Posts Tagged ‘Flirting’
Sometimes I like to ask people when the last time they cried was.
If you asked me that question my answer would be: last week. I may be above average on the emotional side or I also have this theory that I suffer from over-productive tear glands… but that’s better than over-productive ovaries!
The Brad Paisley Pandora station or a strong conversation about my parents could bring a tear to my eye. Usually it is thoughts about people I love that I must let go of, for one reason or another, that release the flood gates.
Am I an emotional wreck? Not at all. I smile, laugh, and feel peace more often any other emotion. Sometimes I cry from happiness or because of how much love I see around and within me.
I do not expect many people to experience the same levels as I do because, as we know, I am quite exceptional. Don’t hate!
When it comes to dating, I’ve realized that one quality that really draws me into a man is his ability to feel pain. Please do not mistake this for an attraction toward soft, weak, girly men. I am not the kind of girl that wants to play mommy with my lover. I am a mix of weak and strong, so if you are not as strong as I am, we will have a problem.
However, a man that takes emotional, mental, or love-related risks and consciously deals with the repercussions is someone I could find interesting for a long time. One thing that would instantaneously cross a guy off my list is the practice of floating. Floating over heartache as if nothing happened, floating in the shallow end of conversation, floating through women as if lust was the most fulfilling aspect of life. Emptiness is contagious and I am not looking for the easy way out.
“The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.” -Oliver Wilde
At first I was not sure of my opinion of this Oliver Wilde quote on the wall of Marquee Club in Las Vegas. I just thought it looked cool! Of course, you are entitled to your own interpretation, but to me this raises the idea that temptations, mistakes, failures, heart ache, etc. are not what hinder us. Instead, it is the inability to learn from and rid our lives of them that ultimately allows us to fall short of greatness.
If you are going through pain, do not shy away from feeling it. Embrace that other side of being human. If you are dating someone that floats above the ability to care, consider moving on. We are all fragile and need to be picky in what we feed ourselves. :)
To glutten-free dating,
Cleo
As far as I understand, when something does not fit well, you have two choices: shove it in OR give up. I tend to practice both philosophies in my life, mostly out of curiosity.
Sometimes you meet a cute boy and he asks for your phone number. It is new and exciting until he decides to text you for the first time at 3am saying, “Wanna make out?”. Square peg may not even be screwed in properly.
Other times you meet an average looking boy and he surprises you with wit and charm. You have lots of fun together and special exchanges of butterflies. Then you start to think that maybe what you wanted was a triangular peg after all.
You can change your mind all you want, but a triangle is not comfortable inside a circle.
Sometimes you can find bedazzled square pegs. These fancy ones are fun to keep around for entertainment purposes but does not necessarily make them fit better.
Other times you meet square pegs with round edges and it’s such a close match! Attraction, conversation, and availability. Yet something is missing that you can not explain.
And then one day you do find a circle peg! What a rush.
But sometimes the circle peg is not done meeting square holes.
And the cycle begins again.
The good thing is that this time you know how to recognize a circle from a square and you know that trying to make a square fit or trying to make a triangle appealing is just effort without results.
If you are really lucky, then you now also have the experience to realize that all these pegs can not do anything to change your shape, what fits you best, and what you deserve.
To summer flings and more,
Cleo
Whenever a man/boy/guy/gentleman/dude/douche offers to buy me something, there is always a little voice in the back of my mind that asks, “What will he require in return for this?”
Depending on how well I know the person and what the size of the gesture means to him, I will deduce an appropriate response.
For example, if a poor actor friend offers to take me to a fancy dinner, then I will take that as a grand gesture. On the flip side, if a super wealthy man offers to give me jewels and buy me designer clothes, I will take this as a medium, not-so-serious gesture and if a middle-class guy offers to get me Yogurtland, I will take this as a small gesture. (Offers are real and not fabricated.) Also, a good friend or coworker may not be thinking “SEX” if he buys me some drinks during a night out, but a stranger most likely will be. All of these factors influence my decisions.
