profession and income. Friends can also steer you clear of hazardous suitors.

Additionally, Comiingle gives you access to wing-men and wing-women! Despite my misfortune with bar stool neighbor, I was lucky that my girlfriend broke the ice with bartender-man and asked him his birthday so that we could figure out his zodiac sign (Cancer, btw). I was actually not going to spark conversation because I did not feel it was organic at the time and would have been forced. Thank goodness god invented wing-people to give us a shove in the right direction when we feel frozen.

Be a good friend and help your friends out with their dating woes when necessary, even when not asked. And use your resources! That is why Cleo, Comiingle, and all the other dating tools exist. We are here to help.

Mucho amor,

Cleonita

Want to see some naked pictures??

There is a reason why Kim Kardassian made a sex tape and why the Jersey Shore cast are rich and famous. Quality is not what rules media, sex and drama sell, and just because you have something great to say doesn’t mean people will choose that over this week’s TMZ.

It has taken me a decent amount of time to build up my medium-sized, quality-driven following. So you can imagine my secret frustration when my never-would-have-thought-about-blogging-if-it-wasn’t-for-me ex started a blog… and got more viewers his first week than I did in my first year!

I know my blog has great writing, complex ideas wrapped in shiny bows, and the charming likes of myself. However, he got it right in putting shirtless photos of himself! (And let’s be honest, I dated him for a reason).

Which brings me to my next point, if you clicked on this post when you normally don’t bother reading my blog, think about what that may imply about you. But hey! No judgement, I read crap online for fun too. I just thought you should know.

Anyway, you can make it up to me by watching my new video. Maybe I’m naked in it!

(Huge thank you to Zach Pizza and The Way Home podcast).

I may be bitter but I still love you,

Cleo

Myself

Posted on: July 21, 2011

Have I been too focused on myself,

that I didn’t notice you were upset?

I didn’t know my words had hurt you,

that I even made you cry.

–//–

Have I been too focused on myself,

that I forgot to support you?

Your happiness means so much to me,

how could I neglect being there when you needed me.

–//–

Have I been too focused on myself,

that I failed to laugh with you?

Some of the best moments of my life were spent laughing with you,

how could I forget that.

–//–

Have I been too focused on myself,

that I didn’t realize I’ve been running?

I’ve been trying so hard to stay busy,

to forget that I feel lonely.

–//–

Have I been too focused on myself,

that I convinced myself I don’t need you?

I want to believe that I can live this life without help,

that all I need is myself and no one else.

–//–

Have I been too focused on myself,

that I no longer participate in the quest for love?

I wonder if there is a point to meeting someone new,

if it is just going to end anyway.

–//–

Have I been too focused on myself,

that I hardly see the world around?

Or maybe LA is changing me,

and this is exactly how I should be.

I find my mind rewriting my past.

Not out of regret,

but mostly out of curiousity,

and a little out of longing.

–//–

If my past had been different,

my today could be different.

I could be different,

More wise,

Less weak.

–//–

If my parents had only been less critical,

Maybe I would not have to work so hard at being confident.

If I had only picked better friends when I was young,

Maybe I would have known what being a Goddess felt like sooner.

If I had been less submissive and more tenatious,

Maybe I would know more about how to get what I want out of this life.

If I had spent less time partying and more time connecting,

Maybe I would have less friendships that fell through.

If I had been a better listener to myself,

Maybe I would have declared my life passions earlier.

–//–

Despite these thoughts,

Nothing could be better than this moment right NOW.

I am not broken, I am not scared, and I am ready for more.

Maybe things would be different today if I could rewrite the past.

but the chance to write the future supersedes all that.

xx,

C

I am two years out of college. Actualizing that in my mind is strange. It feels like it’s been ten, long, unpredictable, and eventful years (but I definitely don’t look that way, wink*).

Generally speaking, my college experience was probably similar to most. I was always surrounded by friends, always meeting new people, and always planning and looking forward to the next big get together. Most of my meals were eaten in groups, a week did not go by where someone did not crash on our couch, I never woke up to an empty apartment, and there was always someone willing to play beer pong with you, no matter what time of day. We studied together, watched Gossip Girl together, abused our livers together, and laughed together- always so much laughter. I never felt lonely, never felt bored (unless I was in class), and never had trouble finding someone to share a memory with.

Graduating and entering the working world was a harsh reality shake. Looking back on my life after college thus far, I struggled. Before I could say, “cheers, we graduated!”, I was working a 9-5 job, eating my meals alone, being bored out of my mind, and not making many new friends. I spent more time in my car by myself than I ever had before and had less motivation to be social than I had before. Hanging out was no longer spontaneous and had to be planned, being randomly hung over all day was now much more painful, and skipping work was not nearly as easy as skipping class.

Since I am very much a mind-over-matter type of gal, at the time, I refused to believe that I was not happy. It was not that I wanted to go back to the college years, I just missed that family feel. I have an old soul so I liked the idea of growing up, but I did not like the idea of not having a steady support group to share  it with.

On top of it all, single felt so much different than it used to! Single used to mean that I had too many options to choose from and was readily available for new ones at any moment. Now single felt like a synonym for lonely and a precursor to a spinster, old cat lady lifestyle.

As I said, it has been two years and I am only starting to adjust. However, I know I am not alone in this struggle. How? Because I see a lot more sad eyes in the working world than I ever did in college. I believe many people are struggling at this very moment, but without a known solution, we learn to deal with it instead of change it.

In college things just happen and outside factors are constantly pushing us forward. We flow to this party, drink too much, then flow home… the next day. We attend class, are told exactly what to do, do it, and then repeat. Our four years are planned in advance down to the very hour, we have a good idea what life will be like in the next few months, and we are not concerned with being unemployed or not having health insurance. As long as there is Plan B then there is nothing to worry about! (totally joking)…

In post college life, there is no set path. Anything could happen or nothing could happen and it is all up to you. It is up to you if you have a job. It is up to you if you stay in a job you don’t like of if you choose to pursue a job you do like. It is up to you to set your own goals, challenge yourself, and keep learning. It is up to you where you live, how much money you save, and who you chose to spend time with. It is up to you to put the effort into meeting new people, maintaining relationships, and creating a network of like-minded people. It is up to you if you chose to feel lonely or do something to change that.

There is no blueprint or case study. No one’s path will mirror your own. Nothing is guaranteed. So how are we supposed to know what to do?

Stay true to yourself and follow your intuition. Figure out what is important to you, and go after it zealously. Don’t get comfortable with mediocre. Cut yourself slack… if you are not making mistakes, then you are not trying.

I have made large changes in my life recently. For example, I quit a steady job to pursue writing, am selecitvely choosing a fantastic group of goddesses to surround myself with, have decided to be nothing but myself in every situation (especially with men!), and have made up my mind to fight for what I want (assuming I figure out what that is).

Although the future is unstable, deep down I feel a sense of peace knowing that I am not taking life lightly. Even on days when June gloom makes it hard to get out of bed, I feel my savings account slowly dwindling, and my love life looks like a huge zero on paper, I know I am growing and heading somewhere positive.

Growing up is hard! But if we do it together as a collective group of unique  individuals, it really can be exciting to realize how much power you have on the outcome of your life.

Luvy,

Cleo xx

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My writing has been published on another site, yay! Lucky for those of you who know my true identity, read away if you like…

http://www.networktalentcommunity.com/articles/_/wealth/

Love,

Cleo