Cleo's Dating Blog

Posts Tagged ‘risks

My favorite types of people have always been the ones that shock me. The more witty, insightful, wild, poetic, or vulgar you are… the more I probably like you. I possess an inherent dislike for all things boring. If you are not grabbing my attention, you are probably losing it. No wonder why I love the gays!

As with everything however, there must be a balance. Please do not shock me by how much you can talk, how rude you are, how bad you smell, or how many of my texts you can ignore. I tend to steer clear of the shockingly passive-aggressive or overly-argumentative people as well. I just want to have fun.

Even with all the ways in which you can get to know someone, it is still a challenge to deduce exactly what type of person a friend, lover, coworker, booty call, or neighbor may be. An individual may be fun and witty, but add two-faced and manipulative to the mix and I will put you in the trash pile. (Have you seen the TV show Hoarders? Bam! Here today, gone tomorrow).

We all go through phases and we all [are supposed to] grow up from time-to-time… Lord, do I know this! By no means do I expect perfection.

I am a person that likes to take career risks, love risks, and to embrace creative projects. I do not want to limit myself to a few skills or memories, I want many! As exciting as this is, it is almost just as fun to see how the people in my life respond.

When toying with an idea I am unsure of or debating whether or not to make a change in my life, there are definitely some people I can count on for endless support. There are others that will provide great perspective. There are some that will have virtually no input. However, it is always shocking to me to see who the negative, doubtful, and discouraging ones are.

This is when I decide that there are people I would rather just keep secrets from. I always feel obligated to be 100% honest when someone asks, “What’s new?” or, “How are things going?” I hate generic, one-word answers. BORING. I want to tell them exactly what is going in my mind, what new endeavors are happening, why I think I’m in love, and what my dream was about last night. Nonetheless, it is true that replacing my impulses responses with mundane answers such as, “Good, you?” are necessary at times.

This little open book is becoming more selective. Inclusion into the secret Cleo club is by invitation only.

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I encourage you to be choosy in who you allow to participate in your inner life. Having secrets can be fun and can help keep you on track to happiness.

Sincerely Yours,

Cleo

One of my favorite past times is sweating. I love when I workout so hard that the sweat stings my eyes and drips into mouth and my shirt clings to my lower back like a sponge. This is purity in its highest form (second to abstinence, of course).

I have been cross-training and interval training for years. Intensity is a word that runs through my mind every time, whether or not I actually push to that level. What keeps me going when my body is hurting is the thought that I probably will not die, even though I feel like it.

Lately I have started to wonder, can your workout mentality leak into other areas of your life?

My theory is: yes.

Much like my exercise regimen, there are times that I tend to “go all out” in my love life and my work life. As if I only have 15 seconds left of spilt-squat jumps, I dig deep for that extra bit of patience, sweetness, ambition, discipline, compassion, or control until even my bones hurt. I ignore the pain and I keep plowing forward. I tell myself that I am not actually going to die.

Sometimes this is good. We all know that getting out of your comfort zone is the only way to accelerate growth.

However, sometimes this is bad. If we push too far past our limit we may sprain our ankle or dislocate our shoulder, in the emotional sense. This can be illustrated by the times when we try to make others jealous on purpose, get too drunk and make inappropriate phone calls, completely lose our sense of judgement, lash out in anger, get moody, get anxious and cry, stir the drama pot, or anything else that could get you casted on a Reality TV show.

Although I may be addicted to that climactic feeling when you finally reach the top of that steep hill in spin class, pushing this hard in your personal life is not sustainable. What is better is to remain consistent.

Taking steps toward your career goals or finding the love of your life is more similar to running a marathon than doing single-leg blurpies. Being ready and then giving up and then being ready and then giving up again is not healthy for any party involved. That is why going slow is always better. Give your endurance some time to build. Let things flow naturally like a pleasant dance and do less forcing.

September will be the month of casting my cares. Will you join me?