Regardless, and I think I speak for most women, the following list are 10 things that women have the hardest time saying “No” to:
10. Would you like some cheesecake? My treat.
9. Would you like to skip the line and enter [insert venue name] for free?
8. Would you like another skinny-girl margarita?
7. Would you like to go shopping and take my credit card?
6. Would you like me to talk about why all of the other girls around are not as pretty as you are?
5. Would you like some more bread? You are too skinny.
4. Would you like to watch a Ryan Gosling movie?
3. May I Instagram this photo of you and your friends?
2. Would you like to see other people while I patiently wait for you and only you?
1. May I please go down on you? ;)
Be careful of men that abuse our weaknesses! But giving in every once in awhile can be oh so much fun.
Have a playful weekend,
Cleo
How Organic Are You?
Posted on: June 20, 2012
I went to Whole Foods last night to get chicken noodle soup for my cute, little, sicky roommate. What was left was mostly broth so I played the damsel-in-distress card and asked them for a fresh batch. To my surprise, it comes pre-made! No wonder the recipe never took my breath away.
As I struggled to scoop the excessively long noodles out of the metal tin with a spoon (impossible!), my eyes gazed up and locked with Mr. Whole Foods Employee. Dark hair, dark eyes. Just how I like it! I could feel him focus on me from across the counter. Even though I was not sure why since I had wet hair and was wearing my least best outfit of the week and even though I am not typically attracted to the staff of grocery stores, I decided to ignore those thoughts and embrace the mutual energy.
Continuing to splash noodles all over myself, I turn to notice that dark-eyes has moved from the opposite end of the counter to the side closest to me. How ironic. As he helps an older woman wearing a fuchsia sweater, he strategically drops an empty sample cup right next to my foot. I smile, pick it up for him, and as our hands touch there was a spontaneous lightening storm inside the store. He says, “thank you” and I turn away.
Here comes the point when a decision must be made. Do I push through the initial moment of contact and progress to the next level or do I let it sweetly linger to be potentially continued later?
I went through a phase last year when I always pushed forward. I considered it “being brave”, and it was. I took risks and rushed moments. I tried to rapidly propel the growth of feelings and attraction.
Although a whirlwind of excitement, there is something to be said of interactions that progress organically. Taking one sweet moment at a time extends the life of each and we all know that these moments tend to be few and far between. The risk here is that a future encounter is not guaranteed.
Last night I chose organic. Small steps. Nothing may ever happen, but today my spirits are just slightly higher.
Often we try to create what we want out of something before it is ready. We lose some patience because we are all so anxious to get our hands around our dreams. I am totally guilty of this more times than I realize.
How organic are you? How much do you let life lead you?
Sometimes the best thing we can do is to just enjoy the ride.
Turns out that the most organic thing at Whole Foods is the staff.
Sincerely yours,
Cleo
The Mud Run of Love
Posted on: June 12, 2012
I grew up as an athlete and still carry the same “hard-core” mentality to this day. I do not claim to sit at the top of the bad-ass pyramid, however I dabble in my fair share of physical challenges and can keep up with some of the best.
Despite the half-marathons, ocean swims, and Equinox circuit workouts, the concept of a Mud Run has always interested me. What is not fun about getting dirty and tackling people? Or maybe hiking a mountain would be fun (but only with a guarantee of zero snake encounters). I have other friends that enjoy rock climbing, riding motorcycles, running ultramarathons, or going on wacky juice diets.
As much as I understand the appeal of a good challenge, I can not help but wonder if maybe we are all crazy. Life is already one huge obstacle course! What sense is there in adding MORE?
Living in LA has many challenges of its own. I plan my schedule around rush hour traffic, know that discovering street parking is close to a miracle, find that most people are rude unless trying to get something out of you, frequenting trendy bars and restaurants gets pricey, and most of the hottest men are gay.
Sculpting the body you want is a challenge. Getting over your first love is a challenge. Smiling while at work is a challenge. Being an entrepreneur is a challenge.
Not to mention that DATING is one huge challenge.
So why do we even try? Why don’t we all just eat brown rice and chicken, walk around the block, watch TV, and live alone forever?
Oprah would not accept this of you. This is not living! Being safe and mechanical is a waste of your amazing human brain.
So I am going to stop watching the Mud Run of Love from the sidelines. I am going to stop running circles on the treadmill of the same men. (Can I get an amen?) I am coming out of my dating comma even if that means I need to start online dating, hitting on guys at the gym, burning incense, or praying.
I am currently accepting blind date proposals from trusted sources.
Good luck to you!
Cleo
Follow me on Instagram! @cleoheartsyou
Sometimes I feel like a big Loser (note the capital letter).