Namaste,

Cleo

 

I really like pumpkin pie and banana cream pie. I’m not too into apple pie or pecan pie.

Regardless, I am always sad when my dessert of choice is gone. The sweetness never lasts long enough! I am not ashamed of licking my plate.

Even sharing dessert can sometimes be challenging for me. It is a hard life that I lead.

Whether or not you share in the same struggle of mastering your sweet tooth as I do, we are all lucky that things like beauty and success do not come in pie form. Otherwise Ashton Kutcher and the Olsen Twins would rule the world.

Many people act like they do not realize this to be true. I find that I have fewer and fewer friends because so many girls get catty and judgmental and so many people in general would rather see you fail and struggle then succeed.  As a newbie to the world of entrepreneurship, one of the rules of growth is to be careful with whom you share your ideas with. Haters bring negativity and no one taking a risk needs any extra doses of doubt.

Beautiful women are often harsh with other beautiful women because of competition. The fight for attention, perks, stature, or the feeling of self-worth fuel the seeds of jealousy and contempt. But let’s be honest ladies, it is not the other beautiful face that is making you look bad, it is your attitude.

The world would be a sweeter place if we could all remember that the best things in life are not limited by a pie sheet. There is a limitless amount of beauty, strength, charisma, and love to go around. I prefer to surround myself with the best of the best because it inspires me to be more tomorrow than what I am today. The narrow-minded can stay home.

If your thoughts are limited to a 12 inch circle, it is not too late to break free. When you do, you can join my club.

Yours Truly,

Cleo

As far as I understand, when something does not fit well, you have two choices: shove it in OR give up. I tend to practice both philosophies in my life, mostly out of curiosity.

Sometimes you meet a cute boy and he asks for your phone number. It is new and exciting until he decides to text you for the first time at 3am saying, “Wanna make out?”. Square peg may not even be screwed in properly.

Other times you meet an average looking boy and he surprises you with wit and charm. You have lots of fun together and special exchanges of butterflies. Then you start to think that maybe what you wanted was a triangular peg after all.

You can change your mind all you want, but a triangle is not comfortable inside a circle.

Sometimes you can find bedazzled square pegs. These fancy ones are fun to keep around for entertainment purposes but does not necessarily make them fit better.

Other times you meet square pegs with round edges and it’s such a close match! Attraction, conversation, and availability. Yet something is missing that you can not explain.

And then one day you do find a circle peg! What a rush.

But sometimes the circle peg is not done meeting square holes.

And the cycle begins again.

The good thing is that this time you know how to recognize a circle from a square and you know that trying to make a square fit or trying to make a triangle appealing is just effort without results.

If you are really lucky, then you now also have the experience to realize that all these pegs can not do anything to change your shape, what fits you best, and what you deserve.

To summer flings and more,

Cleo

 

 

People say this to me often.

“Why don’t you have a boyfriend?” What tends to follow is, “Just lower your standards a little.”

If I could lower my standards and be happy, don’t you think that I would just do it already? It’s not like I am trying to win a contest of who can stay single the longest. I would love to have someone that could watch movies with me and play with my hair.

For those of you that have known me for many years, you know that I have not always had high standards. I used to have lots of boyfriends because I would only look for a few, key qualities and ignore the rest. Usually if a guy was nice and treated me well, then that was enough.

My ability to ignore things has drastically decreased. I can no longer date men that play video games all day, drink themselves to a mushy physique, smell bad, have yellow teeth, embarrass themselves in public, cry a lot, dress like it’s still the 90’s, smoke a lot of “medicine”, have a different personality around friends, have small hands, do not like to cuddle, think driving really fast is cool, have a dry sense of humor, or have nothing interesting to say (these are all true).

I have lowered my standards before, but having the wrong boyfriend is worse than being single and lonely. When single, I spend my time thinking of ways to improve my life. Although occasionally rough for a person like me that loves companionship and the idea of love, at least I know I am improving. When I do not fully adore my boyfriend, my time is spent trying to convince myself that I am happy or that I have enough patience…or else I am thinking of the most strategic ways in which to end the relationship. Sad, I know.