I get caught up in country songs and try to apply them to my life. I want a Prince Charming of my own and I want him to have a big “horse.” I believe you could love me because I am the perfect mix of spicy and sweet. I give second and eighth chances because some people just need more time. And I really mean it when I say I miss you, so it extra sucks when you do not feel the same way.
I feel like a loser because so far my track record is full of endings! Oops! I look forward to things like napping, chai tea lattes, and a good cry. L-O-S-E-R.
But when I look at myself in the mirror, all those feelings melt away. And then it all comes rushing back to me and I remember how smart and successful and fun I am. So obviously I am not the loser, all those other men are!
For some reason I have never been afraid of the “L” (as in Love) word. If it is something I feel, then I am more afraid of not saying it. I can usually handle the rejection because I have so much love to give that my love now is most likely not my last. Unfortunately most people are not this way, so I guess I am a little bit scary! Loser times two.
However, I can not help but wonder if maybe I am just dating the wrong gender. I am pretty sure that my expressions of love and sweet gestures would sweep any lady off of her feet and we could listen to Brad Paisley together and buy “horses” together and talk about feelings and menstruation.
So maybe I am just a Loser because I am not in Love with a Lesbian?
(As a side note, I am fully aware that this post may scare off all men and I am okay with that.)
Do not stop fighting for love ladies and gents because if you do, my chances of finding it are much lower.
Thank you,
Cleo
Trying Too Hard
Posted on: February 2, 2012
If I had a reality show, we could all watch the clip from a few nights ago of that-guy-at-the-bar-that-was-trying-too-hard… even the valet people outside felt sorry for him.
For as long as I can remember, I have had a thing for bartenders. I’m not even sure why, but my friends could vouch that this is in fact, true. Therefore, if I have the opportunity to eat dinner at a restaurant’s bar as a hot man leans over me to set down my utensils and take my order, I jump on it. It’s much easier to flirt when bartender-man is stuck behind a counter and I can “accidentally” stare at him all night.
This week, my girlfriend and I go to a new place for dinner and there are two lovey bar stools available, as if my Libra stars aligned and reserved them for us. I asked the man to the left if the seat was taken, because I wanted to be polite.
“Yes,” he said. “I was saving it for you.”
Eeerk. Stop there. Now if Ryan Gosling or his look-a-like said this, then no problem! Sign me up for this chair next to you. However, that was not at all the case and instead sleep-deprived, lanky, overly-eager man who was probably a mathlete in high school made googly eyes at me and I felt dirty.
Thus, I sat my body as far right on my chair as possible to create the greatest amount of distance between us and slightly turned my back to him.
“Are you an actress?” I hear coming from my left. My mind literally debates if the restaurant is loud enough to where I could pretend I did not hear him. Unfortunately, it is not.
“No.” I wanted to stop at that but felt bad and added, “why did you think that?” and a half smile.
He goes on to explain that I give off an actress vibe because I am proper and sit up straight. I say, “Hmmm, that’s interesting,” and I tell him that I am a writer. However, what I am actually thinking is, I wonder if he can tell that I’m praying he stops talking. I turn away as soon as there is a lull, pretending I am thirsty.
conversation diversion
Saved to breathe another moment of silence. Until…
“So what name can I look for online when you become famous?”
I now have to turn a complete 180 to face him, since I was leaning as far away as physically feasible. I strain my neck and tell him how I go by Cleo online (holla!).
Long story short, I avoid further conversation and could not help but wonder how nice to would be if his friend next to him had the balls to say, “hey man, you’re wasting your time. She’s not interested.”
Too often friends stay quiet when they should take a stand and speak out! If your boy is making a fool of himself, save him. Wouldn’t you want someone to do the same for you?
I know I definitely appreciate when my girlfriends warn me when I’m being too flirtatious! Sometimes in a social setting with a little liquid courage, the line between being playful and embarrassing can be a little blurry, at least for me.
There is a site floating around online called Comiingle, where you can help your friends with dating. This is the new way to approach dating online… kind of how unfriending someone on Facebook is the new way to stop dating someone without saying anything.
Comiingle is good because users can get a third, fourth, eighth, or twentieth opinion before having to go on that awkward blind date, meet that girl that used a picture from 10 years ago, or that guy that lied about his profession and income. Friends can also steer you clear of hazardous suitors.
Additionally, Comiingle gives you access to wing-men and wing-women! Despite my misfortune with bar stool neighbor, I was lucky that my girlfriend broke the ice with bartender-man and asked him his birthday so that we could figure out his zodiac sign (Cancer, btw). I was actually not going to spark conversation because I did not feel it was organic at the time and would have been forced. Thank goodness god invented wing-people to give us a shove in the right direction when we feel frozen.
Be a good friend and help your friends out with their dating woes when necessary, even when not asked. And use your resources! That is why Cleo, Comiingle, and all the other dating tools exist. We are here to help.
Mucho amor,
Cleonita
We can choose to accept or deny our destiny. Choosing a hybrid of both leads to a rollercoaster of emotions and thoughts. Although I loved them as an eight-year-old, I am not a thrill-seeker when it comes to the stability of my life.
Thus, I am accepting my unfairytale, single forever, cougar destiny.
In chronological order, here is the plan on how to achieve said status.
1. Date only men with great abs.
2. Perfect current demeanor of being visible yet untouchable.
3. Maintain attractive physique.
4. Frequent bars and clubs instead of bookstores and coffee shops.
5. Keep dating men with great abs.
6. Only talk about men with great abs to friends.
7. Pursue dating men with abs and focus less on my career.
8. Have comfort food nights when abs man disappoints.
9. Focus on career as a distraction.
10. Talk about ex abs men on dates with new guys.
11. Add man-eater as part of career. Become ruthless and cold on the inside.
12. Get breast implants.
13. Refuse marriage proposal from nice, average=looking man with stable job.
14. Get cat instead.
15. Keep looking for nice man with abs… and hair.
16. Fail.
17. Get two more cats.
18. Take up knitting.
19. Have martinis for dinner.
20. Prey on the young and weak.
This seems like a flawless plan to me. Another perk is, it seems that a lot of LA girls are on this same regime. We should compare notes!
All in good fun,
Cleo
If you know me, then you know that I have zero issues in landing a suitor. A man who will buy me drinks and dinner can be found in most any nook of pleasure-driven Los Angeles. A man who would prefer to skip the courtship and head straight for the “dessert” is even easier to find.
Finding a man to have a solid conversation with (my favorite thing in the whole world) is harder to stumble upon, but oddly enough, not too difficult. However, in a world of actors and wannabe actors, it can get hard to tell who may be playing a character.
Overall, I try very hard to live in the moment. When I am on a date, out with friends, or alone in my room, I try to live in the now and not focus on my past or the tasks of tomorrow. With that said, I also try to make the absolute most out of every moment- the most fun, most contemplative, most interesting, most progressive, or most uplifting moment that I can create. I reach for exceptional. I don’t always succeed, but I try hard.
Whether first date, third date, boring man, immature boy, or Greek God, I do my best to have a great time no matter the circumstance. If I am going to be stuck somewhere, I am not going to waste it. I will laugh, even if it is just me making myself laugh. I will ask complex questions. I will flirt and test the boundaries of chemistry. I will drink. I will dine. I will learn something even if I have to dig for it. I will be myself.
Photo by Marie Buck
I accept that not every date or time spent with a man will be magical. In that sense, my dating life is fine. I meet new people, I have old contacts, I go on dates, and I have fun. The problem, for me, lies in the post-date moments.
It has been a VERY long time that the giddy, elated feelings of a date do not completely DIE by the time I get in my car to drive home, go to bed, and wake up the next morning. I feel blah the next day. When my spirit is not inline with another’s, I feel uneasy. If I know he is the kind of guy that wont call me, I feel uneasy. If I can tell he likes me a lot more than I like him, I feel uneasy. If I think he might be dating other women, I feel uneasy. If I sense that I am going to have to break off seeing someone, I feel uneasy. If the timing is off, if we do not openly communicate, if we do not understand each other, I feel uneasy. If I don’t think about him at all, well, I feel fine but it’s back to the drawing board.
Thus, the major deficit in my dating life is feeling good about the direction of my dates. I might as well be a [super cute] little mouse in maze that keeps hitting all the walls no matter what direction is tried. Where is the frickin cheese??
One of these days, I will feel good after the fact. Until then, chocolate and Nordstrom.com are a single girl’s best friend.
Luv,
Cleo
Cleo's Dating Blog 