I guess I am at that annoying stage in my life that middle-aged people always tell me to cherish. “I wish I had enjoyed my 20’s more!” Alright, but your 20’s kind of suck when you have no proven career, no authority in the workplace, no family, no money, no beach house, no swimming pool in your backyard, no nanny, and so many distractions. The opportunities are beautiful and boundless, but it is such a waiting game to see which ones will flourish and which ones will crash. One step at a time and hopefully 30 years from now I won’t regret anything major…

Chat soon,

Cleo

 

I grew up as an athlete and still carry the same “hard-core” mentality to this day. I do not claim to sit at the top of the bad-ass pyramid, however I dabble in my fair share of physical challenges and can keep up with some of the best.

Despite the half-marathons, ocean swims, and Equinox circuit workouts, the concept of a Mud Run has always interested me. What is not fun about getting dirty and tackling people? Or maybe hiking a mountain would be fun (but only with a guarantee of zero snake encounters). I have other friends that enjoy rock climbing, riding motorcycles, running ultramarathons, or going on wacky juice diets.

As much as I understand the appeal of a good challenge, I can not help but wonder if maybe we are all crazy. Life is already one huge obstacle course! What sense is there in adding MORE?

Living in LA has many challenges of its own. I plan my schedule around rush hour traffic, know that discovering street parking is close to a miracle, find that most people are rude unless trying to get something out of you, frequenting trendy bars and restaurants gets pricey, and most of the hottest men are gay.

Sculpting the body you want is a challenge. Getting over your first love is a challenge. Smiling while at work is a challenge. Being an entrepreneur is a challenge.

Not to mention that DATING is one huge challenge.

So why do we even try? Why don’t we all just eat brown rice and chicken, walk around the block, watch TV, and live alone forever?

Oprah would not accept this of you. This is not living! Being safe and mechanical is a waste of your amazing human brain.

So I am going to stop watching the Mud Run of Love from the sidelines. I am going to stop running circles on the treadmill of the same men. (Can I get an amen?) I am coming out of my dating comma even if that means I need to start online dating, hitting on guys at the gym, burning incense, or praying.

I am currently accepting blind date proposals from trusted sources.

Good luck to you!

Cleo

Follow me on Instagram! @cleoheartsyou

I spend more time with myself that anyone else. In getting to know me, I have learned that I am a naturally happy person that instinctively reacts negatively to most everything.

I am not sure exactly why this is. I may have been conditioned this way as a child or maybe a strand of my dna is wired differently. Nonetheless, my fulcrum is heavily skewed to the negative despite my inability to wipe this smile off my face. Quite a strange combination.

I am not good at accepting compliments. I tend to think that most people are not genuine and/or have a secret agenda.

I believe most people want to see me fail.

Although actions may speak louder than words, actions alone are not enough to convince me of anything.

I have little faith in life running according to plan (so I try not to plan).

I believe that unhappy people are common and hurt other people, whether intentional or not.

The majority of people do not know themselves well enough.

I do not believe that all my dreams will come true.

I have to look really hard to see love around me.

Criticism resonates with me much more than encouragement.

Pain can scare anyone and people’s actions when scared are often unpredictable. However, those who do nothing that scares them are not people I am interested in knowing.

When you hurt me or make me angry, I want to slap you with my concise vocabulary and way of speaking. I want to make you immediately regret messing with me. I want to boss you around and make you submit.

The strange thing about all this is that it is just perspective. None of this is fact or justifiable as truth. Is it possible that I want to see the bad?

I would be interested in knowing what the grass is like on the other side. What does it feel like to naturally react positively? Sounds like it would take a lot of effort, but if your perspective can change your outcome, it may be worth it after all.

Rainbows, unicorns, true love, mariposas,and calorie-free,

Cleo